Options for divorce

[wannabefree]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York
I got married in another country 6 years ago. I have been living with my husband for 5 years in New York. Can I get divorce in New York?
I am trying to convince him to get uncontested divorce and sign a separation agreement. I do not know if I can get divorce on "cruel and inhuman treatment". My husband is an alcoholic, he smokes 'pot" every day, wakes me up in the middle of the night demanding sex and several times I woke up because he was actually having sex with me when I was asleep. Also, he admitted (while being drunk) that he was making me drunk to have sex with me "the way he wanted".
He does not make a lot of money and I am the main bread winner in the family. However, we have joint accounts and he wants to have more money that I think he should, given that I earned everything.

Please advise.

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York
I got married in another country 6 years ago. I have been living with my husband for 5 years in New York. Can I get divorce in New York?
I am trying to convince him to get uncontested divorce and sign a separation agreement. I do not know if I can get divorce on "cruel and inhuman treatment". My husband is an alcoholic, he smokes 'pot" every day, wakes me up in the middle of the night demanding sex and several times I woke up because he was actually having sex with me when I was asleep. Also, he admitted (while being drunk) that he was making me drunk to have sex with me "the way he wanted".
He does not make a lot of money and I am the main bread winner in the family. However, we have joint accounts and he wants to have more money that I think he should, given that I earned everything.

Please advise.

Yes, you can get a divorce in NY since you've been living there for 5 years.

Whether you can get grounds of cruel and inhuman treatment will depend on the judge and how well you prove your case. If he contests it, how are you going to prove what you're accusing him of?

As for the money, that's too bad. Men have been earning more than their wives for decades (centuries, probably) and upon divorce, the women receive 1/2 of marital assets. In some cases, the women get alimony, as well. Even though the tables are turned here, what's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York
I got married in another country 6 years ago. I have been living with my husband for 5 years in New York. Can I get divorce in New York?
I am trying to convince him to get uncontested divorce and sign a separation agreement. I do not know if I can get divorce on "cruel and inhuman treatment". My husband is an alcoholic, he smokes 'pot" every day, wakes me up in the middle of the night demanding sex and several times I woke up because he was actually having sex with me when I was asleep. Also, he admitted (while being drunk) that he was making me drunk to have sex with me "the way he wanted".
He does not make a lot of money and I am the main bread winner in the family. However, we have joint accounts and he wants to have more money that I think he should, given that I earned everything.

Please advise.

New York is one of the few states to accept fault-based divorce petitions (actually they do not allow any other kind - fault-based is the only way they'll accept)

Take a look at the NY state requirements here: Matrimonial Matters

The site does have forms you can use, with an explanation of when and why you can use them.

This site will give you a list of low-cost/pro bono attorneys if you are low income.

LawHelp/NY: Choose a Location

One question though - are both of you US citizens?

 

[wannabefree]

Yes, we will become US citizens shortly.

 

[Proserpina]

Yes, we will become US citizens shortly.

Let me rephrase the question.

What is your immigrant status as of right now? (for both of you)

 

[mistoffolees]

Let me rephrase the question.

What is your immigrant status as of right now? (for both of you)

AND, were either or both of you sponsored in immigration by someone else?

 

[Proserpina]

AND, were either or both of you sponsored in immigration by someone else?

You know where I'm going with this