Personal Property

[April Helminiak]

What is the name of your state? Illinois

I have been evicted from my home for committing adultery. Is my husband allowed to stop me from obtainging personal possessions from my former home? We are in the process of divorce and were seperated when all this happened. Can he stop me from packing my belongings or choosing what I can and cannot have?

 

[Illinois Dad]

What do you mean, you were evicted? Who evicted you? You say you were separated when all this happened...I don't understand that either. I am assuming you mean that you were not living there when the adulterous act occured, so how do you get evicted from someplace you aren't living? If you can clarify your story here, I am sure you will get some advice. Also, you say you are in the midst of a divorce...do you have a lawyer? Let me know and maybe I can help you.

 

[April Helminiak]

To clarify my original question...

My husband and I decided that he needed to leave the home. My parents were concerned that our four children were not taken care of and told him to move back in. We had been seperated in August and he moved out. He moved back in and still agreed that, yes, we are both in agreement that divorce is where we were headed and considered ourselves seperated but living in the same home. He worked nights and I days so it worked out that we never saw each other. (He slept in the basement and I upstairs) So, the adulterous act (only sleeping in the same bed, not doing anything physical) was in the house we both lived in. We rent the home from my parents, and they all agreed I needed to leave. So my belongings were put in my car, money taken from my purse without my consent, and was told that if I wanted anything, to call first to arrange a time. Now, I am being told I cannot come in for any reason, per his lawyer. I am currently saving money for my retainer for a lawyer I spoke to. So I am wondering, can he stop me from deciding which possessions I keep or not? Right now, my mother has packed my clothes and memory-type possesions (baby books, keepsakes, etc) I just want to make sure I have everything I cannot replace, such as memoirs. The material stuff he can keep.

 

[Illinois Dad]

If there is no court order granting him exclusive possession of the residence you have every bit as much right to be there as he does. No one can force you to leave your home. Illinois is a no-fault state and, legally speaking, no one cares if you have a revolving door on your bedroom with men lined up around the block...it doesn't affect what you are entitled to. As for property, you are entitled to all "non-marital" property that is yours. In other words, everything you owned before you were married belongs to you and you can remove it at will. All marital property, and that means EVERYTHING that was acquired after the marriage, needs to be worked out in a property settlement. There will be an equitable distribution of all these assets. If needs be, a court will decide these things but trust me...judges don't want to spend their court time deciding who gets the china and who gets the sofa. You and he will need to work these things out amongst yourself. Illinois is also a forced mediation state. You and he will sit down with a neutral third party and try to hammer all these things out.

Where are your kids in all this? How long have you lived away from the home? Is there a formal lease on this property with your parents? If so, are both your names on it? What county do you live in?

These people are trying to control you and doing a fine job of it so far. You have far more rights than you realize but no one is going to hand you anything...now is the time when you need to stand up and fight. How long before you can afford the lawyer's retainer? You need to file for divorce, temporary custody of the children (assuming you want custody), and child support immediately.

 

[April Helminiak]

I figured that was the case. I have stood up to my parents and that was without avail. Since I have no permanent residence, my husband was granted temporary custody of 2 of the minor children, which I am filing a petition against, and my mother has legal guradianship over my 2 older children since they were born prior to the marriage. I will have my attorney by the 21st of this month. I have already been served with divorce papers which I must now file a written appearance against. This has been war to say the least and will not get any easier. Thank you for the response.

 

[Illinois Dad]

That's what I thought. See, April, you cannot put a post up here that tells a third of the story and expect good advice. In my very humble and uneducated opinion you might as well save your time, money, and the risk of pissing off the judge by appealing the temporary custody ruling. Choose your battles and save that fight for trial. If I was you though, I would be moving my butt back into that house. If he wants to leave let him...but now that he has temp custody he will take the kids with him. You never should have left in the first place.

It is obvious that there are a whole bunch of issues going on here that you haven't even skimmed the surface of in your questions. If nothing else, take this piece of advice. When you do hire your lawyer don't do what you have done here....tell him everything and be completely honest. Details that you think have no bearing could be vitally important. I wish you luck...me thinks you will need it.