publication divorce?

[jacqlynbrooke]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? iowa


my husband and i have been seperated almost three years now. he is in ther army and for some reason ignores any and all requests to get a divorce my best guess because he is getting paid quite a bit from the army due to marriage. I have made several attempts throughout the years to get a divorce and he acts as if its not important. I now have a new family a beautiful little girl and her father and I lvoe each other very much and would like to be married. I wannot afford to pay a lawyer to do a divorce in which i was married in another state? Do you think publication divorce is my best bet? please let me know!!!!!!!!!!! thanks
jacqlyn

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? iowa


my husband and i have been seperated almost three years now. he is in ther army and for some reason ignores any and all requests to get a divorce my best guess because he is getting paid quite a bit from the army due to marriage. I have made several attempts throughout the years to get a divorce and he acts as if its not important. I now have a new family a beautiful little girl and her father and I lvoe each other very much and would like to be married. I wannot afford to pay a lawyer to do a divorce in which i was married in another state? Do you think publication divorce is my best bet? please let me know!!!!!!!!!!! thanks
jacqlyn

If you know where your husband is and can serve him, then you simply file for divorce. You do not need his signature to get divorced. You can file for divorce in your state.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

I now have a new family a beautiful little girl and her father

Are you saying that you had a child with another man, while married to the fella in the Army?

 

[nextwife]

I have made several attempts throughout the years to get a divorce and he acts as if its not important. I now have a new family a beautiful little girl and her father and I lvoe each other . . . jacqlyn

Evidentally, you didn't think a divorce was very important either, else you WOULD have reversed the order in which you sought it..

 

[>Charlotte<]

Iowa Statutes
252A.3
(8)(b)...If the mother was married, at the time of conception, birth, or at any time during the period between conception and birth of the child, to an individual other than the person admitting paternity, the individual to whom the mother was married at the time of conception, birth, or at any time during the period between conception and birth must deny paternity in order to establish the paternity of the person admitting paternity upon the sole basis of the admission.

 

[LdiJ]

Iowa Statutes
252A.3
(8)(b)...If the mother was married, at the time of conception, birth, or at any time during the period between conception and birth of the child, to an individual other than the person admitting paternity, the individual to whom the mother was married at the time of conception, birth, or at any time during the period between conception and birth must deny paternity in order to establish the paternity of the person admitting paternity upon the sole basis of the admission.

Yeah, but they can do that all at once, with one DNA test. However, I would just about guess that the actual father signed the AOP and is on the BC. Yeah, they weren't supposed to do that, but I bet its done.

 

[>Charlotte<]

Yeah, but they can do that all at once, with one DNA test. However, I would just about guess that the actual father signed the AOP and is on the BC. Yeah, they weren't supposed to do that, but I bet its done.

My money was on the boyfriend doing the AOP without the father's denial, but either way...

Edited to ask: Unless I'm reading that wrong? Regardless of an AOP by the boyfriend, the husband must deny paternity in order for the boyfriend to be legally established as the father. Is that correct?

 

[Ohiogal]

Legally though the child is HIS because the boyfriend committed fraud if he signed the AOP because of the whole marriage thing. And therfore mom has quite a mess. Of course she needs to explain to her husband that he is required to support her and the child and therefore the BAH and such should be coming at least partially to her or she can go to his commander. The divorce court will need to sort out the paternity issue of the child born during the marriage but it might give her leverage. It could backfire however because army dad could attempt a custody/visitation battle.

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? iowa


my husband and i have been seperated almost three years now. he is in ther army and for some reason ignores any and all requests to get a divorce my best guess because he is getting paid quite a bit from the army due to marriage. I have made several attempts throughout the years to get a divorce and he acts as if its not important. I now have a new family a beautiful little girl and her father and I lvoe each other very much and would like to be married. I wannot afford to pay a lawyer to do a divorce in which i was married in another state? Do you think publication divorce is my best bet? please let me know!!!!!!!!!!! thanks
jacqlyn

Unfortunately, trying to divorce someone active in the military isn't going to be trivial. Given the grammar and spelling in your post, you're not going to want to do this on your own. Get an attorney.

 

[LdiJ]

My money was on the boyfriend doing the AOP without the father's denial, but either way...

Edited to ask: Unless I'm reading that wrong? Regardless of an AOP by the boyfriend, the husband must deny paternity in order for the boyfriend to be legally established as the father. Is that correct?

Technically, that is what the law says. That the husband must deny paternity in order for the real father to establish paternity.

However, if the real father is on the BC, his paternity IS legally established, no matter what the law says, and the husband would normally have no interest in challenging that. If the husband doesn't challenge it, its unlikely that a judge would either.

Think about it? The judge would have to order vital statistics to take the bio father off the BC, and put the husband on, and what judge is going to do that without ordering a DNA test first? Even if the husband were to challenge it for some wierd reason (at least in this particular case), what judge is not going to order a DNA test?

Those laws were written pre DNA. When it wasn't possible to truly establish paternity, and when it was far more in the best interests of a child, to be a child of a marriage.

I can't see any judge, in any state, forcing a bio-father to be taken off a BC and a husband put on, if a DNA test proves that the BC was correct...with this set of circumstances, nor could I see it surviving an appeal, because it IS possible to truly determine paternity now, and the higher courts would be forced to find the laws at least, unconstitutional as applied.

There is lots of case law out there confirms a husband's right to retain legal paternity when the husband has raised the child for many years and is truly the child's "daddy", and even case law that forces the husband to remain the child's legal father, in the same circumstances.

However, there is no case law out there that gives a husband legal fatherhood of a child that the husband never raised, and is not the biological father of. Or, at least no case law since DNA went into effect.

The state wants a father responsible for a child, but the state truly wants the correct father to be responsible.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

The OP might not know where the husband is, but I am quite certain that the Army does a pretty good job of keeping track of their members. As the wife, she certainly could ask the Army to track down her husband so that she could serve him with divorce papers.

 

[las365]

One of the unfortunate aspects of the modern fad (or whatever it is) of procreating without the benefit of marriage, or despite one's marriage to someone other than the biological father, is that hospitals have been thrust into the role of trying to give legal advice about and enforce laws relating to paternity. That has not been specifically mentioned by this OP, but I see it fairly frequently on these boards.

 

[>Charlotte<]

Thanks, L, for taking the time to explore my question. I agree with all you say, for practical purposes. I'd find it hard to believe that any biological father could not have his paternity eventually recognized if the right hoops were jumped through, regardless of any law or the marital status of the mother.

My caution to the OP, though, is that there are hoops. Plus, it sounds like her husband wants to drag his feet with the divorce. What with babies and DNA tests and such, he can at least gum up the works if he wants to be spiteful. A ridiculous waste of time on his part, but "reasonable" isn't a trait I apply to most divorcing spouses.

Perhaps it can all be accomplished simultaneously as you say, but I think it's safe to advise the OP that this is not going to be as easy as just publishing a notice in the paper.

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks, L, for taking the time to explore my question. I agree with all you say, for practical purposes. I'd find it hard to believe that any biological father could not have his paternity eventually recognized if the right hoops were jumped through, regardless of any law or the marital status of the mother.

My caution to the OP, though, is that there are hoops. Plus, it sounds like her husband wants to drag his feet with the divorce. What with babies and DNA tests and such, he can at least gum up the works if he wants to be spiteful. A ridiculous waste of time on his part, but "reasonable" isn't a trait I apply to most divorcing spouses.

Perhaps it can all be accomplished simultaneously as you say, but I think it's safe to advise the OP that this is not going to be as easy as just publishing a notice in the paper.[/QUOTE]

I agree that its not going to be as easy as publishing a notice in the paper, but its also not going to be all that hard to serve the husband either. He is easily findable for that purpose.

One thing about military divorces that matters, is that the military member does receive extra pay when they are married. Its part of their BAS/BAH.

Therefore, when child support is not an issue, and Power of Attorneys are delegated elsewhere if the military spouse is deployed, and their spouse is not exercising their right to be supported, its kind of not in the best interest of the military spouse to cooperate with a divorce. Their pay gets cut.

I am not saying that he would necessarily avoid service or anything like that, I am simply saying that he might be passive on the issue because as long as he is married, and she is not militarily claiming support from him, he gets more pay.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

If the OP went after the STBX for support, would THAT get him off his duff?