My ex did similar things… opened accounts only in his name, put money in accounts in his mother’s name, made mortgage payments in his mother’s and father’s homes (his name in on their deeds). And while he was moving marital assets into these secret places… he was in med school and I was supporting him, our son and myself. So it was basically the money I earned running my business that he was stashing.
I never found it all (he stole a LOT from me)… but I did find a lot of it. I just started checking his papers, his car, etc every chance I got. The trash is a treasure trove of such things… people just don’t think about what they toss. He was furious in the divorce when I produced a great paper trail and had most of what he had moved become part of the divorce settlement.
I appreciate your replies. My wife ran my once flawless credit into the ground with credit cards sent to her parents office address.
Were the cards in your name? Is that how they affected your credit?
If you can show in the divorce that she got cards in your name and then hid them from you by having them go to her parent’s addy, she might get stuck with all that debt.
From experience there are things you can do to protect yourself. .. These all worked for me.
Put in a change of address form for YOURSELF (do not mark the ‘family’ box as we don’t want mail fraud here) at the address of her parent’s business and any other place she receives mail. That way if she is having credit cards and other things in your name go there you can find out.
Rent a mail box (Mail Boxes, Etc will do ). This way you can have all of your mail go to a place that is safe from her.
Since she got in your safe… I guess she has access to your home. Rent a very small storage space.. I had a 5x5ft room in one of those climate controlled places. One where only the person whose name was on the lease and whose photo they had could enter the facility. A couple of shelves, file boxes, and a chair… I was able to keep important papers where my than husband could not get them…. That where I kept paper trail I put together of his stashed marital assets. Move your safe to your storage space.
One way to find out her bank accounts might be to order cancelled checks from your bank that you believe where cashed at her bank… her account numbers might be on the back of those checks.
She stashed my BMW, that was registered in my name only, at her new cop boyfriend's house. When I reported it stolen, this cop sent his buddies to my house and insinuated charges of terroristic threats... yet no police report was made and there is no record of me calling in nor them being dispatched.
Did you get your car back?
I'll chalk it up to lesson learned. As it stands, she'll most likely have to pay me alimony.
Why? How long have you been married? How many children do you have? What kind of jobs/careers do each of you have? Have you been staying home playing full time dad and house keeper to support her I in her career? What would be your claim to alimony?
She drained all accounts and left me with nothing. She was kind enough to take only one of our three dogs. I should be thankful.
People just get mean when they leave a marriage… it’s as though the only way they can get themselves to leave is if they manufacture a crisis. If you can build a good paper trail and proof of what she has done, the assets are still there… they still belong to both of you.
