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Mediation gone sour

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brs

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Connecticut

Have been going to mediation since May 2006. It has been four months, 10-12 2 hour+ meetings with the mediator and we still are not settled! Several issues are hanging us up and I am concerned at this point about what is going on. The mediator is also a family law lawyer, a collaborative lawyer and a special masters so the experience there. My concerns are the following:

1. My STBE agreed at the first or second meeting to put the house on the market but refuses to sign the contract to put the house on the market. This happens EVERY time we go to mediation. He agrees to selling the house and to a date to out the house on the market and then refuses to sign the contract. Why can he get away with this and how can I address this or get my STBE to honor this? Also, in May, we the realtor we are working with was going to put the house on the market for X amount of dollars. Now, the market has changed and it is the start of the slow season and the realtor is recommending a price $10,000 lower. Is there any way to address this?

2. After the first six sessions with the mediator we finally agreed on a custody arrangement and parenting plan. We moved on to the financial issues which took another 4-6 meetings with the mediator. We had a meeting last week to tighten up some of the language and to agree to a final draft. My STBE ex made a last minute request to change part of the custody agreement. He wanted the option to have a 2 hour visit with the children after my long weekend.I thought about it and responded that maybe the children would benefit from the extra visit after a long weekend and that I would like the same option after his long weekend as well. The mediator suggested language as to how it would be worded in the agreement. My STBE responded "Absolutely not!You have them for 5 days and I only have them for 4! I cannot do this! I am leaving!" He left the room and waited in the waiting area. The mediator then spent the next ten minutes "talking" to me. My question is why should one parent be expected to give up their option to see their children while giving the other parent the exclusive right to that option?

3. What happens if we terminate mediation at this point and go to court? Will the courts honor any of the settlement that was created in mediation?

Thanks for your help.

brs
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
After 10-12 sessions of mediation, with no resolution, it very well could be time to take it in front of a judge. I think that I wouldn't have waited this long myself...particularly since he will not sign the documentation to put the house on the market.

You can go in front of the judge with a list of things that you have agreed upon, and a list that you have not.
 

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