my husband has a separation agreement with his first wife

[hopek]

I live in North carolina. My husband has a e separation agreement with his first wife. When they agreed. It was for him to write a will saying that when he dies. That there 3 children. Would sell the house and split the money. Well when he agreed to this he never thought. He would ever get married again. But he did he married me. I am 38. He is 55. We have to boys together. So when he dies are me and my boys gonna have to move out. Because of this agreement?

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by hopek

I live in North carolina. My husband has a e separation agreement with his first wife. When they agreed. It was for him to write a will saying that when he dies. That there 3 children. Would sell the house and split the money. Well when he agreed to this he never thought. He would ever get married again. But he did he married me. I am 38. He is 55. We have to boys together. So when he dies are me and my boys gonna have to move out. Because of this agreement?

Very possibly, yes. It may have been part of the property settlement. The ex may have given up her share in the home with the proviso that the entire home be left to their children, in his will.

Your husband can get life insurance to protect you and your sons.

[nextwife]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

Very possibly, yes. It may have been part of the property settlement. The ex may have given up her share in the home with the proviso that the entire home be left to their children, in his will.

Your husband can get life insurance to protect you and your sons.

So can the poster. She can buy sufficient life insurance herself on hubby to properly protect herself. Additionally, she can earn her own money, so that she's not in financial trouble if/when he cannot support her and her kids. He's 55 now, so by 10 years, she'll need to plan on being the main source of earned income.

They should consider selling that house now, settling up with his kids, and buying a different house as co buyers that would not be covered by the agreement.

[hopek]

One of my boys is mine and my husbands. And I came into the marriage. With my older son. And my husband adopted him. My husband has made an appointment to see what we can do. Because it is not right for my/our. Young children to be just kicked to the curb. His 3 kids are grown. I am just really just trying to. Figure out what exactly I need to ask the lawyer. My husband seems to think that there is nbothing to worry about. I just don't think it is that simple. And I have read the separation agreement. I just don't understand. I just want to feel safe. I have no problem with the kids selling the house. But I think that now since there dad has 2 more children that they should wait till I die and. Them split the house 5 ways instead of 3. His wife never cared about them kids. While she was screwing around on him for the last 10 years of there marriage. He not one time did her wrong. It is just not right.

[nextwife]

Originally Posted by hopek

One of my boys is mine and my husbands. And I came into the marriage. With my older son. And my husband adopted him. My husband has made an appointment to see what we can do. Because it is not right for my/our. Young children to be just kicked to the curb. His 3 kids are grown. I am just really just trying to. Figure out what exactly I need to ask the lawyer. My husband seems to think that there is nbothing to worry about. I just don't think it is that simple. And I have read the separation agreement. I just don't understand. I just want to feel safe. I have no problem with the kids selling the house. But I think that now since there dad has 2 more children that they should wait till I die and. Them split the house 5 ways instead of 3. His wife never cared about them kids. While she was screwing around on him for the last 10 years of there marriage. He not one time did her wrong. It is just not right.

Then BOTH of your boys are your husbands.



Look, I'm a second wife also, with an older husband that has grown kids from another marriage and an 11 year old child between us.

The way a second wife best protects HER children is by making sure she's accruing her own assets and own real estate interests, has her own ability to earn a sustainable income (because someday husband may either not be around, or not be able to) and has herself purchased sufficient life insurance policies on both herself and her husband so that her children are financially protected. Instead of trying to take away from the prior children. Remember, everything YOU own, earn, bring to the marriage is NOT at risk if you handle your and his estate planning properly.

See an estate planning attorney who also understands family law.

[mistoffolees]

Originally Posted by hopek

One of my boys is mine and my husbands. And I came into the marriage. With my older son. And my husband adopted him. My husband has made an appointment to see what we can do. Because it is not right for my/our. Young children to be just kicked to the curb.

Sorry, but you're just plain wrong.

First wife received something in the settlement on behalf of the children. Her children (your husband's children, too) are entitled to whatever the agreement specifies. Whether you like it or not is completely irrelevant.

It is now up to you and your husband to provide for your children. That does not give you the right to take away something that belongs to the other children - regardless of their ages. No one is taking anything away from your kids - the house was never theirs.

You need to sit down with your husband and do some serious financial planning on how you are going to provide for your kids. There are lots of options - big insurance policy, selling the house and paying off the other kids (as was suggested - although he'll need to get court approval and possibly the approval of the kids to do it because it is not what was specified in the decree) is a possibility. Moving to another house. There are lots of legitimate options for you. Trying to steal property from his other kids is not a reasonable financial plan.

[hopek]

I do not want nor am I trying to take anything away from his kids. I am simply saying that there should be away. That my kids don't get kicked out of there house. When and if my husband dies. And then when I die I will have a will. Stateing that the house is to be sold and split 5 ways not only 3. Because he has 5 kids now. Not 3. But we will figure something out. If we have to go to court about it then I guess that is what we will do. Because there are special circumstances as to why he can not conply to this agreement

[nextwife]

Originally Posted by hopek

I do not want nor am I trying to take anything away from his kids. I am simply saying that there should be away. That my kids don't get kicked out of there house. When and if my husband dies. And then when I die I will have a will. Stateing that the house is to be sold and split 5 ways not only 3. Because he has 5 kids now. Not 3. But we will figure something out. If we have to go to court about it then I guess that is what we will do. Because there are special circumstances as to why he can not conply to this agreement

This is not that hard. Just get a life policy or two sufficient to BUY a whole different, paid off house!!

[Zigner]

Originally Posted by hopek

I do not want nor am I trying to take anything away from his kids. I am simply saying that there should be away. That my kids don't get kicked out of there house. When and if my husband dies. And then when I die I will have a will. Stateing that the house is to be sold and split 5 ways not only 3. Because he has 5 kids now. Not 3. But we will figure something out. If we have to go to court about it then I guess that is what we will do. Because there are special circumstances as to why he can not conply to this agreement

It's not THEIR house.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by hopek

I do not want nor am I trying to take anything away from his kids. I am simply saying that there should be away. That my kids don't get kicked out of there house. When and if my husband dies. And then when I die I will have a will. Stateing that the house is to be sold and split 5 ways not only 3. Because he has 5 kids now. Not 3. But we will figure something out. If we have to go to court about it then I guess that is what we will do. Because there are special circumstances as to why he can not conply to this agreement

You very clearly DO want to take something away from his children. You want them to have to wait for their inheritance until YOU die, and then you want the house split 3 ways instead of 5.

Are you grasping that your husband may not have been able to keep the house at all without this agreement? That the judge might have ordered the house sold and the proceeds split with his ex?

Your husband has plenty of options to protect his second family. He doesn't have to do it by attempting to take away an asset that is court agreed/ordered to be inherited by the children from his first family.

[mistoffolees]

Originally Posted by hopek

I do not want nor am I trying to take anything away from his kids. I am simply saying that there should be away. That my kids don't get kicked out of there house. When and if my husband dies. And then when I die I will have a will. Stateing that the house is to be sold and split 5 ways not only 3. Because he has 5 kids now. Not 3. But we will figure something out. If we have to go to court about it then I guess that is what we will do. Because there are special circumstances as to why he can not conply to this agreement

Sorry, but your will is irrelevant because IT IS NOT YOUR HOUSE. Upon your husband's death, the house goes to his kids from the first marriage. Your kids have ZERO claim on the house and your will will have absolutely no more to do with it than if _I_ try to leave the house to my daughter in MY will.. The only way they might have a claim is if the divorce decree said that HIS children would share in the value of the house without specifying that it was referring to his kids from the first marriage. That is, however, very unlikely.

There is a very simple solution to this if you would get off your entrenched position that your kids have some claim on the house. Buy an insurance policy large enough to cover the cost of buying the house. When your husband dies, you collect the insurance policy and use it to buy the house so your kids can stay there and his kids from the first marriage get what they are owed.

Ideally, he would talk with them in advance to make sure they agree to this (did you ever stop to think that one of them might want the house they grew up in, too?). Your husband could reach an agreement with them that they would accept a certain amount of money. If they won't agree to that, your life will be easier if they can at least agree on how the value of the house will be determined.

He could also see if they would agree to sell their right to the house now rather than waiting for his death if you can afford to buy it.

But to work out any solution, you're going to have to stop this nonsense about your kids having any right to the house. They don't. As far as the law is concerned, their rights are no greater than if you were renting the house.

[thedoctorisin]

Your husband will need to go to court to see if the agreement can be changed. North Carolina judges have a fair amount of discretion under statute law to change future parts of a separation agreement.

[hopek]

Well I am sorry that I came into this forum. I did not come here. For people to be mean. To me I really had no clue about the situation. I am in or you say. It is. Not my situation. But anyway. I was just wanting advice. And some ideas. On what to do. About this I had no idea about. That it was even an agreement like that. So I will log out. And not come back. Because I am going through enough at this time. I don't want to be attacked no more.

[penelope10]

Originally Posted by hopek

Well I am sorry that I came into this forum. I did not come here. For people to be mean. To me I really had no clue about the situation. I am in or you say. It is. Not my situation. But anyway. I was just wanting advice. And some ideas. On what to do. About this I had no idea about. That it was even an agreement like that. So I will log out. And not come back. Because I am going through enough at this time. I don't want to be attacked no more.

No one has been mean or personally attacked you. It has been explained to you that the agreement might have been set up this way so that your current husband would retain the home without buying out his ex wife's portion. At the time of his death, that portion would go to their children.

At 55 years of age, and without any serious health issues, your current hubby should be able to buy life insurance, with you as the beneficiary, that would cover the cost of the current home. At that time you could either offer to buy out his former children, or buy yourself and the current children another home. You should also think about taking out a life insurance policy making your husband the beneficiary to take care of your children in case something should happen to you.

[mistoffolees]

Originally Posted by hopek

Well I am sorry that I came into this forum. I did not come here. For people to be mean. To me I really had no clue about the situation. I am in or you say. It is. Not my situation. But anyway. I was just wanting advice. And some ideas. On what to do. About this I had no idea about. That it was even an agreement like that. So I will log out. And not come back. Because I am going through enough at this time. I don't want to be attacked no more.

No one was mean to you. You came here for advice, got the advice and chose to reject it. The advice was repeated and you rejected it again.

Don't blame us for trying to explain things clearly enough for it to sink in when you keep ignoring everything you've been told.