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iselak77

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 9 years now, we have a beautiful son together he will be turning 5 soon. I have decided to separate from my boyfriend because we are not getting along. We constantly fight, he belittles me in front of my son, and he tells my son I’m worthless and that he’s both mom and dad. One of the reason’s of our separation is that he’s an alcoholic, his family and I were about to perform an intervention but before we could he stopped cold turkey, thank god. But now our relationship has tanked, I asked him about counseling for the both of us but he refuses. The situation is I work from 9-5, Monday thru Friday; I provide medical insurance and pay half the bills. He works two nights a week at a night club. Our child is in pre-school from 7am to 6pm Mon-Fri. We rent a home but just recently found out that the owners will be selling the house so we must move. Before deciding to part ways I want to know about my rights. It’s not that I don’t want him to see his father I just don’t want to fight in front of our son anymore. I know we can come to an agreement but when we talk about it we argue. I even asked him if we can talk in front of a professional mediator but he refuses. He only points out the negative in me, the fact that I work 9-5pm, and if I’m not home by 6 he’s calling me on the phone asking for my whereabouts when I’m stuck in traffic. I found a place for my son and I, I even told his father that I will be out by the end of the month. He just laughs and says, yeah right.


Do I have to have written consent from him to have custody of our son? Can I legally move out with my son? Do I have to file a legal separation even if we are not married? I just don’t know what to do.
 
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CourtClerk

Senior Member
Why is this in the divorce forum? You two aren't married, you're just shacking. In order to be legally separated, you must have a legal relationship. Girlfriend isn't it.

Therefore, you can move with your child if you'd like to. He can sue you for custody.
 

iselak77

Junior Member
Why is this in the divorce forum? You two aren't married, you're just shacking. In order to be legally separated, you must have a legal relationship. Girlfriend isn't it.

Therefore, you can move with your child if you'd like to. He can sue you for custody.

New to this site, I will re-post thanks!
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Why is this in the divorce forum? You two aren't married, you're just shacking. In order to be legally separated, you must have a legal relationship. Girlfriend isn't it.

Therefore, you can move with your child if you'd like to. He can sue you for custody.
Well, it's in the divorce forum because that's where custody issues are usually asked. That needs to be resolved one way or another. Depending on circumstances, moving out without his permission might or might not be the best move. More details needed.
 

CourtClerk

Senior Member
Except there is specifically a forum just for child custody issues!
Exactly....

And I disagree that (at least in CA), moving out without his permission would cause any other problems. She doesn't need his permission to do ANYTHING. He doesn't have papers on her, she doesn't have them on him. She can do what she wants, and until there is a custody order specifically saying otherwise, she can take the child and move. Just like he can. What she can't and shouldn't do is CONCEAL the child.
 

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