A
Alovingmom
Guest
My husband and I are going thru a messy divorce. One day he kicked my daugther in the back and I got upset. This was not the first time he has done this. We argued alot about his way of discipline for the girls. I have three girls from previous marriage and a two year old with my husband. Well when I went to comfort him about it, he got upset and told me I didnt need to stick up for my girls and that they lied alot. I have witness this before but always felt trapped because I didnt feel I could make it on my own with with four kids. I would tell myself that he wasnt a bad father, he is just making them mind. Well that evening, he got upset and he smacked me and spit in my face. I had enough of this. I wasnt going to put up with it no more. I told him I was leaving and he said fine. Go ahead, leave and he called me several names in front of the girls. I took the girls to a mobile home that I had parked on my fathers property. I wasnt sure if my father would let me stay because he was mad I wouldnt lie in court for him. You see he was sueing the neighboors and I didnt want to get involved. Well, the mobile home was mine but the property it was on was his. As soon as he found out I was living in the home, he filed eviction notice and I was asked to leave by the court. I really had no where to turn and I knew I didnt want to go back to my husband. I had put up with loud arguing and fighting for 6 years. I was talking with a male friend one day and he said I could move in with him and we could help each other out. He was also seperated from his wife and neither one had filed because of money issues. I thought about it and decidced I would live there until I could get enough money up to get an attorney and ask for my home back. By this time a few months had past and my husband had two guys, his daughter and her girlfriend living in the house. My husband and I had worked out arrangements with our daughter that he would have her one week and I would have her one week untill she reached preschool age. My husband is legally blind but he can see. I always tell him, he sees what he wants to but the state has granted him disability for being legally blind and therefore he didnt work. I have been on my job for nine years and make twice as much as his disability. Everything was going fine I thought and then one week I went to pick up my daughter and no one was there. I called and called. I called for four days. No answer. I was very worried. I went to the house and no one was there. I let myself in and found a copy of divorce papers he had filed. I was so upset. How could he do this to me. A week prior to this he wanted me to have sex with him and I said No. He got mad and he accussed me of sleeping with my roomate. Later on that day, I was severed with my divorce papers. The judge had granted him temp custody and I had only every other weekend and it had to be supervised. My husband claims I left because of Martial Misconduct. I was so mad. The order said that my daughter could not be around my roommate or any other male not related. How can that be? There was no problem until I wouldnt sleep with him. My husband says I deserve what Im getting and im so turn up because I miss my daugther so much. I had her enrolled in daycare every other week. She liked being around other children. I know she loves her dad, but she needs to be around kids her age, not with adults lugging her around all the time. The people he has living with him are no good. One is in jail and gets out in two days. He has a restraining order on him from his ex wife for threating her life and was granted it. My husbands daughter lives there and she strips at nite at a local strip joint. Also her friend lives there, they share the same bed. Another man lives there, and I recently discovered he had a DUI last week. He is known for drinking. My husband has been charged with theft and also battery on another person, not me. But this was two years ago. I have no criminal record. His parents drive by the house taking pictures of my roomates truck and the house. I dont know why, but my husband says he is going to use it in court. I never filed charges on my husband because I thought he would change and I have always had that in my life even as a child and men hit on my mom. What kind of evidence can I use. Alot of people say that what im saying is hear say and the Judge will need proof. My husband has alot of friends he says will come to court and testify that im unfit. Isnt what they say is hear say? I dont understand the law at all. I have always been there for my girls and now I feel helpless. My mother said I should of filed first and none of this would be happening. I dont have alot of money and most attorneys what 1000 retainer fee. Thats alot for me. I dont even know if I can come up with that by the 29th when our court date is set. Im going to call around tommorrow and see if I can find someone who will take payments. Its not easy with 4 kids. My other girls are in a Girls INC club after school which is charging me a fortune, but I didnt want to leave them at home. My oldest is 13 and I think the law says, they can be left alone for up to 4 hours, but I think she would get herself into trouble. I want to file and ask for the house, so I can sell it and get a home closer to work. My husband cant even drive. How is going to take her to the doctors, he cant depend on his friends, because they are reliable. How can I get proof of how is living there at the house, I mean I know, but I need proof. I went down to court house and got criminal records on my husband the two guys that live there. My husband got the phone turned on and I know he had to use another name because he owes a prior bill. What kinds of resources can I use to my advantage? Im hunting an attorney now, and hope to find one tommorrow. Ive got 600.00 saved up, I hope that it will be enought to get it started. The mortage company called and said the house payment hasnt been paid for the last two months. I know he used that money to get his attorney. He told me that he was going to live in the house until it went into foreclosure and they would come after me because they cant get money from him, because he is on disability. My husband is very sneaky like that. He also called my roomates wife up and told her a bunch of lies and now he said he is bringing her to court with him. Should I move out? I just my girls stable and its nice living here. They have there own rooms and so do I. They love the new school and my daughter said she is glad I left. Can I have the girls talk to the Judge and tell him what kind of man my husband is. He spanked them once with a hanger and left marks on their legs. I went off, but he would get mad and I was scared of him. My daughter said when she went to visit him on X-mas day, because he said he had presents for them, that one man was smoking pot in the basement and she could smell it. She said she told my husband but he said to stay upstairs and that it wasnt pot, he asked her how she knew what pot smelled like. She knows, because the first three years together he would smoke it often and he finally quit. We started going to church and he stopped drinking too. When he did all this, he got very moody and always started arguements. He said he was going to call the people at the church and have them testify that he went to church and how good of a person he is. But they dont see him when he lives there, we would get out of church and he would start arguing on the way home. Or he would always talk about everyone there and how he was much better then they were. Well theres more, but tell me so far, do I stand a chance at getting my girl back. She needs to be with her sisters. My 10 is close if not closer then her own father, because would always make her watch her in her room or hold her when she cried. We miss her very much. Please help me, im desperate. I am a good mother and he is full of lies. He just want to get back at me for leaving. He even told me I would regret it. Thank you for listening.