O/T Humor

[BL]

What is the name of your state?

Disappearing Wife

A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.

When He finally appeared at home, Sunday Night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.

Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him. "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"

To which he replied. "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

 

[moburkes]

That's cute!

 

[boatnote]

What is the name of your state?

Disappearing Wife

A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.

When He finally appeared at home, Sunday Night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.

Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him. "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"

To which he replied. "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

No, that's funny rat tear. I onte care who yar!

 

[BL]

No, that's funny rat tear. I onte care who yar!

No, that's funny rat tear. I onte care who yar!

Halarious !!

Dayvorce
The farmer went into a lawyer's office and said, "I want one of them there dayvorces."
The lawyer said, "Do you have grounds?"

The farmer said, "Yes, I have 140 acres."

The lawyer said, "No you don't understand. Do you have a case?"

The farmer said, "No, I have a John Deere."

The lawyer said, "You still don't understand. Do you have a grudge?"

The farmer said, "Yes, that's what I park my John Deere under every night."

The lawyer said, "You still don't understand. Do you have a suit?"

The farmer said, "Yes, I wear it to church every Sunday."

The lawyer said, "Does she beat you up?"

The farmer said, "No, we both get up about 4:30 every morning."

The lawyer said, "Is she a nagger?"

The farmer said, "No, she's a little ol' white gal, but the last youngen' she had was a nagger. That's why I want a dayvorce."

_____________

Driving Etiquette
Proper Redneck Ways To Behave While Driving
Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.
When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
Never tow another car using pantyhose and duct tape.
When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.
Do not remove the seats from the car so that all your kids can fit in.
Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.

Ok , I'm done ....