Protecting myself

What is the name of your state? Michigan

What action can I take to protect myself from my husbands debts. He is recklessly spending money, opening charge accounts, and taking money from our bank account. Please help!

you can do. First, I suggest you read these links thoroughly to acquaint yourself with your rights if you chose divorce.

[url]http://divorcenet.com/mi/mi-divorce.html[/url]

[url]http://www.divorcesource.com/info/divorcelaws/michigan.shtml[/url]

As I see your situation, you have two choices because your husband is a compulsive spender. Either get him (and you) into marriage counseling asap to explore his need for "immediate self gratification" through spending, or file for divorce and or "separate maintenance" immediately. In Michigan according the above sources you can be divorced in 60 days without children and 6 months with children. Typically the day you file for divorce/separate maintenance will stop the clock on your co-obligation for his debts.

Plus many states recognize that your husband has sort of "squandered" (there is a technical term for this but I don't recall it at the moment) the "marital estate" by his compulsive spending. And this may become a factor when it comes to dividing the "marital estate" because you may be awarded more than 50% of the assets and less of the debt. Good luck to you - I was married to a compulsive spender myself and it's very disheartening because you probably feel like I did - that he was in total control and unfortunately there's no support groups for compulsive spenders and their "victims".

If you don't want to consider a divorce (I am now both divorced AND bankrupt because my ex-husband's uncontrolled spending) please consider counselling and make an appointment today or as soon as possible. If this spending thing is a relatively new thing, your husband probably has something else going on in his life: depression, problems at work, even having an affair. Try to get your husband to try to talk with you if you can. If he's at all like my xh though he won't see his behavior as a problem - no addict does until they hit "rock bottom". I sure wish I had some words of comfort for you.

Take care.

PS: [url]www.webmd.com[/url] is a good site for info on depression and/or various emotional disorders.

[nailtech]

may I also suggest opening your own bank account in your name only, and get your name off of his and his checks.... ASAP....

I feel for you and know exactly how you feel. My hubby was the same way. He had his own business and was getting and spending money without my knowledge or consent. He was racking up charges on credit cards and overdrafting checking accounts like it was nothing. Eventually we did have to file bankrupcy. Fortunately, we stayed married but we had to come to a major understanding. First, I went and got my own back account and closed all joint accounts we had. Second, I sent certified letters to all my credit card companies (they were cards in my name only) stating that hubby was no longer authorized to use them. Next, I purchased a vehicle in my name only. Finally, I made a deal with him that I would refinance the house to pay off the rest of the debts he had incurred if he would sign the house over to me. I also began filing taxes seperately since he started his business. Now we have no debts or accounts jointly at all. I also managed to get the monthly debt of our living expenses down so that I could manage it all on my income alone. That way, I do not need to have his income for support. I know that does not sound like a very romantic way to live but I have to say, it has saved our marriage. It also opened hubbies eyes to how his spending had affected our marriage. After I took away his sources of getting money (credit cards and my work check) he had no way to spend it and now is acutally becoming quite frugal with money. It took a few years and a lot of planning but I found it to be well worth the effort. Good luck.