Proving Adultry

[SZQ_Public]

Massachusetts:

I want to sue my husband for divorce on the grounds of adultry.

I have an Medical examiner report where he states that he is currently not married, but has a two year old from current relationship.. (girl was born before we met and were married)

I have Valentine's Day Card from other woman..

I have phone records which frequent calls..

Is that enough or do I need a PI and pictures?

thanks

 

[curtisd]

curious

i take it mass. doesnt have no fault divorces or is their an advantage to being the injured party?

 

[SZQ_Public]

Yes, MA does have no fault, but since there is fault here why would I agree to a no-fault??

It's not about money or any material advantage, it's just about having the truth documented.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Yes, MA does have no fault, but since there is fault here why would I agree to a no-fault??

It's not about money or any material advantage, it's just about having the truth documented.

My response:

Ah, yes !

The old "Pound 'o Flesh" theory !

You know, you're absolutely correct. It's clients like you that fill pockets like mine - - and all in the name of "getting even" !

But then, 5, 10, or 20 years from now, nobody cares. In the end, a divorce is a divorce is a divorce. The only difference is how much money you're willing to waste and shovel into the pockets of some attorney on an issue that's already dead.

IAAL

 

[SZQ_Public]

Thanks for your opinion. But in my opinion people should be accountable for their actions. And I'll spend what ever it takes, then (since it is his fault) I'll request that he is responsible for my legal fees..

But whatever it costs I feel is worth regaining my dignity. It's not about "a pound of flesh", it's about my self worth, and I won't put a price on that.

 

[grandpabri]

I agree with IAAL. Fight those battles that you have a reasonable chance of winning.

Take the money that you would spend on proving adultery and use it to get more of his assets. Maybe make a case for lifetime alimony?

Remember, the best revenge is living well.

Also remember, just because you ask for it (lawyer's fees) does not mean you will get it.

Good Luck to you

 

[SZQ_Public]

HEY I AM ALWAYS LIABLE - Instead of giving me your opinion on my motives, why don't you give me your legal opinion on my question. That would be much more helpful. And I did think that was what this board was about - legal advice - not useless personal judgements.

thanks!

 

[SZQ_Public]

thanks grandpabri, but there are no assets. There is an unresolved workman's comp case that will provide him with a substantial amount of cash, but the only thing I was looking to gain out of that was my legal fee's.

I am living well.. much better than him. I can work and I make a damn good salary.. I was supporting him... He hasn't worked in four years and probably never will because of injury.. (of course if I was really looking for revenge, I could cast alot of doubt on the merits of his workman's comp case.. I know he is milking it, I know he is lying to the drs, and I know I can prove it...)

But like I said before, it's not about money, or revenge...

 

[curtisd]

Yes, MA does have no fault, but since there is fault here why would I agree to a no-fault??

It's not about money or any material advantage, it's just about having the truth documented.

i see a condradiction here,do you?

 

[SZQ_Public]

No, please enlighten me!

going no-fault would mean I agree that it is nobody's fault - I can't do that..

I'm not looking to "gain" anything.. I just want the record straight about why we are divorcing...

From experience I know that people sometimes change history to suit themselves. My husband has done that before - he conviently forgets things that might show him in a less than positive light.. And he lies..

What is so bad about wanting the truth right there in a legal document?

Does that make me a "bad" person??

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

No, please enlighten me!

going no-fault would mean I agree that it is nobody's fault - I can't do that..

I'm not looking to "gain" anything.. I just want the record straight about why we are divorcing...

From experience I know that people sometimes change history to suit themselves. My husband has done that before - he conviently forgets things that might show him in a less than positive light.. And he lies..

What is so bad about wanting the truth right there in a legal document?

Does that make me a "bad" person??

My response:

No, it doesn't make you a bad person - - it just makes you a poorer person. You'll be paying big-time for a "principle" and "bragging rights" that, like I said, in 5 years (probably less) no one will care about. So what if he was the biggest
b a s t a r d on four wheels ? Who's going to care later on ?

The only thing that will care is your bank account, and your attorney (who's encouraging you because it means more money for him / her).

So, if you want to fight, and pay for a "principle" and "bragging rights", it's your money and your business. All I'm saying is that no one but you will care later on down the line - - and that's a "right" that is going to cost you dearly in the fight to prove your "principle".

But, as an attorney myself, I wish you more power to prove your "principle" - - because I love it when one of my brethren become richer at the expense of a client who's fighting for a "principle".

IAAL

 

[Kelly143]

In my opinion, I think you should just walk away. You will have your pride, and you any anybody important to you will know the truth. He will be gone, that is the whole point of the divorce. Unless you are going to carry the divorce judgement around with you to prove that he is a cheater and that's why you got divorced, then people will be taking your word for it anyway. Keep your pride, and walk away with your head up. People will only respect you for it. Plus, as IAAL says, you'll save a TON of money. Don't give your ex that much value.

 

[kuiperinc]

i agree. save yourself time, money and aggravation.. no one
will care what the charges are later on. you're lucky ma is a no-fault. nj isn't and the courts are filled with bogus charges that usually get dragged out 18mo or more just so the parties can settle on 18mo lack of affection, etc. it's ridiculous and costly. and at that point, everyone involved is tired and realizes (most of the time) they should have just waited 18mo and it would have been alot cheaper.

 

[SZQ_Public]

Thanks everyone for your advice. Truth is none of it matters anymore. I no longer feel I have the right to sue him for divorce on the grounds of adultery. And suddenly I'm not even angry anymore.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

And suddenly I'm not even angry anymore.

My response:

That's okay. We understand. It's a terrible thing to happen to someone when their emotions are being torn apart, either through menopause or bi-polar syndrome. Life's emotions are up one day, and down the next. It's a horrible roller-coaster ride.

Good luck.

IAAL