Need Second Opinion

[zyra]

What is the name of your state? VA

I was told by an attorney, that i could leave my house and move out of state (to make a long story short). the house is not in my name only my husbands. My husband left the house but wants to return and i can't stop him. His return will make life very unfavorable for everyone involved, he's a miserable person. the attorney said i could leave and nothing will be jepordized. i planned to move out of state and was told it would be just fine. What are the feelings or advice of other attorneys in Virginia?

 

[tigger22472]

Are there children involved? IF so and you leave the state he can order you back or file for custody.. it's his right. The lawyer gave you some bad advice. YOu CAN leave the state with the kids but I wouldn't put down stakes until you get permission from a judge to do so.

 

[zyra]

bad advice? ugh... i hate having to trust someone else to know what's right but they might not always be... so i should not leave? there is one child involved. the thing is that i have no family or friends here. we moved here bec we were military and now my husbands left us. any more advice out there? i'd like to hear from as many experienced people or attorneys as possible.
thanks!

 

[tigger22472]

Should you leave?? That's a question you need to answer. If it were me?? I would stay until a judge ordered me to leave and then state your case asking to take the child out of the state right then. Dad can fight it but just because he does doesn't mean he'll win. Be prepared to show how even from the other state dad can have a lasting and close relationship and you will look better. I'm not sure if Virginia is a community property state. Did he own the house before the marriage? How long have you been married? I'm assuming the child is his. No one can tell you what a judge WILL do... only what can happen.

 

[stealth2]

Here's the deal... You can do what you like - leave, not leave, etc. However, there are consequences to some of those choices.

If you leave by yourself and leave the kid with Dad - you can pretty well kiss the idea of custody goodbye as he will claim you abandoned the child.

If you leave with the child and move out of state, you would have to wait until you established residency in that state before being able to file - your husband could, however, file in VA that same day. Not only would you be required to return to VA for court proceedings, you would have to retain a VA attorney, and the child could be ordered back to VA. So you'd either have to move back or the child would go to Dad, again jeopardizing your getting custody.

You *could* move out and stay in the area, with the child, and file yourself for divorce, custody, etc.

Or you could file for divorce and just hang tight. That's what my ex & I did, and while it was a very uncomfortable 4 months (until we had a temporary order), it was manageable.

But I would be talking to other attorneys. The one you spoke to - is his/her primary area of law divorce/custody? I'd guess not.

 

[zyra]

Well that's a really scary reply bec i've already retained this attorney, who claims to have 12yrs in this field. She is the one that told me to move out of state and the will file the next day after i leave. the reason i'm leaving is bec the man is verbally abusive and my being a house wife the entire time has left me w/ no real friends in our area that will help us. also since we were military, neither my husband nor i have family here. i'm moving to a state where not only my family resides, but my husbands as well. we will be staying w/ family members who offered support and assistance in our time of need. i would never leave my child behind w/ anyone. according to the attorney, if he tried to block my leave, chances are the judge won't do anything bec i'm already gone and have no assistance in VA which is true and why i am leaving to begin w/. i have no help here from anyone, no money, hard time finding a job etc... he's also moving into the house again and that alone will be unbearable.
what to do, what to do?????
thanks for the advice, it's much apprciated.

 

[OnlyOneVoice]

Zyra:

Is the residence on military post? IF it is you have not choice but to move.

 

[zyra]

No,we are no longer military. As it turns out, he's decided not to move into the house (i won't bother asking why ) So i'll be staying here after all !! yeay !! thanks to all for your assistance !! i'm sure i'll need more help in the near future for i am going through this divorce.