pre-separation with children - where do I stand?

[ExpatwithQs]

What is the name of your state? MD

Husband and I have not got on since the beginning of last pregnancy. Married for ten years - August 1997 and have two children under three years of age. I am a British citizen and was married in the UK to an American citizen. We own a single family house here in MD and the children are watched during the day by his mother while we work. I left my family, career and life to be with him. We live in his home town and I don't see that he has made the same sacrifices. What are my options in this situation? Where do I stand with regards to the children, savings, 401K, the house.
My husband controls all of the money and does not share the information with me. He would probably tell me if I asked but not show me anything. I have a student loan debt that he is making me pay off on my own. I got this loan while we were together but not married. I could have paid this off years ago except he will not let me use our money and the money I had went to pay half the cost of renovating a condo we have since sold. So I pay for the loan and he takes the difference and adds it to his 401K. I do not have my own bank account, this is all shared and pay the minimum into my 401K.
I would want to stay friends and do the best for our children but I think he would get really mad and make things very difficult.
I wanted to add that I pay for the family healthcare insurance. He has his own separate insurance through his work but I pay for the children.
Thanks for your help.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by ExpatwithQs

What is the name of your state? MD

Husband and I have not got on since the beginning of last pregnancy. Married for ten years - August 1997 and have two children under three years of age. I am a British citizen and was married in the UK to an American citizen. We own a single family house here in MD and the children are watched during the day by his mother while we work. I left my family, career and life to be with him. We live in his home town and I don't see that he has made the same sacrifices. What are my options in this situation? Where do I stand with regards to the children, savings, 401K, the house.
My husband controls all of the money and does not share the information with me. He would probably tell me if I asked but not show me anything. I have a student loan debt that he is making me pay off on my own. I got this loan while we were together but not married. I could have paid this off years ago except he will not let me use our money and the money I had went to pay half the cost of renovating a condo we have since sold. So I pay for the loan and he takes the difference and adds it to his 401K. I do not have my own bank account, this is all shared and pay the minimum into my 401K.
I would want to stay friends and do the best for our children but I think he would get really mad and make things very difficult.
I wanted to add that I pay for the family healthcare insurance. He has his own separate insurance through his work but I pay for the children.
Thanks for your help.

You are each entitled to 1/2 of the assets that accrued during the marriage, which includes the house, cars, 401k accounts, bank accounts and any other assets. You are both responsible for 1/2 of the debts that accrued during the marriage as well.

You will be solely responsible for your student loan debt, since it accrued before the marriage.

I suggest that you start gathering all of the financial records that you can if you think that your husband would not be cooperative.