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  1. #1
    thersrud is offline Junior Member
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    My husband is doing drugs - what are my rights in a divorce?

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Colorado
    I've been married for 20 years. My husband is an alcoholic and used drugs before we got married. He stopped drinking and doing drugs 21 years ago when we moved away from bad family influences. However, whenever there were pain pills in the house he had a hard time staying away from them, and he is a hypochondriac and used any excuse to take prescription or OTC drugs. We had good jobs and made good money, and he always spent it all on cars and tools and showing off. He's a mechanic and got hurt at work 1 1/2 years ago and has since developed an additiction to oxycontin. He opened credit card accounts and got loans without my knowledge or approval and set up automatic payments from our joint account. His brother and girlfriend are addicts and my husband is now hanging around with them all the time. I've found pills in the house and seen text messages to them and new "friends" about buying and selling. He lost his job a couple months ago, he says due to not reporting an accident, but I wonder if he failed the drug test after the accident. He said Unemployment is investigating whether or not he's eligible for benefits, but I think he might be getting paid and just isn't telling me so he can spend the money. He pulled $75,000 from his retirement account last month without my approval, to buy a business and has lied to me 3 times about how much it was, and put it in a separate bank account that I can't access. I found papers yesterday showing how much he actually withdrew, and also that he didn't pay the taxes or penalties. He's already spent $15,000 of it in the last 6 weeks, plus I can document $70,000 he spent in the last year on cars and parts and cash withdrawals. I'm afraid he'll be arrested and everything will be seized. We own a nice home with a small mortgage vs. the value, and I don't want to lose it. I'm seeing an attorney next week to file for divorce, but how do I get him out of the house without stealing everything in it or changing the locks to keep me out. He doesn't work and could empty out the house while I'm at work. How do I prevent him from spending the rest of the money he pulled out, and buy him out of the house? His share of the house is about $90K, but can I deduct half of the amount of the cash he withdrew and half the amount of cash he spent the last year and then pay him the difference? Am I also liable for the taxes on the retirement account withdrawal, even if I file as married, filing separately? Can he try to get half of my retirement account even though I didn't benefit from his retirement account withdrawals? If I turn him ih I'm afraid that everything will be seized, so how can I make him leave?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
  2. #2
    Silverplum is offline Senior Member
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    I sincerely URGE you to see some family law attorneys IMMEDIATELY.

    Quote Originally Posted by thersrud View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Colorado
    I've been married for 20 years. My husband is an alcoholic and used drugs before we got married. He stopped drinking and doing drugs 21 years ago when we moved away from bad family influences. However, whenever there were pain pills in the house he had a hard time staying away from them, and he is a hypochondriac and used any excuse to take prescription or OTC drugs. We had good jobs and made good money, and he always spent it all on cars and tools and showing off. He's a mechanic and got hurt at work 1 1/2 years ago and has since developed an additiction to oxycontin. He opened credit card accounts and got loans without my knowledge or approval and set up automatic payments from our joint account. His brother and girlfriend are addicts and my husband is now hanging around with them all the time. I've found pills in the house and seen text messages to them and new "friends" about buying and selling. He lost his job a couple months ago, he says due to not reporting an accident, but I wonder if he failed the drug test after the accident. He said Unemployment is investigating whether or not he's eligible for benefits, but I think he might be getting paid and just isn't telling me so he can spend the money. He pulled $75,000 from his retirement account last month without my approval, to buy a business and has lied to me 3 times about how much it was, and put it in a separate bank account that I can't access. I found papers yesterday showing how much he actually withdrew, and also that he didn't pay the taxes or penalties. He's already spent $15,000 of it in the last 6 weeks, plus I can document $70,000 he spent in the last year on cars and parts and cash withdrawals. I'm afraid he'll be arrested and everything will be seized. We own a nice home with a small mortgage vs. the value, and I don't want to lose it. I'm seeing an attorney next week to file for divorce, but how do I get him out of the house without stealing everything in it or changing the locks to keep me out. He doesn't work and could empty out the house while I'm at work. How do I prevent him from spending the rest of the money he pulled out, and buy him out of the house? His share of the house is about $90K, but can I deduct half of the amount of the cash he withdrew and half the amount of cash he spent the last year and then pay him the difference? Am I also liable for the taxes on the retirement account withdrawal, even if I file as married, filing separately? Can he try to get half of my retirement account even though I didn't benefit from his retirement account withdrawals? If I turn him ih I'm afraid that everything will be seized, so how can I make him leave?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
  3. #3
    Zigner is offline Senior Member
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    Your attorney will be able to help. I would suggest trying to see him/her sooner than next week.
  4. #4
    xylene is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by thersrud View Post
    So how can I make him leave?
    As others have said, consult a lawyer immediately

    But don't expect this to be one sided.

    Your husband has a serious illness, and I really don't see anything in you post that says he has lost his right to reside in the marital home.

    The house may likely end up sold and divided between you. You should be prepared for that.

    If you believe your husband is engaged in criminal acts, then why tolerate it?
  5. #5
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    May 2004
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    Quote Originally Posted by thersrud View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Colorado
    I've been married for 20 years. My husband is an alcoholic and used drugs before we got married. He stopped drinking and doing drugs 21 years ago when we moved away from bad family influences. However, whenever there were pain pills in the house he had a hard time staying away from them, and he is a hypochondriac and used any excuse to take prescription or OTC drugs. We had good jobs and made good money, and he always spent it all on cars and tools and showing off. He's a mechanic and got hurt at work 1 1/2 years ago and has since developed an additiction to oxycontin. He opened credit card accounts and got loans without my knowledge or approval and set up automatic payments from our joint account. His brother and girlfriend are addicts and my husband is now hanging around with them all the time. I've found pills in the house and seen text messages to them and new "friends" about buying and selling. He lost his job a couple months ago, he says due to not reporting an accident, but I wonder if he failed the drug test after the accident. He said Unemployment is investigating whether or not he's eligible for benefits, but I think he might be getting paid and just isn't telling me so he can spend the money. He pulled $75,000 from his retirement account last month without my approval, to buy a business and has lied to me 3 times about how much it was, and put it in a separate bank account that I can't access. I found papers yesterday showing how much he actually withdrew, and also that he didn't pay the taxes or penalties. He's already spent $15,000 of it in the last 6 weeks, plus I can document $70,000 he spent in the last year on cars and parts and cash withdrawals. I'm afraid he'll be arrested and everything will be seized. We own a nice home with a small mortgage vs. the value, and I don't want to lose it. I'm seeing an attorney next week to file for divorce, but how do I get him out of the house without stealing everything in it or changing the locks to keep me out. He doesn't work and could empty out the house while I'm at work. How do I prevent him from spending the rest of the money he pulled out, and buy him out of the house? His share of the house is about $90K, but can I deduct half of the amount of the cash he withdrew and half the amount of cash he spent the last year and then pay him the difference? Am I also liable for the taxes on the retirement account withdrawal, even if I file as married, filing separately? Can he try to get half of my retirement account even though I didn't benefit from his retirement account withdrawals? If I turn him ih I'm afraid that everything will be seized, so how can I make him leave?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
    As soon as he leaves he is going to go crazy spending the money that is still in the account. Therefore I would not let on to him at all that you are filing for divorce until you meet with the attorney and get explicit instructions from the attorney as to how to handle things.

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