Need Advice: Child Custody Issue

My exwife who has residential custody of our daughter, age 8, let the child move from Kansas to Washington State with a friend of hers (the exwife) in June of 2001. She had first said that she would follow to Washington in November of the same year. She now has decided not to move to Washington, but my daughter is still living in Washington, now with my parents. Over the Christmas holiday the friend told us that she wants to adopt my daughter. I said, no, she belongs with me. My exwife is still in Kansas, we don't have a current address. She was supposed to be getting caught up on her bills, last we knew she was living with a friend. This whole time she has been getting the child support payments from me each month. I am currently in the service and stationed in Germany with my family. How can I get custody of my 8 year old daughter. Is this considered abandonment on the exwife's part.