Pro Se Divorce Question

[gloriagood]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VA

I filed for divorce pro se a couple of months ago. I haven't seen my husband in 10 years and have no idea where he is (I served him by publication). The court gave instructions for how to do the divorce yourself, including how to draft the Complaint. It says that I must have a statement in the Complaint which states whether or not my husband is in the military (either yes or no). Okay, I put that my husband is not in the military since to the best of my knowledge he isn't. Later in the instructions it says that I have to prove each of the statements in my Complaint with corroborating testimony.

My question: How can I prove the statement about him not being in the military? I don't know anybody who knows my husband and I have no idea what happened to him. Is that something that I will not need to prove with corroborating testimony? Is my good faith guess enough? If not, then it would seem that it's impossible to get a divorce when your spouse abandons you and you don't know his whereabouts.

Anybody have any thoughts? Thanks.

[mistoffolees]

Originally Posted by gloriagood

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VA

I filed for divorce pro se a couple of months ago. I haven't seen my husband in 10 years and have no idea where he is (I served him by publication). The court gave instructions for how to do the divorce yourself, including how to draft the Complaint. It says that I must have a statement in the Complaint which states whether or not my husband is in the military (either yes or no). Okay, I put that my husband is not in the military since to the best of my knowledge he isn't. Later in the instructions it says that I have to prove each of the statements in my Complaint with corroborating testimony.

My question: How can I prove the statement about him not being in the military? I don't know anybody who knows my husband and I have no idea what happened to him. Is that something that I will not need to prove with corroborating testimony? Is my good faith guess enough? If not, then it would seem that it's impossible to get a divorce when your spouse abandons you and you don't know his whereabouts.

Anybody have any thoughts? Thanks.

Filing for divorce by publication is not generally something that should be done pro se. You're coming across some of the reasons.

[gloriagood]

I am surprised that being pro se has anything to do with it. Wouldn't a lawyer have the same issue?

[mistoffolees]

Originally Posted by gloriagood

I am surprised that being pro se has anything to do with it. Wouldn't a lawyer have the same issue?

No. A lawyer wouldn't need to be running around in circles asking the very basic questions you're asking.

[gloriagood]

Originally Posted by mistoffolees

No. A lawyer wouldn't need to be running around in circles asking the very basic questions you're asking.

LOL.

Well that could be said of anybody who ever handled any legal matter pro se and had a question (probably 95% of those who ask questions in this forum).

But that doesn't change the fact that a lawyer still has to file a complaint, the complaint still has to state whether the defendant is in the military, and the statements in the complaint still have to be proved in court.

So, my question is not the result of a unique situation created by my decision to file for divorce pro se.

As you pointed out, this is a basic question. So what's the basic answer?

[Ohiogal]

Read the local rules. The rules of civil procedure. The rules of evidence. Read case law. You want someone to walk you through every step of the way.

[gloriagood]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

Read the local rules. The rules of civil procedure. The rules of evidence. Read case law. You want someone to walk you through every step of the way.

This is a forum where people ask legal questions, is it not? Was my legal question not appropriate?

As for wanting someone to walk me through every step. Hardly! Where do you get off making that ridiculous claim? I wrote and filed all the legal documents myself, completed the service by publication myself, and scheduled a court date with the judge's clerk myself. And I did it all without any help from anybody in this forum (or anywhere else for that matter).

[mistoffolees]

Originally Posted by gloriagood

This is a forum where people ask legal questions, is it not? Was my legal question not appropriate?

As for wanting someone to walk me through every step. Hardly! Where do you get off making that ridiculous claim?

From reading your questions. Your questions establish that you really don't know what you're doing. It would take far more help than people on this board are willing to provide to take you from the level you're at to the level it would require to properly file this type of case.

[gloriagood]

Originally Posted by mistoffolees

From reading your questions. Your questions establish that you really don't know what you're doing. It would take far more help than people on this board are willing to provide to take you from the level you're at to the level it would require to properly file this type of case.

What a bunch of nonsense!

First, my case was already "properly" filed long ago. The judge's clerk has to review the pleadings to be sure they're correct before a court date will even be given. My pleadings were reviewed for correctness and I was given a court date over a month ago.

Second, anybody who knew the answer to my question could have written "no, you won't need to prove that," or "yes, you will need to prove it so you'll need to find a witness." How hard is that? I wasn't asking for detailed instructions about how to litigate a complicated class action lawsuit against Big Tobacco. My lord. What "level" do you think I need to be at in order to understand the "yes" or "no" that would have answered my question?

Third, is an answer to my "basic question" really far more help than anybody on this board can supply? Sadly, you seem to be right about that last point. It appears to be a case of the blind leading the blind over here.

Tell you what: When I find out the answer I'll let you know so you can actually help somebody else who may come here with the same question in the future. Sound good?

[mistoffolees]

Originally Posted by gloriagood

What a bunch of nonsense!

First, my case was already "properly" filed long ago. The judge's clerk has to review the pleadings to be sure they're correct before a court date will even be given. My pleadings were reviewed for correctness and I was given a court date over a month ago.

Second, anybody who knew the answer to my question could have written "no, you won't need to prove that," or "yes, you will need to prove it so you'll need to find a witness." How hard is that? I wasn't asking for detailed instructions about how to litigate a complicated class action lawsuit against Big Tobacco. My lord. What "level" do you think I need to be at in order to understand the "yes" or "no" that would have answered my question?

Third, is an answer to my "basic question" really far more help than anybody on this board can supply? Sadly, you seem to be right about that last point. It appears to be a case of the blind leading the blind over here.

Tell you what: When I find out the answer I'll let you know so you can actually help somebody else who may come here with the same question in the future. Sound good?

Did it ever occur to you that:
1. You don't know if your case has been properly filed - and you won't know AT LEAST until after the hearing. Even then, your stbx can challenge it if you didn't file it properly even if it gets past the judge.
2. Your question doesn't have a simple 'yes' or 'no' answer.
3. Furthermore, you're asking some of the wrong questions.

Go ahead and dig yourself a hole. Maybe you'll get lucky and it will never come back to haunt you. But the accumulated experience of the people on this board (including lawyers and judges) is that filing pro se in a divorce by publication case is not a good idea because it is quite complicated and prone to error.

[gloriagood]

Originally Posted by mistoffolees

But the accumulated experience of the people on this board (including lawyers and judges) is that filing pro se in a divorce by publication case is not a good idea because it is quite complicated and prone to error.

This is the second time you mentioned publication as if it makes a huge difference. Do you not realize that the same issue would be present regardless of whether I served my husband via publication or by process server?

Either way, the complaint still has to state whether my husband is in the military, and I still have to prove the statements in the complaint! The actual act of serving him via publication has nothing to do with it.

You clearly do not know much about the subject.

[mistoffolees]

Originally Posted by gloriagood

This is the second time you mentioned publication as if it makes a huge difference. Do you not realize that the same issue would be present regardless of whether I served my husband via publication or by process server?

Either way, the complaint still has to state whether my husband is in the military, and I still have to prove the statements in the complaint! The actual act of serving him via publication has nothing to do with it.

You clearly do not know much about the subject.

I know enough to know that getting a divorce by publication is very, very different than getting one by service - which you apparently refuse to understand.

Lots of people (including attorneys and judges) here have posted repeatedly in many, many threads that getting a divorce by publication is not generally a DIY activity and a lawyer should be used.

You're free to ignore the universal advice, but stop whining about no one answering your questions.

[gloriagood]

Originally Posted by mistoffolees

I know enough to know that getting a divorce by publication is very, very different than getting one by service - which you apparently refuse to understand.

Irrelevant to my question.

Originally Posted by mistoffolees

Lots of people (including attorneys and judges) here have posted repeatedly in many, many threads that getting a divorce by publication is not generally a DIY activity and a lawyer should be used.

Irrelevant to my question.

Originally Posted by mistoffolees

You're free to ignore the universal advice, but stop whining about no one answering your questions.

Irrelevant to my question.

By the way, I spoke to the judge's clerk. He informed me that I will not need corroborating testimony for the military statement. Only the grounds for divorce need to be corroborated. It took him about 7 seconds to answer that very simple question. Thanks for all your pointless posts.

[Ohiogal]

Bye. Have a good life.

[gloriagood]

Originally Posted by mistoffolees

I know enough to know that getting a divorce by publication is very, very different than getting one by service - which you apparently refuse to understand.

Lots of people (including attorneys and judges) here have posted repeatedly in many, many threads that getting a divorce by publication is not generally a DIY activity and a lawyer should be used.

Just thought I'd let you know that my hearing was this morning and my divorce was granted. If that was supposed to be difficult and should only be attempted by attorneys, then I'm in the wrong business since I found it to be a piece of cake. I have no idea why it intimidates you so much.