My last name after a divorce

[mommabearx1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VA
My XH is going to be remarried within the next year. His girlfriend has apparentlly made a stink about me still having his last name. He asked me when he picked our daughter this past weekend. When was I going to change my last name back to my maiden name. I told him I wasn't going to for the simply fact that not only this been my last name for the past 7 years, but it is also my daughter's last name and I want to keep it. Well upon his return home to his ouse his GF hit the fan and called me leaving numerous nasty voicemails. I answered the phone the first time thinking it was our daughter or her father, but when I realized it washer i just hung up and didn't answer after that.
Main question I don't have to change my correct?

 

[ShyCat]

Tell them to pound sand or bite rocks or whatever you want. It's your name; you do not have to change it to make either of them happy.

 

[justalayman]

unless the ex husband petitioned to require you to change your name from his during the divorce, there is nothing he can do now. Yes, a person can request the other person be required to change their name in a divorce. It is granted in some cases. Generally they are dealing with famous people.

if the GF continues her tirade and harassing calls, I would either speak with the ex (if the relationship allows it) or speak with the prosecuting attorney in your area about a restraining order.

 

[LdiJ]

unless the ex husband petitioned to require you to change your name from his during the divorce, there is nothing he can do now. Yes, a person can request the other person be required to change their name in a divorce. It is granted in some cases. Generally they are dealing with famous people.

That is not accurate. A judge cannot and will not order someone to change their last name due to a divorce. Its THEIR last name. A judge will happily sign off on an agreement that the parties make to have the wife change her last name, but will NOT and cannot require it.

if the GF continues her tirade and harassing calls, I would either speak with the ex (if the relationship allows it) or speak with the prosecuting attorney in your area about a restraining order.

That is probably decent advice.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VA
My XH is going to be remarried within the next year. His girlfriend has apparentlly made a stink about me still having his last name. He asked me when he picked our daughter this past weekend. When was I going to change my last name back to my maiden name. I told him I wasn't going to for the simply fact that not only this been my last name for the past 7 years, but it is also my daughter's last name and I want to keep it. Well upon his return home to his ouse his GF hit the fan and called me leaving numerous nasty voicemails. I answered the phone the first time thinking it was our daughter or her father, but when I realized it washer i just hung up and didn't answer after that.
Main question I don't have to change my correct?

No, you absolutely do not need to change your last name, and it makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever why new spouses or ex's get into such an uproar about a freaking last name.

 

[justalayman]

That is not accurate. A judge cannot and will not order someone to change their last name due to a divorce. Its THEIR last name. A judge will happily sign off on an agreement that the parties make to have the wife change her last name, but will NOT and cannot require it.



That is probably decent advice.

I would have to hunt it up but there have been some famous people that did argue that the ex maintaining the family name would be improper. I am nearly sure the request was granted.

 

[mommabearx1]

Thanks that's what I thought. This is being brought up because something was said by my ex- mother in law at the Thanksgiving Dinner about all of this and that's when GF's little mind started turning. He doesn't want anymore children either and this was brought up at the dinner as well, about how I have his children and last name, and that will never change. Great mom huh??
Thank again for the advice

 

[LdiJ]

I would have to hunt it up but there have been some famous people that did argue that the ex maintaining the family name would be improper. I am nearly sure the request was granted.

Please find case law and cite it, because a judge ordering a last name change against the will of the person would be a gross violation of their constitutional rights.

 

[You Are Guilty]

If it were me, I'd go file a petition to legally change my MIDDLE name to "(Insert GF's Name Here) Has Fleas" (or something similar), then send her a copy of the published notification for Christmas.

Screw them!

 

[mommabearx1]

If it were me, I'd go file a petition to legally change my MIDDLE name to "(Insert GF's Name Here) Has Fleas" (or something similar), then send her a copy of the published notification for Christmas.

Screw them!

LOL I could send it to my X MIL and have her use it for the gf's table seat, no??
please don't tempt me I have a hard time controlling myself as it is!! IE: Choice of husband Just kidding.

 

[justalayman]

Please find case law and cite it, because a judge ordering a last name change against the will of the person would be a gross violation of their constitutional rights.

All I remember is is was a famous person and it was requested the wife be required to drop the surname of the husband. Not sure if it made it through court or not.

as to constitutional rights? since when is a specific name a constitutional right. There are many instances when a person was denied a name change. I would see no more right to maintain a name that actually had no link to that person other than they were married to a famous guy.

 

[LdiJ]

All I remember is is was a famous person and it was requested the wife be required to drop the surname of the husband. Not sure if it made it through court or not.

as to constitutional rights? since when is a specific name a constitutional right. There are many instances when a person was denied a name change. I would see no more right to maintain a name that actually had no link to that person other than they were married to a famous guy.

Like I said, it can be requested and agreed upon, but it is not something that a judge has the power to order against the person's will.

Once it became their name, it is THEIR name. It is not property that the "famous person" can bestow and then take back.

I don't intend to debate this issue with you. It has been clarified to the nth degree on these forums and I see no need to repeat it.

 

[deshman]

Just speaking from experience on this one, and no offense intended to the original poster...

My husband's ex-wife kept his name after they were divorced. She even went as far as to keep that name when she married her NEW husband (no hyphen or anything, just the last name of her ex husband), and he knows she does not get along with her ex and vice versa. (the new husband is now divorcing her, but not because of the last name thing, though we all know it bothered him).
She thinks by keeping it, it bothers him, but it doesn't.
We have just come to know her as another "(insert last name here)" in the world.

 

[VeronicaLodge]

well if they had children together i see nothing wrong or odd about wanting to maintain the same last name as your children. i dont see why a name would be so irksome to anyone.

 

[pikantari]

I wanted to change my name back to my maiden and they would not allow it. I used to live in Virginia during my marriage. I was told that I can only change it if I ask for it in the divorce decree. Beyond that, I suppose, unless I remarry, they said it has to stay the same.

Sounds crazy to me.