opposite sex siblings sharing a room?

[Litigation!]

Step children sharing a room is a higher risk than biological although both are still a risk.

The best answer is still not mentioned. Ownership of Self. Have a few discussions with both children that any person's private parts can only be touched by the Self. Show / point where private areas are, most importantly, genitalia.

Yes and try not to make it sound shameful.

Be specific like, nobody else can touch your own privates: not Mommy, not Daddy, not Siblings, not Stanger, not Friends. No one. And the Action to take, if it happens, is to tell an adult like mommy, daddy, police etc.

Curiosity, all siblings are at least curious when growing up. Desire or curiosity happens, but touching and penetration is wrong.

COMMUNICATE - family must communicate
Next listen, have each child repeat what you just told them to verify.

Follow up. Weeks or months later follow up, listen, have child repeat the rules for curiosity, no touching & no shame.

-- btw I used to live in Europe where people walk around fully naked all ages but it is less a sex thing. American culture is different.

My response:

"Be specific like, nobody else can touch your own privates: not Mommy, not Daddy, not Siblings, not Stanger, not Friends. No one. And the Action to take, if it happens, is to tell an adult like mommy, daddy, police etc."

Not Mommy or Daddy? What a bunch of horsesh!t.

You sound like an old Priest I used to know. "And, when you're taking a shower, never look down!"

He's dead now. That's a good thing.

IAAL

 

[Mister Darcy]

Proper response is a loud "No! Stop! Get out of here!"

That is EXACTLY what my girlfriend yells.

 

[BSharp]

That is EXACTLY what my girlfriend yells.

LMAO!
She learned well. lol
If she's smart and worthy she'll say marry me first.

 

[BLC2005]

Perhaps your ex should provide more child support so you can afford another bedroom then

Has your 12 yo son been evaluated for anything other than ADHD & ODD? Learning disabilities? Does he have an IEP at school? On any medications or sees a child and adolescent psychiatrist?

ITA! on the child support...

about my son.... yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes!!! We are very active in his mental health needs ie: meds, therapist(2x a month), Case Manager at school(every Wed.), IEP, psychiatrist(once a month), and I have educated myself some also to help deal.

Thanks thought for asking... We are on top of it!

 

[BLC2005]

Step children sharing a room is a higher risk than biological although both are still a risk.

The best answer is still not mentioned. Ownership of Self. Have a few discussions with both children that any person's private parts can only be touched by the Self. Show / point where private areas are, most importantly, genitalia.

Yes and try not to make it sound shameful.

Be specific like, nobody else can touch your own privates: not Mommy, not Daddy, not Siblings, not Stanger, not Friends. No one. And the Action to take, if it happens, is to tell an adult like mommy, daddy, police etc.

Ask your child, immediate reponse to someone other trying to touch is a big, loud, firm "No!". Has your child learned a forceful loud "No!" ?? A loud, healthy SCREAM!

Curiosity, all siblings are at least curious when growing up. Desire or curiosity happens, but touching and penetration is wrong. Proper response is a loud "No! Stop! Get out of here!"

COMMUNICATE - family must communicate
Next listen, have each child repeat what you just told them to verify. Being very detailed. Forgetting nothing. If it's too shocking all at once spread over more than one session.

Follow up. Weeks or months later follow up, listen, have child repeat the rules for curiosity, no touching & no shame.

-- btw I used to live in Europe where people walk around fully naked all ages but it is less a sex thing. American culture is different.

Your response troubles me, why is it that people automatically think that something "wierd" is going on if a boy and a girl share rooms?

First my two little ones are Half siblings. They sleep in seperate beds, they have different bed times, the door is never closed and at no time have I ever had an issue with "touching". They are 6 & 3! By the time they are a little older they will NOT be sharing a room.

I think that there is truely something wrong in this world when the automatic response to a question is: talk to them about touching each other!

Thanks for your reply..... but I feel you shouldnt think the worst of people, especially a 6 and 3 year old babies.

 

[ceara19]

LMAO!
She learned well. lol
If she's smart and worthy she'll say marry me first.

Why don't you go join a religious cult? Then you can enlighten them with your MORAL opinions and leave the LEGAL advice to those with some actual knowledge!

 

[nextwife]

Man, American's are SO SPOILED today!!!!

I know a guy whose dad died young -he and his mom had to share a government assigned apartment with five families when he was a kid in Russia. One kitchen between them! And he and mom had just a bedroom.

My Mom grew up during the depression, one of five kids. In a three bedroom flat! Mom slept in the DR. They all grew up just fine. Two are physicians, as a matter of fact. And, yes, same sex siblings shared a room.

 

[LdiJ]

Man, American's are SO SPOILED today!!!!

I know a guy whose dad died young -he and his mom had to share a government assigned apartment with five families when he was a kid in Russia. One kitchen between them! And he and mom had just a bedroom.

My Mom grew up during the depression, one of five kids. In a three bedroom flat! Mom slept in the DR. They all grew up just fine. Two are physicians, as a matter of fact. And, yes, same sex siblings shared a room.

Realistically the only time that bedrooms come into play is if its government housing....or CPS is involved and deems it necessary, or if a parent can convince a judge that its necessary. However if a parent can convince a judge that it's necessary, then the judge is going to give the other parent some time to resolve the issue.

 

[BSharp]

Your response troubles me, why is it that people automatically think that something "wierd" is going on if a boy and a girl share rooms?
I think that there is truely something wrong in this world when the automatic response to a question is: talk to them about touching each other!

Three reasons.

1) My sister was molested by my brother.

2) My other sister was molested by her father.

3) My brother was molested by a Catholic priest. Yes, he will probably wins $ millions.

I escaped the insanity unharmed. Whew! lol

Most parents are clueless. It is rare that they ever share any books on human development in place of TV. The only qualification to become a parent is get drunk and have sex. Mother Nature. Until you have been dragged through the childhood mud, people are oblivious til the lawsuits fly later on

You might have made the connection by now, how I could have articulated the problem and the solution so well instead of a shallow appeal to the herd. Real experience does that.

And yes for each, it takes a better part of their lifetime to survive it.

I should write a book like that Frey guy. He didn't even have to be honest. Made millions. But without the fraud so a class action doesnot take it back. LMAO

 

[ceara19]

Most parents are clueless. It is rare that they ever share any books on human development in place of TV. The only qualification to become a parent is get drunk and have sex. Mother Nature. Until you have been dragged through the childhood mud, people are oblivious til the lawsuits fly later on

Not true. Quite the opposite actually. MOST parents care about what goes on in their children's lives and go to great lengths to prepare them. Not only by talking about sex, but also drugs, booze, stranger danger and a whole slew of other things. It is a minority of parents that are oblivious. You really shouldn't judge society as a whole based soley on the stupidity of your parents.

You might have made the connection by now, how I could have articulated the problem and the solution so well instead of a shallow appeal to the herd. Real experience does that.

What connection? That you took an honest question and turned it into a lecture on the merits of teaching your children that if ANYONE ever touched them in certain areas, that person is molesting them? Do you know how much that would screw up a kid? It is actually quite easy to explain the difference in "good" touching and "bad" touching so that they do not grow up with a very convolutedview of sex that will take YEARS of therapy to fix? You didn't offer a "solution" you offered a way for the OP to seriously f*ck up her child.

And yes for each, it takes a better part of their lifetime to survive it.

I agree that it takes alot to get over childhood sexual abuse. It also takes alot to get past the misguided view on sexulity that some parents burden the children with.

I should write a book like that Frey guy. He didn't even have to be honest. Made millions. But without the fraud so a class action doesnot take it back. LMAO

Why don't you go ahead and do that. Then you can listen to nearly every talk show host and news commentator explain how wrong your "idea" is.