Need to know my rights/options

[cyclegirl]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

I have a lot of questions, so thank you in advance to anyone who helps!

My stbx and I were married for 5 1/2 years and have been wanting to get divorced for about 9 months now. We still live together, although we sleep in separate rooms and basically live separate lives. We have a 2 1/2 y/o son together. I was a SAHM until just recently, I finally got a job in June. I don't make a lot of money, but I got my foot in the door, and I am very happy there.

STBX and I were mostly in agreement about everything as far as living arrangements, custody, belongings, and child support until recently. He found a "graphic picture" that someone had sent me in my cell phone and he flipped. (he has been dating someone since April or May,even though he won't admit it)

Ok, so i know I should have deleted the pic before he had a chance to see it, but I had no idea he would go through my phone. Now, he is saying I will get NOTHING and refuses to give me anything. He hired an attorney awhile back to help with the paperwork (nothing has been filed yet), but like I said, I just started my job, so i do not have enough money to hire one at this time (And I have NOBODY to help me).

STBX wants me to move out, without our son, and find a place to live. We have a house in HIS name only (because I had a previous bankruptcy) but we bought if after we were married. All the furniture was purchased after marriage, and he has a restaurant that he bought after we were married. Do I legally have a right to any of this? He is saying he won't let me take any furniture and will only give me what the court says I get for child support. He also says I can't move to a "crappy place" with our son. I don't expect a lot, but some furniture would be very helpful.

Can I get an attorney without ANY money? If I have to pay for a new place all on my own, i am going to need to save ALL of my money for that (an even then it's going to be rough), so I feel very torn.

Also, lastly, can he do anything about the pic he found in my phone???? He said he's going to use it against me to show what a sl*t I am...which I am not, but he has texted me over and over calling me a sl*t. He said I shouldn't do things like that since I am a mother.


Thanks so much!!

 

[Ohiogal]

Don't move out.
Call legal aid and ask for representation.
You are entitled to a share of marital assets and debt.
Who has been the primary caregiver of your son?
If you ever leave do NOT LEAVE WITHOUT YOUR CHILD. He cannot force you out of the marital residence without a court order.

If he has a girlfriend or girlfriends then he should not be casting stones.

 

[cyclegirl]

Don't move out.
Call legal aid and ask for representation.
You are entitled to a share of marital assets and debt.
Who has been the primary caregiver of your son?
If you ever leave do NOT LEAVE WITHOUT YOUR CHILD. He cannot force you out of the marital residence without a court order.

If he has a girlfriend or girlfriends then he should not be casting stones.

Thanks for the quick response

Can I get legal aid? i was told by an attorney that I would not qualify since there are marital assets, so it was like I was stuck...

I have been the primary caregiver of our son...


thanks again!

 

[Ohiogal]

Thanks for the quick response

Can I get legal aid? i was told by an attorney that I would not qualify since there are marital assets, so it was like I was stuck...

I have been the primary caregiver of our son...


thanks again!

But you left your son with your spouse? Hence you are no longer primary caregiver. So move back in.
As for whether you qualify or not ASK LEGAL AID! They will tell you. Other attorneys can guess. Legal aid will KNOW.

 

[cyclegirl]

But you left your son with your spouse? Hence you are no longer primary caregiver. So move back in.
As for whether you qualify or not ASK LEGAL AID! They will tell you. Other attorneys can guess. Legal aid will KNOW.

NO! I haven't moved out!! He just WANTS me to leave. I will NEVER leave without my son!!!

 

[mistoffolees]

Thanks for the quick response

Can I get legal aid? i was told by an attorney that I would not qualify since there are marital assets, so it was like I was stuck...

Ask legal aid - don't rely on what someone else tells you. If legal aid says they can't help you, then find an attorney who will petition the court to be paid out of marital assets.

DO NOT MOVE OUT OF THE HOUSE - you could seriously jeopardize your chance of getting primary custody (not guaranteed even if you stay, but moving out makes it worse). You are entitled to stay there as long as you want - even if only his name is on the mortgage or deed. It's still your marital home.

As for the picture, there are several issues:
1. If it's illegal (kiddie porn), it could be a serious problem.
2. If it is pornographic and was something that a child could have come across, it could be a problem, although with a 2 1/2 year old, that doesn't seem too likely.

Other than that, it plays toward maturity and who can provide the better moral environment for the child - but if he has a girlfriend while you're still married, I don't think that argument will fly.

On both subjects (the picture and his girlfriend), remember that the court is interested in what either of you can prove. Allegations don't count.

 

[cyclegirl]

Ask legal aid - don't rely on what someone else tells you. If legal aid says they can't help you, then find an attorney who will petition the court to be paid out of marital assets.

DO NOT MOVE OUT OF THE HOUSE - you could seriously jeopardize your chance of getting primary custody (not guaranteed even if you stay, but moving out makes it worse). You are entitled to stay there as long as you want - even if only his name is on the mortgage or deed. It's still your marital home.

As for the picture, there are several issues:
1. If it's illegal (kiddie porn), it could be a serious problem.
2. If it is pornographic and was something that a child could have come across, it could be a problem, although with a 2 1/2 year old, that doesn't seem too likely.

Other than that, it plays toward maturity and who can provide the better moral environment for the child - but if he has a girlfriend while you're still married, I don't think that argument will fly.

On both subjects (the picture and his girlfriend), remember that the court is interested in what either of you can prove. Allegations don't count.

Thanks for the info.

The pic was definitely not kiddie porn or anything illegal, and of course I have now deleted it, so is there anyway he can go back and get it?? If not, how could he prove it? Just want to make sure I'm okay with that. I know that he received text messages from his girlfriend that were graphic, but I never saw any pictures. So we're both guilty in that aspect.

 

[mistoffolees]

Thanks for the info.

The pic was definitely not kiddie porn or anything illegal, and of course I have now deleted it, so is there anyway he can go back and get it?? If not, how could he prove it? Just want to make sure I'm okay with that. I know that he received text messages from his girlfriend that were graphic, but I never saw any pictures. So we're both guilty in that aspect.

First, he may have forwarded the picture to his email when he was looking at your phone. That would give him traceability.

More likely, he can testify that he saw the picture on your phone. His attorney will then put you on the stand and ask you if there was a picture of whatever on your phone and you will have to answer it truthfully or you would be guilty of perjury.

So it may well come out. But if it was not illegal, and if he's got a girlfriend while still married to you, I really doubt if he's going to be able to get anywhere with it.