Paternity fraud, and Annulment!

[jrbaldwin]

State: OREGON
I asked my girlfriend to marry me the night she told me she was pregnant with my child 11 years ago.

I just had a DNA test done (8/15/08) on my son of nearly eleven years to find out that my marriage was based on a horrible lie; I am excluded as the father (0%)!

Facts:
• The night she told me she was pregnant I asked her to marry me and told her I was sorry for putting her in this position.
• The night she told me she was pregnant I asked her if she was certain the baby was mine, she was insulted by the implication and told me that I was absolutely the father, I felt guilty for suggesting infidelity.
• Had I known that she was cheating on me during our relationship and that the baby she was carrying was not mine, there would have been no marriage!
I intend to pay child support, I am his father regardless of his biological donor but my wife must account for her fraud and the victims of her actions. Without her fraud there would have been no marriage to receive spousal support from in the first place. Can I have an 11 year marriage annulled where my wife gets no spousal support because of what she has done?
_________________________________
Fraud or deceit at the time of marriage is also grounds for annulment. Fraud can include any of the following: one party never intended on getting married; one person was already married to another living person; the marriage was an attempt to deceive the other person; one person used force to get married by threat or duress; the marriage was done to gain citizenship status; one party concealed a chemical dependency or other problem; the women was pregnant with another man's child and claimed it was the husband's; and situations similar to this.

 

[Zigner]

I asked my girlfriend to marry me the night she told me she was pregnant with my child 11 years ago.

I just had a DNA test done (8/15/08) on my son of nearly eleven years to find out that my marriage was based on a horrible lie; I am excluded as the father (0%)!

Facts:
• The night she told me she was pregnant I asked her to marry me and told her I was sorry for putting her in this position.
• The night she told me she was pregnant I asked her if she was certain the baby was mine, she was insulted by the implication and told me that I was absolutely the father, I felt guilty for suggesting infidelity.
• Had I known that she was cheating on me during our relationship and that the baby she was carrying was not mine, there would have been no marriage!
I intend to pay child support, I am his father regardless of his biological donor but my wife must account for her fraud and the victims of her actions. Without her fraud there would have been no marriage to receive spousal support from in the first place. Can I have an 11 year marriage annulled where my wife gets no spousal support because of what she has done?

US Law Only!
With that said. The answer is no.

 

[Farfalla]

It is required that you list what state you live in.

 

[ariastar]

Too late for an annulment.

Legalities aside, please don't punish the child because of a mistake your wife made 11 years ago. It's possible she did believe the child was yours. Your punishing of her will result in the child being punished as well. Has she been a good wife since? Would you want to divorce her otherwise? If no, PLEASE seek co-counseling to work on this. Have more love for the boy than anger with her. Protect your son. It's not like any infidelity was this year. You're talking more than 12 years ago (counting gestation). PLEASE protect your son and do NOT punish him by splitting up the family. GET COUNSELING FOR THE SAKE OF THIS CHILD.

 

[jrbaldwin]

A mistake!? She unilaterally decided to remove a biological father from his son, obligate a man into marrying her, and remove the rights of a child to know his biological father! Mistake my @$$, this was a calculated decision she chose to make and had no right to do so!

She made three victims and changed their lives forever! A thief for a "good" reason is still a thief, and to claim no victims is only fooling himself and apparently you!

After 12 years, she never told me the truth, and now she is divorcing me because she loves me but is no longer in love?! She tore out my heart with this divorce and now finding this out has me spinning.

Do you really believe she has no accountability for her actions?????

There is no consideration for the duration of marriage in Oregon law concerning annulment, what is your legal reason for stating an 11 year marriage cannot be annulled?

 

[Zigner]

There is no consideration for the duration of marriage in Oregon law concerning annulment, what is your legal reason for stating an 11 year marriage cannot be annulled?

Because your situation doesn't meet the definition of "fraud" that is needed for the marriage to be annulled. You went it to it with your eyes wide shut.

EDIT: To further refine my statement...you can't PROVE the fraud that is necessary to allow the marriage to be annulled. Get a divorce.

 

[seniorjudge]

107.015 Grounds for annulment or dissolution of marriage. (1) Except as provided in subsection (2) of this section, a judgment for the annulment or dissolution of a marriage may be rendered:

(a) When either party to the marriage was incapable of making the marriage contract or consenting to the marriage for want of legal age or sufficient understanding; or

(b) When the consent of either party was obtained by force or fraud.

(2) A judgment for the annulment or dissolution of a marriage may not be rendered for a reason described in subsection (1) of this section if the marriage contract was afterward ratified. [1971 c.280 §8; 2003 c.576 §103; 2007 c.22 §2]

Chapter 107 — Marital Dissolution, Annulment and Separation; Mediation and Conciliation Services; Family Abuse Prevention

 

[jrbaldwin]

"the women was pregnant with another man's child and claimed it was the husband's"

How is this not fraud?

The 9 elements of Oregon fraud are: 1) A representation; 2) Its falsity; 3) Its materiality; 4) The speaker's knowledge of the representation's falsity or ignorance of its truth; 5) Intent that the representation be acted on in a manner reasonably contemplated; 6) The hearer's ignorance of the falsity of the representation; 7) The hearer's reliance on its truth; 8) The hearer's right to rely on the representation; and 9) Damage caused by the representation. Musgrave v. Lucas, 193 Or 401, 410, 238 P2d 780 (1951); Webb v Clark, 274 Or 387, 391, 546 P2d 1078 (1976).

 

[seniorjudge]

"the women was pregnant with another man's child and claimed it was the husband's"

How is this not fraud?

The 9 elements of Oregon fraud are: 1) A representation; 2) Its falsity; 3) Its materiality; 4) The speaker's knowledge of the representation's falsity or ignorance of its truth; 5) Intent that the representation be acted on in a manner reasonably contemplated; 6) The hearer's ignorance of the falsity of the representation; 7) The hearer's reliance on its truth; 8) The hearer's right to rely on the representation; and 9) Damage caused by the representation. Musgrave v. Lucas, 193 Or 401, 410, 238 P2d 780 (1951); Webb v Clark, 274 Or 387, 391, 546 P2d 1078 (1976).

It's cheaper and easier to get a divorce.

 

[jrbaldwin]

Okay, cheaper and easier, but in a no fault divorce state will I get a reduction in or removal of spousal support because of what she did.

On face value do I have a case for annulment?

If I did go for the harder more expensive route (annulment) wouldn't I be able to seek attorney fees making it more expensive for her?

If you have not realized it yet, i am very stuck on her taking some accountability for her actions.

 

[LdiJ]

Okay, cheaper and easier, but in a no fault divorce state will I get a reduction in or removal of spousal support because of what she did.

On face value do I have a case for annulment?

If I did go for the harder more expensive route (annulment) wouldn't I be able to seek attorney fees making it more expensive for her?

If you have not realized it yet, i am very stuck on her taking some accountability for her actions.

You are assuming that you would be paying alimony. You are also assuming that she knew you were not the father. You are also assuming that there was no foul up with the DNA test.

You are angry and hurt right now, and nobody blames you for that. However, you also love your son, and you want to remain his father. That is absolutely in your son's best interest. However, if you make his mother's life miserable, you will be hurting him.

Get yourself a consult with a local attorney and discuss all of the variables. Make sure you clearly understand where you stand legally. Then, go get a consult with a child psychologist to get a thorough idea what kind of effect this whole thing may have on your son. Maybe even attend a couple of sessions of marriage counseling with your wife, so that you ae sure you understand where her head was at then, and where it is now.

THEN decide what you want to do.

 

[nextwife]

You are assuming that you would be paying alimony. You are also assuming that she knew you were not the father. You are also assuming that there was no foul up with the DNA test.

You are angry and hurt right now, and nobody blames you for that. However, you also love your son, and you want to remain his father. That is absolutely in your son's best interest. However, if you make his mother's life miserable, you will be hurting him.

Get yourself a consult with a local attorney and discuss all of the variables. Make sure you clearly understand where you stand legally. Then, go get a consult with a child psychologist to get a thorough idea what kind of effect this whole thing may have on your son. Maybe even attend a couple of sessions of marriage counseling with your wife, so that you ae sure you understand where her head was at then, and where it is now.

THEN decide what you want to do.

It's "bull oney" to say "maybe she didn't know. She sure as shootin' KNEW she had been with someone else.

THEREFORE it would have been biologically IMPOSSIBLE to for her to actually KNOW that a given man was or was not the father. Meaning any representation to the affirmative that one man, and only that one man WAS certain to be the father would HAVE to have been false. It is biologically impossible to KNOW that a given man IS the father if one has had relations with other parties during a window of conception dates. Unless a complete menstrual cycle had passed since relations with the other party, paternity could not be certain. Thus representations that it WAS certain had to have been lies. There is no way that a woman doesn't KNOW she has had other sex partners!

 

[LdiJ]

It's "bull oney" to say "maybe she didn't know. She sure as shootin' KNEW she had been with someone else.

THEREFORE it would have been biologically IMPOSSIBLE to for her to actually KNOW that a given man was or was not the father. Meaning any representation to the affirmative that one man, and only that one man WAS certain to be the father would HAVE to have been false. It is biologically impossible to KNOW that a given man IS the father if one has had relations with other parties during a window of conception dates. Unless a complete menstrual cycle had passed since relations with the other party, paternity could not be certain. Thus representations that it WAS certain had to have been lies. There is no way that a woman doesn't KNOW she has had other sex partners!

I agree that there is no way that a woman doesn't know that she had sex with someone else...unless...she was passed out drunk...or was given a date rape drug...etc. And...as all educated women know, pregnancy can even result without penetration, therefore without physical signs that intercourse happened.

Also, its possible that a young woman could listen to, and believe, some old wives tale regarding how to determine who the daddy was.

I was an RA (resident assistant) in college, I dealt with quite a few of those young women. I dealt with one young woman who absolutely had no memory whatsoever, of having had sex with anyone, who didn't know that she was pregnant until she was over 6 months along and went to the med center for something unrelated. She had had a period, albiet light, every month.

So, while I don't disagree with you, I also know that there can be instances where its not that black and white.

 

[penelope10]

Here's how I see it. There is a child who has been lead to believe that this man is his father. This child is an innocent out of this...Personally I think in the long run an annulment will be extremely hurtful to this child. (And may possibly damage the relationship with BOTH parents)

I don't blame OP for being angry. I think most rational people would be upset in this situation. And I can certainly understand not wanting to pay spousal support to someone that lied about something so important (and that could have devastating consequences should the lie be revealed).

If indeed this is the end of the road for this marriage (And counseling is not an option) I would speak to an attorney in regards to the pros and cons of annulment vs divorce. (And also think about the psychological effect it may have on kiddo).

 

[mistoffolees]

A mistake!? She unilaterally decided to remove a biological father from his son, obligate a man into marrying her, and remove the rights of a child to know his biological father! Mistake my @$$, this was a calculated decision she chose to make and had no right to do so!

You don't know any such thing.

She could have been drunk and doesn't remember having sex with him. She could have had sex with him once close to her period and had sex with you 1000 times, so she just assumed it was you. There are probably other possible explanations.

You have every right to discuss the facts at hand. As soon as you start impugning motives, you've crossed the line. She is the only one who really knows the truth, not you.

Sorry, but my ex did the same thing for years - no matter what I did, she dreamed up bizarre motives and accused me of them.