I e-mailed you back, but will post here as well. NO, it does not make you a bad mom because you don’t have *custody*. What is that anyway? Who is the state to determine that children are property & one needs to have *custody* of their own children? Why should the state determine how much separated/divorced parents should pay for their own children when they don’t do so for intact families? Okay, off that soapbox for now. Even with your combined incomes it wouldn’t be a holiday raising three children in this area. Even if he paid you 50% of his income you would be hard pressed to make ends meet. At least (for what it’s worth) he has free rent living with his parents. You both should obtain some additional education in order to raise these children without outside help.
I am uncertain how the judge would see you taking the children one at a time for overnights. If you lived closer, perhaps this would be an option, but that is 14 exchanges in 7 days. Can’t tell you how the judge would rule & why I gave you the link to the parenting plan (it gives you a general idea).
I highly suggest that you keep insurance on the children. For one it’s really cheap! We pay 3x as much! Second, you would get the EOB (estimation of benefits). This lets you know when the children are taken to which doctor & for what reason. Also how much of a co-pay ect. will be due.
If this is your first mediation, it could just be orientation. You go, listen then make a date with your ex & the mediator. There will be about 40 other couples there. Sit in the back.
If this is your first court date, it could be pre-trail to determine temporary orders. In which case it will be pretty quick. However, do be prepared to wait the better part of the day.
Best of luck to you!
KAT