please help me, in any way

[Gabriella]

What is the name of your state? I live in Illinois...i am new to this and a bit shy about it but don't know where to turn, who to ask. I married young at 21 and now, 4 years into the marriage i'm thinking divorce. For 2 years i have been struggeling to cope with my husban't new found curiosity(bisexuality to be more specific), so i have to tell you it's been extremly hard for me. I closed in, been through a huge depression and anxiety and still fighting it. I come to the end of my rope and i want out for good. I tried to be as understanding and as encouraging as i could but all this time i did nothing but fell out of love for him. He never fizically cheated, i am almost positive of that but he used me as cover to his familly and friends and that makes me feel emotionaly cheated and misstreated.
Long story short, i don't hate him, i don't want to revenge or have a nasty break-up. But i want out...in 4 years i can count the days i was happy with him on the fingers at one hand. So, yeah, i ran out of love, completly. I've just turned 26, i am a student and held a job before but presently i am unemployed(trying to find one that would give me more hours if not better pay). We have no morgage, no children but we have a payment for a car i use to go to school or buy groceries. We rent an appartment and he has a good steady computer job that pays a little above average.
If i want to file for divorce, where do i start? I have no family, i am completly on my own in this world and i mean it literaly. Am i entitled to any support from him at least untill i find a job and maybe a roomate? I do need the car to go to school but i can't afford it...i don't know what to do, who to turn to....I feel trapped but i think that if i stay like this any longer, he will feel like i do right now or worse.
I don't want to hurt him nor suck every penny from him. I want to eat and have a modest place to sleep at night. I don't want to have to lay my head on a park bench or in a shelter...just a little help untill i get back on my own feet. We don't have any savings money eighter nor huge debts sccumulated. I have no money put aside in anticipation of this n'or i think it's fair to do so...i don't know...
Please, an advice, anything, if anybody knows...i feel the walls are closing in on me. I can't stop crying at night thinking about the life that to me right now it is not worth living anymore.

thank you for absolutely anything you can tell me...

 

[Zephyr]

find a way to support yourself- that may mean quitting or cutting back a little at school for now...

there may be divorce forms available at your county courthouse or their website, if you both can basically agree on the terms of your divorce you may be able to do this on your own for minimal cost

 

[Gabriella]

find a way to support yourself- that may mean quitting or cutting back a little at school for now...

there may be divorce forms available at your county courthouse or their website, if you both can basically agree on the terms of your divorce you may be able to do this on your own for minimal cost

Thank you. I will stop school for the next semester and get two jobs, hopefuly that i can go to by bus or train or if i am lucky, by foot. In terms of papers, i get them from the courthouse, complete and send them. You don't need an attorney if you want absolutely nothing from your spose? That is good news...i appreciate it.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

This is where to find MOST forms.
http://courts.michigan.gov/scao/courtforms/#forms

There are no divorce forms here. Your best bet is to either find an attorney that can do an uncontested divorce for little money plus court filing fees, or look online for some of the 'do it yourself' forms.

how long have you been married?

 

[Gabriella]

This is where to find MOST forms.
http://courts.michigan.gov/scao/courtforms/#forms

There are no divorce forms here. Your best bet is to either find an attorney that can do an uncontested divorce for little money plus court filing fees, or look online for some of the 'do it yourself' forms.

how long have you been married?

Thank you. Do you know aproximately how much it would cost? Can i pay the attorney with my own Credit Card or all fees at once after the divorce or better said after i get a job? I have been married 4 years, going on 5.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Because it is a relatively short marriage and there are NO children, the chance of them awarding alimony to you is between zip and nil.

I would look around online with google or another search engine to what 'do it yourself' form kits cost. Because my divorce included children, mine were very pricey.

Suggest finding job and roommate to save up for a divorce. You'll get to split the assets and the bills.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Gabriella,

Disregard my prior posting of forms - had you for a Michigan person, not an Illinois person. mea culpe ...

 

[Gabriella]

Because it is a relatively short marriage and there are NO children, the chance of them awarding alimony to you is between zip and nil.

I would look around online with google or another search engine to what 'do it yourself' form kits cost. Because my divorce included children, mine were very pricey.

Suggest finding job and roommate to save up for a divorce. You'll get to split the assets and the bills.

Thanks Ginny. I am not counting on getting alimony(heard of it but knew nothing about it)...and i believe it's better this way becouse i want to move on and close any contacts and connections with him. The councelor i saw before could not help much with my depression but i think that closing this chapter of my life and cutting any ties with him or anything from him, might help me forget some bad times and get back to the way i used to be.
Do you know anything about what happends when you are both on the appartment lease? Do we have to both live together untill the lease expires next year? If any of us decide to leave can the other be stuck with paying the rent on his own?

 

[Ohiogal]

Thanks Ginny. I am not counting on getting alimony(heard of it but knew nothing about it)...and i believe it's better this way becouse i want to move on and close any contacts and connections with him. The councelor i saw before could not help much with my depression but i think that closing this chapter of my life and cutting any ties with him or anything from him, might help me forget some bad times and get back to the way i used to be.
Do you know anything about what happends when you are both on the appartment lease? Do we have to both live together untill the lease expires next year? If any of us decide to leave can the other be stuck with paying the rent on his own?

You do NOT have to live together however you are both legally responsible for the rent -- that does not mean 50/50. that means you are each 100% responsible. He also has a right ot be in the apartment -- even if he moved out -- until a court order says otherwise. You will need a job and to look in to school loans. If either leaves yes you can be stuck with paying rent by yourself.

 

[sbringh]

Seeking Help...

What does he want to do?

I'm sure you have talked things over with him?

Is there any church or belief system that you can turn to for help?

Counseling is always the best option; believe me I've been though a divorce and it is really tough if you don't seek professional advice and counseling from the county where you live...they help with little cost...

Love for one another is a big part of marriage as well as communication...if these are missing, it is very tough to get along...

Forgiveness down the road will be needed so please do things that you won't regret later on.
God understands your pain and struggles...seek his advice too...in deep sincere prayer.

Good luck to you and I'll be praying for you both...parents can help if possible....
Our church website is www.lds.org
Give some time on the website to study, pray and ponder...we hope you will find comfort in this time of trial....

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

What does he want to do?

I'm sure you have talked things over with him?

Is there any church or belief system that you can turn to for help?

Counseling is always the best option; believe me I've been though a divorce and it is really tough if you don't seek professional advice and counseling from the county where you live...they help with little cost...

Love for one another is a big part of marriage as well as communication...if these are missing, it is very tough to get along...

Forgiveness down the road will be needed so please do things that you won't regret later on.
God understands your pain and struggles...seek his advice too...in deep sincere prayer.

Good luck to you and I'll be praying for you both...parents can help if possible....
Our church website is www.lds.org
Give some time on the website to study, pray and ponder...we hope you will find comfort in this time of trial....

This is a legal website, not for you to be recruiting for your Morman faith.

 

[Just Blue]

What does he want to do?

I'm sure you have talked things over with him?

Is there any church or belief system that you can turn to for help?

Counseling is always the best option; believe me I've been though a divorce and it is really tough if you don't seek professional advice and counseling from the county where you live...they help with little cost...

Love for one another is a big part of marriage as well as communication...if these are missing, it is very tough to get along...

Forgiveness down the road will be needed so please do things that you won't regret later on.
God understands your pain and struggles...seek his advice too...in deep sincere prayer.

Good luck to you and I'll be praying for you both...parents can help if possible....
Our church website is XXXXXXXX.org
Give some time on the website to study, pray and ponder...we hope you will find comfort in this time of trial....

Stop posting this link, it is in violation of the TOS of this site.

Use of the Forums is subject to our Terms and Conditions which prohibit advertisements, solicitations or other commercial messages, or false, defamatory, abusive, vulgar, or harassing messages, and subject violators to a fee for each improper posting.

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks Ginny. I am not counting on getting alimony(heard of it but knew nothing about it)...and i believe it's better this way becouse i want to move on and close any contacts and connections with him. The councelor i saw before could not help much with my depression but i think that closing this chapter of my life and cutting any ties with him or anything from him, might help me forget some bad times and get back to the way i used to be.
Do you know anything about what happends when you are both on the appartment lease? Do we have to both live together untill the lease expires next year? If any of us decide to leave can the other be stuck with paying the rent on his own?

What you need to do is to hang in there, if at all possible, until the lease expires. In the meantime, get yourself a job, preferibly one where you can increase your hours once the semester ends, and save your money. Waitressing can earn you some decent money on a part time basis.

Once you get divorced (or even during the process) you an apply for student loans to help you finish school and still be able to support yourself. You will probably continue to need part time work to make ends meet.

Consider transferring (if necessary) to a state school where you can live and work on campus...or near campus. That will also give you a good solid, "change", which could be very healthy for you.

You don't have any children so you are really in a better position than most....you can do what you need to do to finish your education, and can move where you need to move to better optimize things for you.

Good luck.

 

[Bali Hai]

Thank you. I will stop school for the next semester and get two jobs,

Make that three jobs and if it isn't enough, get four jobs!

hopefuly that i can go to by bus or train or if i am lucky, by foot.

You get there any way you can and if you can't manage by foot, grow another one!!

In terms of papers, i get them from the courthouse, complete and send them. You don't need an attorney if you want absolutely nothing from your spose? That is good news...i appreciate it.

You're welcome my child.