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  1. #1
    BLC2005 is offline Junior Member
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    opposite sex siblings sharing a room?

    Is this against any laws? Son is 6 daughter is 3. We live in Indiana... sorry if this is the wrong forum. Not sure which to use.

    Thanks...
  2. #2
    Litigation! is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BLC2005
    Is this against any laws? Son is 6 daughter is 3. We live in Indiana... sorry if this is the wrong forum. Not sure which to use.

    Thanks...

    My response:

    It's very unfortunate that you're even asking this question. Who is the real interested party - - you, or an ex-spouse? Whomever is the interested party wins the "Golden Dufus" Award, because it's so stupid!

    The only exception to this however is West Virginia, the incest capitol of the World, and parts of Alabama and Georgia.

    Other than that, no one would even think of making this an issue.

    IAAL
  3. #3
    LdiJ is online now Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BLC2005
    Is this against any laws? Son is 6 daughter is 3. We live in Indiana... sorry if this is the wrong forum. Not sure which to use.

    Thanks...
    No, its not against any laws in Indiana.
  4. #4
    justalayman is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ
    No, its not against any laws in Indiana.
    Although there are situations which concern apartment rental where a situation like this may require the rental of a 3 bedroom apt.

    I don't know if there is some agency that would control this or is an individual apt. complex rule but I have seen this required. The ages would probably make a diff. as well.
  5. #5
    ceara19 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by justalayman
    Although there are situations which concern apartment rental where a situation like this may require the rental of a 3 bedroom apt.

    I don't know if there is some agency that would control this or is an individual apt. complex rule but I have seen this required. The ages would probably make a diff. as well.
    I don't know of ANY agency that would get involved in this. Two children sharing a room is not unusual. If there were 8 kids sharing one room, that might be different.

    Apartment complex rules usually concern how many TOTAL occupants can live in a particular unit (IE- 4 people in a 2-bedroom). It is neither the concern or business of the management what the sex of the children are. As long as they under 18, it is the right of the PARENT to decide, not an apartment manager. If the children were older, a judge may feel as though the children need seperate rooms, but it would be very difficult for them to FORCE a parent to move if the parent can't AFFORD to.
  6. #6
    mlk1978 is offline Member
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    I know in Michigan there isn't a law on that, but not sure on your state. But I can say this. I have 3 kids and recently went through a nasty battle with my oldest. (I have 2 girls and one boy) a couple of years ago when my son was born they (My 1st and 2nd children) shared a room. After I had my 3rd child, the court order was ammended because my ex threw a fit. The stipulation was that I was required to have a 3 bedroom home. So it depends, your local CPS probobly wont say anything, but your ex might. I cant say for sure that the judge will grant his "suggestion" but it is possible.
  7. #7
    acmb05 is offline Senior Member
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    Tennessee ordered my wife to have a seperate bedroom for my son(was 2 at the time) Was told he could not share a room with a child of the opposite sex if one of the children were over the age of 8. Dont know if this is a law or not but he told her if she did not do it he would not allow overnite visits.
  8. #8
    ceara19 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mlk1978
    I know in Michigan there isn't a law on that, but not sure on your state. But I can say this. I have 3 kids and recently went through a nasty battle with my oldest. (I have 2 girls and one boy) a couple of years ago when my son was born they (My 1st and 2nd children) shared a room. After I had my 3rd child, the court order was ammended because my ex threw a fit. The stipulation was that I was required to have a 3 bedroom home. So it depends, your local CPS probobly wont say anything, but your ex might. I cant say for sure that the judge will grant his "suggestion" but it is possible.
    I can see where a judge would approve the request in your case. Many rental properties have the same rule, no more than 2 people per bedroom. I can't see getting an approval for this case though. It's not at all unusual for 2 siblings to share a room and they are too young for the fact that they are of the opposite sex to have any adverse effect on the kids. When mine were little, not only did they share a room, they took baths together too. The only "issue" that ever came up was the first time my daughter noticed her little brother had a penis. Then her only question was "when is his thingy going to fall off like mine did?" I think she got it confused with the umbilical cord!
  9. #9
    justalayman is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ceara19
    I don't know of ANY agency that would get involved in this. Two children sharing a room is not unusual. If there were 8 kids sharing one room, that might be different.

    Apartment complex rules usually concern how many TOTAL occupants can live in a particular unit (IE- 4 people in a 2-bedroom). It is neither the concern or business of the management what the sex of the children are. As long as they under 18, it is the right of the PARENT to decide, not an apartment manager. If the children were older, a judge may feel as though the children need seperate rooms, but it would be very difficult for them to FORCE a parent to move if the parent can't AFFORD to.
    I have seen it required though. Strangely enough it was in Mi. The problem was with the male/female thing. I do not remember the age of the children involved but the apt. complex would not rent less than a 3 bedroom for mom, dad, 1 daughter and 1 son. I believe there was a ADC/welfare involvement, but this was many years ago and the details are fuzzy. I do remember mom was real pissed about it.

    Obviusly the OP's situation should not be a concern at the moment but for the children, as they get older, privacy should be instituted.
  10. #10
    BLC2005 is offline Junior Member
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    Wink

    Quote Originally Posted by Litigation!
    My response:

    It's very unfortunate that you're even asking this question. Who is the real interested party - - you, or an ex-spouse? Whomever is the interested party wins the "Golden Dufus" Award, because it's so stupid!

    The only exception to this however is West Virginia, the incest capitol of the World, and parts of Alabama and Georgia.

    Other than that, no one would even think of making this an issue.

    IAAL

    Your correct it is very unfortunate!! Infact your also correct! However, its not the ex its the ex's room mate (female).

    I have 3 kids boy 12, boy 6, and girl with 2nd marriage 3. My 12 year old is ADHD and ODD, he has had a history of making his brothers life misserable and so I decided to put the younger two together (with bunk beds of course).

    I knew that what I was doing was the right thing but the "room mate" is spouting off to my boys that I was doing something wrong so I wanted to get others oppinions. I feel that my younger two are still at the age that they can share and play whereas my 12 year old needs his space to go and calm down when neccessary and the fact that he is entering his teen years is another factor.

    Thank you all for helping, it really seem silly, but I needed your answers to to assist me in telling my boys that mommy is doing the right thing for our entire family.
  11. #11
    rmet4nzkx is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BLC2005
    Your correct it is very unfortunate!! Infact your also correct! However, its not the ex its the ex's room mate (female).

    I have 3 kids boy 12, boy 6, and girl with 2nd marriage 3. My 12 year old is ADHD and ODD, he has had a history of making his brothers life misserable and so I decided to put the younger two together (with bunk beds of course).

    I knew that what I was doing was the right thing but the "room mate" is spouting off to my boys that I was doing something wrong so I wanted to get others oppinions. I feel that my younger two are still at the age that they can share and play whereas my 12 year old needs his space to go and calm down when neccessary and the fact that he is entering his teen years is another factor.

    Thank you all for helping, it really seem silly, but I needed your answers to to assist me in telling my boys that mommy is doing the right thing for our entire family.
    Perhaps your ex should provide more child support so you can afford another bedroom then

    Has your 12 yo son been evaluated for anything other than ADHD & ODD? Learning disabilities? Does he have an IEP at school? On any medications or sees a child and adolescent psychiatrist?
  12. #12
    acmb05 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BLC2005
    Your correct it is very unfortunate!! Infact your also correct! However, its not the ex its the ex's room mate (female).

    I have 3 kids boy 12, boy 6, and girl with 2nd marriage 3. My 12 year old is ADHD and ODD, he has had a history of making his brothers life misserable and so I decided to put the younger two together (with bunk beds of course).

    I knew that what I was doing was the right thing but the "room mate" is spouting off to my boys that I was doing something wrong so I wanted to get others oppinions. I feel that my younger two are still at the age that they can share and play whereas my 12 year old needs his space to go and calm down when neccessary and the fact that he is entering his teen years is another factor.

    Thank you all for helping, it really seem silly, but I needed your answers to to assist me in telling my boys that mommy is doing the right thing for our entire family.
    Tell your ex's roomate to butt out. How you raise your children is none of her/his concern and they have no business telling your children anything about what they think.
    Last edited by acmb05; 01-29-2006 at 01:19 PM. Reason: edit
  13. #13
    CJane is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ceara19
    I don't know of ANY agency that would get involved in this. Two children sharing a room is not unusual. If there were 8 kids sharing one room, that might be different.

    Apartment complex rules usually concern how many TOTAL occupants can live in a particular unit (IE- 4 people in a 2-bedroom). It is neither the concern or business of the management what the sex of the children are.
    My dad owns several properties that are rented through Section 8... I know that there are, in fact, rules re: gender and bedroom sharing when one is attempting to rent a section 8 property... but that's obviously program specific.
  14. #14
    Litigation! is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BLC2005
    Your correct it is very unfortunate!! Infact your also correct! However, its not the ex its the ex's room mate (female).

    I have 3 kids boy 12, boy 6, and girl with 2nd marriage 3. My 12 year old is ADHD and ODD, he has had a history of making his brothers life misserable and so I decided to put the younger two together (with bunk beds of course).

    I knew that what I was doing was the right thing but the "room mate" is spouting off to my boys that I was doing something wrong so I wanted to get others oppinions. I feel that my younger two are still at the age that they can share and play whereas my 12 year old needs his space to go and calm down when neccessary and the fact that he is entering his teen years is another factor.

    Thank you all for helping, it really seem silly, but I needed your answers to to assist me in telling my boys that mommy is doing the right thing for our entire family.

    My response:

    Apparently, then, she must be from either West Virginia, Alabama or Georgia, and a product of incest.

    Tell her, "Hey we're trying to clean up Indiana. So, move yourself and your trailer trash thoughts back to the South where they belong."

    Show her my posts!!

    IAAL
  15. #15
    BSharp is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BLC2005
    Thank you all for helping, it really seem silly, but I needed your answers to to assist me in telling my boys that mommy is doing the right thing for our entire family.
    Step children sharing a room is a higher risk than biological although both are still a risk.

    The best answer is still not mentioned. Ownership of Self. Have a few discussions with both children that any person's private parts can only be touched by the Self. Show / point where private areas are, most importantly, genitalia.

    Yes and try not to make it sound shameful.

    Be specific like, nobody else can touch your own privates: not Mommy, not Daddy, not Siblings, not Stanger, not Friends. No one. And the Action to take, if it happens, is to tell an adult like mommy, daddy, police etc.

    Ask your child, immediate reponse to someone other trying to touch is a big, loud, firm "No!". Has your child learned a forceful loud "No!" ?? A loud, healthy SCREAM!

    Curiosity, all siblings are at least curious when growing up. Desire or curiosity happens, but touching and penetration is wrong. Proper response is a loud "No! Stop! Get out of here!"

    COMMUNICATE - family must communicate
    Next listen, have each child repeat what you just told them to verify. Being very detailed. Forgetting nothing. If it's too shocking all at once spread over more than one session.

    Follow up. Weeks or months later follow up, listen, have child repeat the rules for curiosity, no touching & no shame.

    -- btw I used to live in Europe where people walk around fully naked all ages but it is less a sex thing. American culture is different.
    Last edited by BSharp; 01-29-2006 at 02:22 PM.

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