please help!

[grandma52]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?ncMy daughter lived with a man that was verbally abusive to her and their 2 children. After 6 years she told him she had had enough and wanted him to leave. He kept telling her in a couple of weeks. Well finally she left and she and the kids came here until he left (2months). He does give her child support, when it suits him, but will not sign seperation papers. (and she has been told Medicaid, for children,etc she needs it)He does not call about or visit the children. When he left several bills were left unpaid car insurance (now she cant get it), bank acct.,light bill etc. If he were to take the children for a visit-can he then claim custody and not bring them back? it would be for spite in hopes she might change her mind. it has been 4 months. and now his father and step mother want to take the kids for a day (they never have before) I am just suspicious of him and don't know how to advise her.

[casa]

Originally Posted by grandma52

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?ncMy daughter lived with a man that was verbally abusive to her and their 2 children. After 6 years she told him she had had enough and wanted him to leave. He kept telling her in a couple of weeks. Well finally she left and she and the kids came here until he left (2months). He does give her child support, when it suits him, but will not sign seperation papers. (and she has been told Medicaid, for children,etc she needs it)He does not call about or visit the children. When he left several bills were left unpaid car insurance (now she cant get it), bank acct.,light bill etc. If he were to take the children for a visit-can he then claim custody and not bring them back? it would be for spite in hopes she might change her mind. it has been 4 months. and now his father and step mother want to take the kids for a day (they never have before) I am just suspicious of him and don't know how to advise her.

Were they married? Has the father legally established paternity? Is there a court order? How old are the children and how long have they been gone?

[grandma52]

yes they were married for 5 years. His name is on the birth certs., no court order,he won't sign sep. papers she can't afford att. right now, no job and she is trying to pay off some of his debts(lights & so forth were all in her name,we tried to get her to change them but she was trying to be nice-she even paid her share of bills for april after she left) they have been apart since April 22, 2005.
The kids are 5 years and 15 months old. Thanks

[rmet4nzkx]

It is simple, she moved out, so she cancels the utilities in her name.
She can file for divorce, and get child support and custody have her contact legal aid.

[grandma52]

they won't let her take her name off the account, she didnt cancel them when she left, trying to be a nice person, plus it was next door so she wanted the kids to have that stuff when they went to visit--not!he never wanted them. He moved out when everything was about to be shut off and she and the kids moved back in.She was gone from the house for 2 months so to keep everything on she had to pay the back bills, power, water, phone, cable, then there is the checking account-ok somethings she doesn't have!!
BUT...with no custody/seperation papers having been signed-can he take them off for a "visit" and not bring them back.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by grandma52

they won't let her take her name off the account, she didnt cancel them when she left, trying to be a nice person, plus it was next door so she wanted the kids to have that stuff when they went to visit--not!he never wanted them. He moved out when everything was about to be shut off and she and the kids moved back in.She was gone from the house for 2 months so to keep everything on she had to pay the back bills, power, water, phone, cable, then there is the checking account-ok somethings she doesn't have!!
BUT...with no custody/seperation papers having been signed-can he take them off for a "visit" and not bring them back.

Yes, he could take them off for a visit and not bring them back. He has just as much legal right to the children as she does. Therefore if she doesn't trust him to bring them back, then she needs to insist that all visitation take place under her (or perhaps your) supervision.

She needs to contact legal aid for help, or even consider filing for divorce without an attorney.

[grandma52]

NC--they have only been apart for 4 months can she file for divorce now?

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by grandma52

NC--they have only been apart for 4 months can she file for divorce now?

I don't remember how much of a separation time that NC requires....however if she can't file for divorce she can certainly file for a legal separation and to establish child custody.

She should get a consult with an attorney. Even if she decides to do it on her own and not hire one....it would be in her best interest.

[grandma52]

Thsank you so much. In filing for seperation how does that work does he have to sign. He refused to sign the papers that were drawn up before. If she writes it(has it done)signs it and files it is it legal. Will it help her get out of some of his debt. Get the kids on Medicare and her also she had insurance until she lost her job-and that is another story. Thanks again!

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by grandma52

Thsank you so much. In filing for seperation how does that work does he have to sign. He refused to sign the papers that were drawn up before. If she writes it(has it done)signs it and files it is it legal. Will it help her get out of some of his debt. Get the kids on Medicare and her also she had insurance until she lost her job-and that is another story. Thanks again!

She can get/do things without his agreement/signature...but it is more complicated. It would probably be in her best interest to get an attorney if at all possible.

[grandma52]

ok thanks!