Please help me....husband will not leave.

[stacey88]

State: Alabama, Mobile County

I am so upset, I don't what to do.

My husband is a drug addict as of about 1998, but he was granted social security disability about 1 year ago.

He filed for divorce last week because his dad told him that I was planning on divorcing him, which I never said.

He told me he is fighting for custody of our 3 kids and will keep me tied up in court for 2 years. He said we can't even go before the judge until sometime in October. In the meantime, he is walking in on me when I am in the bathroom, unlocking my locked bedroom door and barging in without knocking, and staring at me horribly trying to degrade and humiliate me so I will leave.

Can someone PLEASE, PLEASE help me? I cannot move out or he will say I abandoned the kids (I would never leave them with his druggie self anyway), I cannot take the kids elsewhere and he will not leave.

I am so deperate.....he is killing me emotionally and it has only been 3 days (I just found out Monday that he had filed)......I do not see how I can go on like this until October.

We have been married for 12 1/2 years and own our home (no mortgage) and both of our names are on the deed.

Would I be eligible to collect alimony from his social security disability payment?

How can I separate from him NOW and not have to leave my children?? I can't take this mistreatment. PLEASE help me.

Thanks so much.What is the name of your state?

[BelizeBreeze]

Then leave. Unless you can show me a state statute or federal law that requires the MALE of the marriage to be forced out of his home.

[LAWMAN]

Originally Posted by BelizeBreeze

Then leave. Unless you can show me a state statute or federal law that requires the MALE of the marriage to be forced out of his home.

My response:

I hope you don't mind BB, but since we're dealing with the law of Alabama, Mobile County, I need to make a slight change to your response. To make it correct, I believe it should have said: "Then leave. Unless you can show me a state statute or federal law that requires the MALE of the marriage to be forced out of his single-wide trailer."

IAAL

[BelizeBreeze]

Originally Posted by LAWMAN

My response:

I hope you don't mind BB, but since we're dealing with the law of Alabama, Mobile County, I need to make a slight change to your response. To make it correct, I believe it should have said: "Then leave. Unless you can show me a state statute or federal law that requires the MALE of the marriage to be forced out of his single-wide trailer."

IAAL

Never mind you aiding and abetting sheriff....

Signed,

Deputy dawg

[ceara19]

Originally Posted by stacey88

State: Alabama, Mobile County

Can someone PLEASE, PLEASE help me? I cannot move out or he will say I abandoned the kids (I would never leave them with his druggie self anyway), I cannot take the kids elsewhere and he will not leave.

Why can't you take your kids and move out?

[LAWMAN]

Originally Posted by ceara19

Why can't you take your kids and move out?

My response:

Care to take a guess?

Well, I'll give it a shot. She's a high school dropout, and barely worked a day in her life. She married, had children, and her husband never wanted her to work; ergo, she has no marketable skills. The best she can do is say, "Would you like fries with that?" That type of job won't get a roof over her head.

She is more than likely the typical stereotype for Alabama: "Barefoot and pregnant."

IAAL

[stacey88]

I'm sorry......my mistake......I thought there would be intelligent people here that would want to help me out, but I see it is a bunch of bitter, insecure people who have nothing better to do with their time than insult people.

I came on this forum to seek competent advice, but don't you people know that whoever leaves is marked as "abandoning the homestead"? I CANNOT leave or he will play the abandonment card.

I am a small business owner - I own a storefront and 2 other highly successful e-commerce businesses and have 4 full-time employees. I have no debts and my businesses have very little overhead. Lawman, as for your "marketable skills" comment, I AM the boss so the only person I have to sell myself to is ME......only you idiots that have to depend on someone else's company for a paycheck have to "market yourself". Moron that you are.

We also own our home outright - we have no mortgage. I drew up the floor plan of my 2,400 sq ft home myself and we subcontracted the work and built it ourselves in 2000.

My husband WAS highly successful himself until his drug addiction (valuim, exstasy, somas, among others). I have been doing what I could to help him, but I am in the way of his drug highs now.

My parents have been married for 38 years and his for 41 years - each of them have only been married one time. Divorce has never been an option in either of our families and his parents are not supporting him in this.

I cannot take my kids from the home and leave with them - he can charge me with kidnapping them as he still has parental rights just like I do (I know I wouldn't allow him to take the children if I had filed for divorce). If I could get legal permission to move and take the children, I would. Fortunately my children are 12, 10 and 7 - old enough to know that their dad's lifestyle is WRONG.

I have spoke with my attorney this morning and he said I cannot leave and take the children and neither can my husband - we have to stay in this situation until we go before the judge in October. Only if my husband physically beats me can they file an emergency order to remove him from the home prior to our October hearing.

Lesson learned.....I will never be married again.

[stacey88]

I'm sorry......my mistake......I thought there would be intelligent people here that would want to help me out, but I see it is a bunch of bitter, insecure people who have nothing better to do with their time than insult people.

I came on this forum to seek competent advice, but don't you people know that whoever leaves is marked as "abandoning the homestead"? I CANNOT leave or he will play the abandonment card.

I am a small business owner - I own a storefront and 2 other highly successful e-commerce businesses and have 4 full-time employees. I have no debts and my businesses have very little overhead. Lawman, as for your "marketable skills" comment, I AM the boss so the only person I have to sell myself to is ME......only you idiots that have to depend on someone else's company for a paycheck have to "market yourself". Moron that you are.

We also own our home outright - we have no mortgage. I drew up the floor plan of my 2,400 sq ft home myself and we subcontracted the work and built it ourselves in 2000.

My husband WAS highly successful himself until his drug addiction (valuim, exstasy, somas, among others). I have been doing what I could to help him, but I am in the way of his drug highs now.

My parents have been married for 38 years and his for 41 years - each of them have only been married one time. Divorce has never been an option in either of our families and his parents are not supporting him in this.

I cannot take my kids from the home and leave with them - he can charge me with kidnapping them as he still has parental rights just like I do (I know I wouldn't allow him to take the children if I had filed for divorce). If I could get legal permission to move and take the children, I would. Fortunately my children are 12, 10 and 7 - old enough to know that their dad's lifestyle is WRONG.

I have spoke with my attorney this morning and he said I cannot leave and take the children and neither can my husband - we have to stay in this situation until we go before the judge in October. Only if my husband physically beats me can they file an emergency order to remove him from the home prior to our October hearing.

Lesson learned.....I will never be married again.

[ceara19]

If you LEAVE the kids with him when YOU LEAVE, that MAY be considered abandonment. But here's a wild thought......TAKE THE KIDS WITH YOU!

Originally Posted by stacey88

I'm sorry......my mistake......I thought there would be intelligent people here that would want to help me out, but I see it is a bunch of bitter, insecure people who have nothing better to do with their time than insult people.

I came on this forum to seek competent advice, but don't you people know that whoever leaves is marked as "abandoning the homestead"? I CANNOT leave or he will play the abandonment card.

I am a small business owner - I own a storefront and 2 other highly successful e-commerce businesses and have 4 full-time employees. I have no debts and my businesses have very little overhead. Lawman, as for your "marketable skills" comment, I AM the boss so the only person I have to sell myself to is ME......only you idiots that have to depend on someone else's company for a paycheck have to "market yourself". Moron that you are.

We also own our home outright - we have no mortgage. I drew up the floor plan of my 2,400 sq ft home myself and we subcontracted the work and built it ourselves in 2000.

My husband WAS highly successful himself until his drug addiction (valuim, exstasy, somas, among others). I have been doing what I could to help him, but I am in the way of his drug highs now.

My parents have been married for 38 years and his for 41 years - each of them have only been married one time. Divorce has never been an option in either of our families and his parents are not supporting him in this.

I cannot take my kids from the home and leave with them - he can charge me with kidnapping them as he still has parental rights just like I do (I know I wouldn't allow him to take the children if I had filed for divorce). If I could get legal permission to move and take the children, I would. Fortunately my children are 12, 10 and 7 - old enough to know that their dad's lifestyle is WRONG.

I have spoke with my attorney this morning and he said I cannot leave and take the children and neither can my husband - we have to stay in this situation until we go before the judge in October. Only if my husband physically beats me can they file an emergency order to remove him from the home prior to our October hearing.

Lesson learned.....I will never be married again.

Q1: If you have an attorney....why did you post your question here?

Q2: If you are soooo successful.....why do you need/want alimony?

Q3. If you are soooo concerned about the current events, your privacy, the threats, etc.,...AGAIN why are you concerned about alimony?

I must add that there are very intelligent people here, which is why they chose NOT to humor ridiculous threads with legal responses. It's a real waste of brain power.

" HE/SHE WHO CLAIMS TO HAVE EVERYTHING....HAS NOTHING"!!! Just a little FYI

[LdiJ]

It is not kidnapping if you leave the home and take the children with you. You also have full parental rights and are perfectly free to do so.

[CandiceH]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

It is not kidnapping if you leave the home and take the children with you. You also have full parental rights and are perfectly free to do so.

He is playing with her head. OP, get a consult with a local attorney and he/she will tell you the same thing as LdiJ stated! Take the kids and LEAVE~!
If he truly is a druggie, he will be happy to be on his own, not having to take care of anyone and free to do as he pleases. Dont listen to HIM, listen to an ATTORNEY!

[EileenB]

Stacey88:
Don't listen to Lawman - he posted under a different name to me and basically said the same thing since I'm from Arkansas. (I have a B.A. , can read and do wear shoes). Obviously, he's someone with really low self esteem.

Proctect your kids first, go to an attorney, keep a journal and write down all questions you have for your attorney.

This is a strange site. Sometimes you get really great help - other times people are just sitting around ready to make fun of you. I have no idea why. Good Luck.

Reasoning with an addict like your husband - is not going to work.

[weenor]

[quote=stacey88]
I cannot take my kids from the home and leave with them - he can charge me with kidnapping them as he still has parental rights just like I do (I know I wouldn't allow him to take the children if I had filed for divorce). No he can't charge you with kidnapping. However, without solid proof of domestic violence or drug use in front of children, I would not recommend that you leave home without a court stamp due to semantics. However....see below.

If I could get legal permission to move and take the children, I would. Why can't you get permission? You need to retain a lawyer, not just speak to one. If there are sufficient grounds (reasons) an emergency petition regarding the marital home and temporary custody can be filed and the lawyer can get an expedited court date by going to the judge's office and getting one...Of course there has to be a better reason to force him out of the home than the fact he is leering at you.

I have spoke with my attorney this morning and he said I cannot leave and take the children and neither can my husband - we have to stay in this situation until we go before the judge in October. Only if my husband physically beats me can they file an emergency order to remove him from the home prior to our October hearing.

This would indicate to me that the attorney listened to your story and did not believe there were sufficient grounds to force him out. [quote]

Retain a lawyer and keep yourself busy in the meantime. If the action is filed in Mobile County make sure you have local counsel and do not go outside the count for a lawyer. If you plan on using his drug use for grounds to obtain primary residential custody then you had better have proof- medical records or drug tests or both.

[LdiJ]

BS!!!!

Unless mom is planning on leaving the state..or perhaps the community... with the kids there is absolutely no reason why she can't leave the home and take the kids with her. It will not hurt her case whatsoever to do so.