my first question

[david1$]

my wife and I bought a house together in Washington, D.C. with most of the down payment coming from myself and gifts from my family. My wife has asked me to move out while she thinks about our future. Our issue is that I did not show enough affection towards her, i.e. hugs. My question is,"if I am the one who moves out and if we do go to divorce, will the fact that I left the me in a position of not retaining the home during the divorce proceedings."

 

[MFinancier]

my wife and I bought a house together in Washington, D.C. with most of the down payment coming from myself and gifts from my family. My wife has asked me to move out while she thinks about our future. Our issue is that I did not show enough affection towards her, i.e. hugs. My question is,"if I am the one who moves out and if we do go to divorce, will the fact that I left the me in a position of not retaining the home during the divorce proceedings."

Your marital finances will be split equitably, and you may be able to get additional credit (or at least additional consideration by the judge in an equitable division) for the down payment and gifts you mentioned, if you keep your records...but often spouses who leave the primary residence set a precedent that is hard to over come, and they generally lose possession of the house. You'll get some sort of monetary offset...but she'll get the house. Just make sure you agree on how all the finances will be handled during your temporary separation if you do choose to leave. You may in fact eventually be ordered to leave whether you want to or not, but until then...DO NOT do so until you understand the impact on your finances, agree on all the expenses, get copies of all your financial records, and video tape all your possesions. You just never know when things will take a turn for the worse.

 

[nextwife]

It's your house too, why should you have to move out?

 

[mistoffolees]

my wife and I bought a house together in Washington, D.C. with most of the down payment coming from myself and gifts from my family. My wife has asked me to move out while she thinks about our future. Our issue is that I did not show enough affection towards her, i.e. hugs. My question is,"if I am the one who moves out and if we do go to divorce, will the fact that I left the me in a position of not retaining the home during the divorce proceedings."

Under that scenario, I wouldn't move. If she's so eager to 'think about your future', then she can move out.

That becomes doubly true if there are kids involved.

 

[nextwife]

Under that scenario, I wouldn't move. If she's so eager to 'think about your future', then she can move out.

That becomes doubly true if there are kids involved.

I agree. Betcha your family that enabled this purchase did not do so to provide a possibly STBX a home, they helped with money so YOU could have this home.

 

[LdiJ]

my wife and I bought a house together in Washington, D.C. with most of the down payment coming from myself and gifts from my family. My wife has asked me to move out while she thinks about our future. Our issue is that I did not show enough affection towards her, i.e. hugs. My question is,"if I am the one who moves out and if we do go to divorce, will the fact that I left the me in a position of not retaining the home during the divorce proceedings."

Bottom line, as far as the house is concerned, is whoever gets the house in the divorce will have to refinance the house for enough to pay off the principal mortage AND buy out the equity of the other spouse.

It really doesn't matter who moves out. If both of you want the house then the judge is going to look at it based on who can best financially accomplish that goal, and if neither realistically can, then the judge is going to order the house sold and the proceeds split.

You know yourself who can realistically afford the house or not, by buying out the other's share. So you don't really need our advice.

 

[mistoffolees]

Bottom line, as far as the house is concerned, is whoever gets the house in the divorce will have to refinance the house for enough to pay off the principal mortage AND buy out the equity of the other spouse.

It really doesn't matter who moves out. If both of you want the house then the judge is going to look at it based on who can best financially accomplish that goal, and if neither realistically can, then the judge is going to order the house sold and the proceeds split.

You know yourself who can realistically afford the house or not, by buying out the other's share. So you don't really need our advice.

But if BOTH can realistically afford to keep the house, moving out will lessen his chances of keeping it.

 

[LdiJ]

But if BOTH can realistically afford to keep the house, moving out will lessen his chances of keeping it.

That's a valid point. It doesn't happen very often, but its definitely a valid point.

 

[mistoffolees]

That's a valid point. It doesn't happen very often, but its definitely a valid point.

I think it's a lot more common in some areas than others. In my part of the country, where you can find a nice 4 BR home for $150 K, it happens reasonably frequently. The OP was from Washington, DC so it's probably not quite as frequent, but there are plenty of 2 income homes where both people make good money. I just don't want to make assumptions one way or the other.