miserable

[sdelira]

What is the name of your state? CA

My wife has "fallen" out of love. W/o her saying anything except for hints, suggestions over the last 5 years, she suddenly met someone. After a 3-week e-mail and telephone affair, complete w/ explicit sexual details, the 2 were to meet and finalize what they were apparently fantasizing about for the past 3 weeks. This would have happened & would have maybe never have been mentioned, exect for the fact that I found out EVERYTHING. By the way, anyone listening, don't marry an IT professional and expect to screw around electronicly.

She says she is going to seek therapy. In the meantime I'm on meds, not eating or sleeping while living in the same house. I fear she is positioning herself to leave me. To avert disaster for myself financially I was hoping to find out how I would be obligated if she or I was to leave. We have a 15 year old son and we do own our house.

Any advise would be much appreciated. SDWhat is the name of your state?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state? CA

My wife has "fallen" out of love. W/o her saying anything except for hints, suggestions over the last 5 years, she suddenly met someone. After a 3-week e-mail and telephone affair, complete w/ explicit sexual details, the 2 were to meet and finalize what they were apparently fantasizing about for the past 3 weeks. This would have happened & would have maybe never have been mentioned, exect for the fact that I found out EVERYTHING. By the way, anyone listening, don't marry an IT professional and expect to screw around electronicly.

She says she is going to seek therapy. In the meantime I'm on meds, not eating or sleeping while living in the same house. I fear she is positioning herself to leave me. To avert disaster for myself financially I was hoping to find out how I would be obligated if she or I was to leave. We have a 15 year old son and we do own our house.

Any advise would be much appreciated. SDWhat is the name of your state?

Well it depends a lot on who has custody of the son. My advice would be to stay in the house, file for divorce and motion for temporary orders granting you custody and having her pay you child support. If the house is marital property then you each are due approximately half the equity that accrued during the marriage (though if you are both on the deed you would each be entitled to half the total equity).

 

[LdiJ]

Well it depends a lot on who has custody of the son. My advice would be to stay in the house, file for divorce and motion for temporary orders granting you custody and having her pay you child support. If the house is marital property then you each are due approximately half the equity that accrued during the marriage (though if you are both on the deed you would each be entitled to half the total equity).

And each of you would be entitled to 1/2 of any other assets that accrued during the marriage (bank accounts, brokerage accounts, retirement accounts) and you would each be responsible for 1/2 of the debt that accrued during the marriage.

 

[sdelira]

Thanks for the advise Ohiogal... are you single (joking). Just trying to cope...

PS My son does not know anything about this yet. Only about 3 other people know about this. Would it be wise to continue to maintain until she "finds" herself, or should I start the process of letting people know what's going on. Including my son. The more time that passes, I think will only make things more difficult.

PS: She just turned 40. Does that have anything to do w/ this

Thanx, again...SD

 

[Bali Hai]

Thanks for the advise Ohiogal... are you single (joking). Just trying to cope...

This is no joke jackass.

PS My son does not know anything about this yet. Only about 3 other people know about this. Would it be wise to continue to maintain until she "finds" herself,

You are a complete jackass!

or should I start the process of letting people know what's going on. Including my son. The more time that passes, I think will only make things more difficult.

PS: She just turned 40. Does that have anything to do w/ this

Thanx, again...SD

Give me your address and I'll send you a box of Kleenex. After that's used up you are on your own.

 

[sdelira]

Yeah, I need a box of kleenex,...
I realize this is no joking matter... You could not POSSIBLY know what I have gone though the past 2 weeks. Maybe you can, but I doubt it. My work is about to explode right now, My mom just had a stroke and has lost the use of her legs, now my wife wants to have an affair w/ a guy she met 3 weeks ago because he "understanders" her so well. W/o the jokes and meds I would be a complete train wreck. The only reason that I haven't checked out is because of my son. I'm just looking for advise...you can keep your kleenex. cheers.