marylandmom said:
I am a mother of one and I live in Maryland. I am seriously considering filing for a seperation after 10 years of marriage. I am totally confused and have an enormous amount of anxiety over all of this. I have several questions and was hoping that someone out there has any suggestions or has been through this themselves that they can offer any advice which i would be considerable grateful for. I guess my main concern is when I plan on actually seperating from my spouse, I wish to leave state and move with my child. I am worried about legal issues that go with that. I know that custody will be a big deal with my spouse. I have already decided that I don't want any of the property, I don't even want child support, I just want out. We also have a business which is in my name that i would like to sign over to him as well. When i say, I want out and want to get away, that is all i want. I want this to be a civil as possible and I am so tired of fighting. The funny thing is, its not like he is cheating, I am not cheating...its just that i have changed. he is an alcoholic and I can no longer live with his lifestyle. after all of these years together, 15 in all, I am just tired. He I think is suspecting. I am afraid not of the actual move, just about where to begin with all of this. I plan on leaving around June this year. Any advice? help!
Ok, the first thing that you need to realize is that things have changed a great deal in the last 15 years. It will not be easy, and may not be possible for you to move out of state and take your child with you. Dad can definitely contest that move and it would be up to you to prove, in court, that it would be the best thing for the child.
You also need to realize that it is neither wise, nor even in your child's best interest, for you to walk away from the marriage simply leaving all of the property in his hands. Your financial life it tied up in all that property, (the debts too) and without a decent credit report you will struggle in the future.
Therefore you really can't just walk away without making sure that you are no longer legally liable to the creditors..not just via a divorce, but with the creditors themselves, because they won't be a party to the divorce.
If there are loans for assets, then he must be able to refinance those loans in his own name...or the assets need to be sold and the net proceeds distributed between the two of you.
Let me tell you the worst case scenario...because its happened to people. They walk away from property in a divorce....their bitter ex-spouse stops paying the bills and the property goes into foreclosure. What happens in that the person who walked away ends up getting stuck with the debt...when they didn't even get any of the property of the marriage....so they end up in bankruptcy.
So please, don't let the fact that you are "tired" make you do things in a foolish way.
