Post Separation & Equitable Distribution

[tozzy]

What is the name of your state? NC
Here is my quesion:

1)
My wife expects me to pay her each month to support her while I pay on (Living in) another residence. There are no court orders or post separation agreements or a legal separation. I am Paying $200 / month on our CC debt, her water & sewer, Paid property taxes, and paid our mortgage this month because she was late. and she has agreed to pay the Low Mortgage. I am maxed financially, and she doesnt work at all, is 33, healthy and is on a trust fund. Am i expected to pay her or would she be successful in a post separation suit?

2)
Also, since this is going to divorce, Should I tell her right now that I want everything split 50/50 (Equitable state) I previously told her that I would give her the house, even wrote out a peice of paper telling her so (NOT SIGNED) but that was under the pretense we would reconcile, that didnt happen. She feels that since 12 years ago her parents gave us a $70,000 house (While Married),
and since we have both purchased a differnet house in OUR names, this home being worth $180K she expects me to give it to her. My question is will I recieve half of everything? House, Debt, furnishings?

[VeronicaGia]

If you want to protect your credit, continue paying the mortgage if it is in your name. IF not, tell her to get lost until a court orders you to pay something.

You need to file for divorce first.

[tozzy]

Thank you for your response

I actually want her to file for legal separation because I can't afford it and she wants to do a legal separation I assume so that she can get property settled.
But As I mentioned, she thinks she is getting the entire home, so should I tell her now that I want everything split 50/50?

And with the details I gave, would she be successful in post separation support?

One last thought, will the fact that she refuses to work, and recieves $$gifts and 11K per year in a trust fund hurt or help me?
Will I have to pay for her to get some sort of skill? She is healthy & 33 and will be inheriting millions in a few years???????

[tozzy]

Could someone please try to give me some answers?

I have to act on matters this week, please.

[stealth2]

Equitable distribution does not mean that everything is split right down the middle. Generally, the whole ball of wax will be split. For example, you may get to keep your entire 401k, while she gets to keep the house rather than having the both split. Also, equitable doesn't necessarily mean 50/50 - there may be other factors involved that make it more like 45/55 or 40/60.

I'd really suggest that you speak with an attorney. Depending on the length of yoru marriage (sounds like > 10 years) and the terms of her trust - she may or may not be eligible for spousal support. The way the house(s) are titled may also make a difference in how they are allocated during a divorce.

[tozzy]

I guess I just wanted to start the negotiations. I agree, I may not get the entire 50/50, I just need her to realize that I cannot just roll over but at least she could start the negotiations, you think?

Also, we have been married 13 years, she won't work, was in another state for two months while our house set empty. She blew thru $4000 in just 3 weeks (parents gave her) She is a trust fund girl and expects me to give her the home and I take all our 10k debt. (Keep in mind there was infidelity on my part)

Please respond.

[IrishLady47]

You know, there's a guy named Tyandi who has been posting for the last 3 months about the exact same situation you're in, same state, too. He has an attorney, why don't you ask him what his attorney advised him to do?

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by tozzy

I guess I just wanted to start the negotiations. I agree, I may not get the entire 50/50, I just need her to realize that I cannot just roll over but at least she could start the negotiations, you think?

Also, we have been married 13 years, she won't work, was in another state for two months while our house set empty. She blew thru $4000 in just 3 weeks (parents gave her) She is a trust fund girl and expects me to give her the home and I take all our 10k debt. (Keep in mind there was infidelity on my part)

Please respond.

Do a search for your state statutes and that will tell you whether or not your state recognizes fault in a divorce. It may not even matter (I didn't check the state because I am tired and it is too dang early for me to start checking every statute). And YOU could take it upon yourself to start negotiations.