Need some advice please!

[Craft502]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia

Hi, Two years ago my husband and I were having problems, basically because my father left me an inheritance and he was coming up with lots of ways to spend it, new Harley, new truck, etc. We had two houses, one in which we live in and have a mortgage, second house is a rental in which I paid off. My husband said at that time he wanted a divorce and wanted me to leave. I offered him $30,000. for him to sign over both properties to me and he agreed. We went to an attorney and had the deeds put in my name only. He also demanded I go to an attorney and have separation papers drawn up, which I did, then he refused to sign them. He did leave and was gone for a few months. He started calling me telling me what a mistake he had made and wanted it to work out. We were getting along pretty good until I got a job last Oct. He didn't want me to work and made it clear every evening I came in. He would keep me awake all night every night and kept telling me that he just couldn't handle me working. So stupid me, l quit because I stayed so worked up having to listen to him when I came in. Now our relationship is worse than ever, he has always been totally against me working, doesn't want me to have friends, wants me to wait on him hand and foot, but he can do anything he wants, has tons of buddies, etc. Its impossible to try and talk to him about anything, his response is, Shut up or Ill shut you up. I am just really tired of living like this and would like to know if I can force him to leave because the houses are solely in my name? Since, Im not working I have no income coming in, the rental house I have is not rentable and because I own properties would I be able to get any financial assistance. PS the two vechiles we have are in just his name and he wont let me drive them. Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated, at this point I dont know in which direction to turn. Whats the cheapest way to get a separation and Divorce, we have two sons that are over 21. Thanks in advance

 

[mistoffolees]

Since you let him move into the house with you, it's the marital home, so you can't just throw him out. You need to file for divorce and ask the court to award you possession of the home. Even though the homes are only in your name, I don't think you're going to be able to keep him from getting some portion of the equity.

Short answer?

Get a job and hire an attorney.

 

[LdiJ]

Since you let him move into the house with you, it's the marital home, so you can't just throw him out. You need to file for divorce and ask the court to award you possession of the home. Even though the homes are only in your name, I don't think you're going to be able to keep him from getting some portion of the equity.

Short answer?

Get a job and hire an attorney.

I agree...you absolutely NEED an attorney...and a job, but right now the attorney is critical.

Your financial affairs are so mixed up that you need an attorney to help you sort through everything.

Find a way to come up with the money for an attorney.

 

[Craft502]

Property

Thanks for replying. So, I cannot make him leave the home, I thought I was safe there being that the deeds were transferred over to me and an agreement was written up thru an attorney. Thanks for educating me on that. As of now, he is not aware that he has any rights to the houses. If I go get a job and he starts harrassing me without actually laying a hand on me is there anything that I can legally do about that? Do I have a legal right to drive one of his vechiles, one in which he bought for me but titled it in his name? He told me not to drive his vechiles, he is doing this to try and make it impossible for me to be able to go look for work. He is very controlling! What would be my chances for getting supprt after divorce? We have been together for 24 years and married for 17 of those years. During all these years, he has refused to let me work. Took me along time to figure it out, but I now realize, no job equals no money which leaves me totally dependant on him. A took my marriage vows seriously, but Im tired of living in his hell.

 

[mistoffolees]

Thanks for replying. So, I cannot make him leave the home, I thought I was safe there being that the deeds were transferred over to me and an agreement was written up thru an attorney. Thanks for educating me on that. As of now, he is not aware that he has any rights to the houses. If I go get a job and he starts harrassing me without actually laying a hand on me is there anything that I can legally do about that? Do I have a legal right to drive one of his vechiles, one in which he bought for me but titled it in his name? He told me not to drive his vechiles, he is doing this to try and make it impossible for me to be able to go look for work. He is very controlling! What would be my chances for getting supprt after divorce? We have been together for 24 years and married for 17 of those years. During all these years, he has refused to let me work. Took me along time to figure it out, but I now realize, no job equals no money which leaves me totally dependant on him. A took my marriage vows seriously, but Im tired of living in his hell.

Again, the vehicles are marital vehicles. You can drive them.

If he interferes with your work, you can get a restraining order even if there's no physical harm.

You're going to need to develop a backbone, though. He didn't REFUSE to let you work unless he held a gun to your head. Maybe he would have made your life uncomfortable. Maybe it would have led to divorce earlier. Maybe you would have had to deal with a lot of yelling. But you always had the choice to work and you chose not to. YOU made that choice, not him.

After 17 year of marriage (the years you were together before you were married are irrelevant), then you're in the range where spousal support (alimony) could well apply. Whether you get it depends on relative incomes (or, if you're not working yet, the court can impute an income to you) and a number of other factors. Alimony will be temporary (rule of thumb in many states is 1/3 to 1/4 the length of the marriage, but it varies), but could help you get back on your feet. You will also be entitled to half of marital assets and half of marital debt.

But meanwhile, you need to do 2 things:
- Get a job as fast as you can
- See an attorney