Need Advice

State MD


I am not legally married to my husband. I am his second wife. His first wife, kids and his other family members know me and my
status well. We lived in my country without any problem, until he
got a job in the USA. Only his first wife and his kids could go
with him because of their legal status. Few years ago I went to
the USA as a visitor. At the port of entry, I was given 6 months visa and later got it extended for another 6 months.

During my stay in the USA, I got job offer and so, I came back to home country to get my H1B visa stamped. But my visa application was turned down. Later I applied twice for visitor visa and both the times it was rejected. It is 3 years since my visa was rejected first. Though my husband visits India once a year, I somehow want to come over to the USA and at least live in his presence and care. He too feels the same.

Is there any chance for me to come to the USA? I am told that bigamy is not allowed in the USA. Now, I may have to come on my own status. But I am not getting a suitable job that would take me to the USA.

My only solution is , I should come as his legal wife. Is it possible for him to get divorce from his first wife under mutual understanding (She agrees to giev divorce to take me there) and marry me legally and take me as his spouse? I hope it is possible, but is it possible for his first wife to stay in the same house after the divorce? I don;t want her to be staying away from us, as she too came to live with my husband.

We want to go for this option only because we don;t have any other solutions. Is there a way for me to join him as a dependent? In a land where same sex marriages are allowed, I
wonder why bigamy is illegal when the first wife doesn’t have any objection. Is there any other way that you think we should have tried?

PLEASE help me.

Sai, don't get these people started on same-sex marriages. Despite what you may be hearing on the news, they are NOT allowed in the majority of the US.

To answer your question, your 'husband' can get a divorce from his legal wife (remember - only one allowed in this country), marry you, and go through the process of bringing you to the US. The (now) ex-wife can still live under your roof, but she cannot represent herself as the wife, and your husband will probably be responsible for child support and alimony to her, regardless of the fact that she's living in the same home. Also, has she become a permanent resident alien yet?

Thank you for your reply.

Yes, my husband's first wife and 2 kids all got Green Card.

If he marry me now, he could take me as his legal wife, isn't it? I hope the waiting period is more, but we have no other choice.

Once again thank you for your reply.

Mr.Ramoth,

Do you have any idea about whom we need to contact, with to proceed the case? Is it advisible for my husband to discuss the actual reason (that, he is going to re-marry me) with an attorney? Will they encourage to proceed, knowing that he is going to have even his first wife under the same roof?

If you know any good lawyers in Maryland, could you give their contact details to me?

Thanks

[stealth2]

Do you honestly expect people to help you figure out how to finagle your way around our country's immigration laws?

Does it mean, we shoudln't discuss about the reason to the attorney?

[stealth2]

No, not at all. I think your husband should be completely up front with an immigration attorney about how he intends to fraudulently divorce his first wife and marry you so as to bring you to the US to essentially live in a bigamous relationship together. Honesty is the best policy.

I don't know if others are just playing, when one ask for some solution for their problem. Only people who could understand others feeling, could help others.

I want only real and proper replies for my problem. Please don't give wrong solution.

Thank you for posting replies for my query.

[stealth2]

I am being completely serious. What astounds me, however, is that you honestly think people are going to help you circumvent our country's immigration laws.

Sorry, I think you have mistaken me.

We are not intent on cheating your country law or anything like that, but I am betting my life on that. I, somehow, want to join my husband and I have no other choice to come there. If I get a work, I could come there and stay there with my own status, isn't it?

I am realy surprised that law allows a person to marry any time, after getting any number of divorces, but it doesn't allow a girl to live with a man till her life time, without leaving him. It is something...... that cannot be explained and others can not understand.

Anyhow, since I want to be honest, I asked like that.

Laws are there to protect the people, sometimes it destroys few life, like mine. I do understand, that if law allows this, then many people will start making business by bringing others for money.

I really appreciate your replies.

[stealth2]

It's known as a cultural difference. I have no doubt that if, for example, I were to want to live in your country, there would be things that I could not do. It is up to ME to do what I need to conform to your laws and cultural requirements. Not for your country to adapt itself to my expectations.

I didn't expect the law should be changed for my sake. But I am worried , as there is no hope for me to be there with my family. So I asked for the suggestion from people as you know your country law better than others. Even my country law never allow 2 marriages at a time.

Can you please guide me, what am I to do to come there? IF there is any other way for me to come there? If there is no way, we need to go for the divorce process only. I need few clarification in that:

1. How to file divorce under "no fault" ground?
2. Is it enough any one of them (husband or wife) file the divorce or both should file together?
3. Should the husband mention that his wife could be share the house till she gets a job (she is qualified person to get work).
4. They have 2 kids and my husband would take care of their expenses, and both the parents share the kids.

I hope by now you would've understood my problem and let us assume that my husband is just going for divorce from his wife under no fault" ground.

Your valuable advice would help me to be with him soon.

Can anyone help me? Please, post your replies for my question.

Mr.Ramoth, do you have any suggestions? Please post it.

It's Ms Ramoth, not Mr.

You provided a very important piece of information in you next-to-the-last post. You are not legally married in your own country. This isn't your husband you want to join - it's your boyfriend.

Quite frankly, after 9-11-01 it's going to be a lot harder for you to get your boyfriend to divorce his wife, travel to your country, marry you, then bring you to the US as a dependant. It would probably be a lot faster for you to get a Visa and come here under your own power.

[Grace_Adler]

I agree. You can try to get a job to work here and see if they will allow the Visa.

However, I will answer your other questions or concerns.

People are allowed to divorce and remarry many times here because the difference is, when people divorce here, they usually go on and live seperate lives in seperate households and do not resume their relationship as husband and wife at any time. There are some exceptions when some people get divorced, decide the divorce was a mistake and get remarried. The point of it is, you can only have one spouse at one time. It is supposed to be monogamous. (I know I probably misspelled that word.)

People are not allowed to have more than one husband or wife at a time. It is only permitted to have one spouse and you are supposed to remain faithful to them. Most people here do not believe in having more than one spouse. It is considered immoral by most.

I hope that makes it more clear. You can go through as many spouses as you want but you can't have them all at the same time. You pick one person and stay faithful and loyal to them while you are with them.

As for the other part, yes he can divorce her and legally marry you, after the divorce. If neither of you have a problem with her living there with the two of you, then that is up to you. There is no law that says she can't stay there. That will be up to you and him.

The best thing to do is to set up an appointment with a family law attorney in the area he lives in and discuss it with the attorney. The names and numbers to the attorneys can be found in the telephone book where he lives.

Remember, you are not his legal wife until he divorces his current wife and legally marries you.