Proof of equity payment

[treees4ever]

What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania
My divorce was complete in early Mar 08. It was an amicable/no-fault divorce with few issues. Per the terms of our separation agreement, I quit claimed the house deed to my ex and he assumed the mortgage in late April 08. Also per our sep agreement, he has until August 08 to pay me a certain equity sum. However, he verbally told me in April that it will not take him until August and said he had a loan lined up and pre-approved with his bank and it would move very quickly. About every other week, we talk and he gives me an update. Each time we speak he assures me everything is in the works and gives me a NEW estimate for when he will have the money. The last estimate he gave me was that he would have the money yesterday (which didn't happen) and he now claims it will be SOMETIME before July 11th. He claims he cannot get a specific date from his bank. He also refuses to go to his bank any day other than Friday to check on the status. He refuses to meet me at his bank and talk to them together. I'm starting to think he is not being honest and he seems to have suddenly turned bitter about the situation, which was not the case until now. He knows that I am in the process of purchasing another home and that the timing of this equity payment is something I need to know. Do I have a right to request proof that he actually took out a loan to pay me? Do I have a right to ask him for a statement from his bank that says he will have the money on such and such a date?

[mistoffolees]

He has until August to pay you. If he pays you earlier, great. But you have not right to pester him to do things your way. You certainly have no right to demand proof of anything. As for the bitterness, I'd probably be bitter, too, if my ex started demanding all the things you're asking of him.

IF you get past the due date and he hasn't paid you, then you can complain.

Sheesh.

[treees4ever]

I get what you're saying. Pestering/demanding are a bit of an exaggeration in our case, though. He initiates contact as often as I do, about this and other matters that are of importance to him.
Here's the sticking point for me:
I never asked for anything early. My expectations are only such because of what information he has given me for the past 2 months. I don't know what weight verbal agreements and promises hold but we've had MANY things not covered in the sep agreement that we had to come to terms on verbally. So how binding are these things? How wise is it to repeatedly give false information about a serious matter? Why even make those promises in the first place (i.e. you'll have your payment early, you'll have your payment on xx date) unless you're just being spiteful?

I've only asked him for something concrete, which seems reasonable after what he's told me. And having worked in the lending industry, I also know that lenders are capable of telling you when your loan will be available. So I'm being lied to. And I called his bluff by pressing for specifics. But I suppose there's no law against screwing with someone's head...

[mistoffolees]

Originally Posted by treees4ever

But I suppose there's no law against screwing with someone's head...

No, there isn't. But you should stop it, anyway.

Whether YOU call it pestering or not, it sure sounds that way: "He also refuses to go to his bank any day other than Friday to check on the status. He refuses to meet me at his bank and talk to them together. I'm starting to think he is not being honest and he seems to have suddenly turned bitter about the situation, which was not the case until now."

Your continued use of 'refuse' indicates that you're making demands that you have no right to make. And his becoming bitter is a sign that you've way overstepped your bounds.

YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DEMAND ANY OF THIS. Get it?