Question about beeing separated, but forced to stay in same house

[Kinaki]

What is the name of your state? NC
I would consider myself as beeing separated since 2 month, since my husband told me its over and since then he doesnt talk a single word with me anymore and sleep in another bedroom and goes his own ways. Is it a must to do a legal separation, to be able to divorce in 1 year ( NC law) ? my neighbor told me she as well had to stay in same house with husband, and after 1 year they put in a date 1 year before when they went for the divorce. It worked for them. I cant leave the house, I wouldnt have another place to stay, specialy because I depend on my husband, I work only few part time jobs. Until I would get alimony I am not able to pay my own place. Any advice? Thank you so much

 

[Confuzzeled]

Look into Governement programs, state or federal. If there is anything available, go for it. To live in this situation is ridiculous. It rarey ends well even though there are provisions for it in most states. If you go on government assistance and there is an award for any alimony it will likely go to the state or fed government to cover their expenses, so forget the alimony unless your husband is wealthy. Let the state or fed get their money from him and forego that headache yourself. Start with a call to your states human services, legal assistance, or family court.

Good Luck

Confuzzeled.

 

[Ohiogal]

The simplest answer is to get a job or two if you have to in order to be able to afford to support yourself. And alimony is NOT a guarantee. You may not get ANY spousal support so do not count on it.

 

[Golfball]

What is the name of your state? NC
I would consider myself as beeing separated since 2 month, since my husband told me its over and since then he doesnt talk a single word with me anymore and sleep in another bedroom and goes his own ways. Is it a must to do a legal separation, to be able to divorce in 1 year ( NC law) ? my neighbor told me she as well had to stay in same house with husband, and after 1 year they put in a date 1 year before when they went for the divorce. It worked for them. I cant leave the house, I wouldnt have another place to stay, specialy because I depend on my husband, I work only few part time jobs. Until I would get alimony I am not able to pay my own place. Any advice? Thank you so much

Under NC law, you *must* be under different roofs, if not addresses for at least one year for the divorce to be valid.

You may be able to pursue Post-Separation Support once you move out, but depending on your circumstances, you may not be able to get it.

 

[tuffbrk]

Under NC law, you *must* be under different roofs, if not addresses for at least one year for the divorce to be valid.

You may be able to pursue Post-Separation Support once you move out, but depending on your circumstances, you may not be able to get it.

This is true only if they are looking for an irreconcilable differences type of divorce though, isn't it? The OP can file under whatever grounds they choose to and I wouldn't vacate the premises - why take on any additional hardship for yourself right now? I wouldn't file for anything and instead begin looking for some type of FT position or on-line classes, etc. - whatever you need to do in order to secure a position in which you have insurance benefits, will be able to support yourself in at least a one bedroom or studio apartment when the divorce is over and in which you can begin working towards your future and retirement....

 

[nextwife]

What is the name of your state? NC
I would consider myself as beeing separated since 2 month, since my husband told me its over and since then he doesnt talk a single word with me anymore and sleep in another bedroom and goes his own ways. Is it a must to do a legal separation, to be able to divorce in 1 year ( NC law) ? my neighbor told me she as well had to stay in same house with husband, and after 1 year they put in a date 1 year before when they went for the divorce. It worked for them. I cant leave the house, I wouldnt have another place to stay, specialy because I depend on my husband, I work only few part time jobs. Until I would get alimony I am not able to pay my own place. Any advice? Thank you so much

So how long was the marriage? WHY do you presume you will get alimony?

 

[Zephyr]

How long have you been married? Alimony is not guaranteed

 

[nextwife]

How long have you been married? Alimony is not guaranteed

Jinx!

 

[Golfball]

This is true only if they are looking for an irreconcilable differences type of divorce though, isn't it?

Nope.

Actually, let me clarify.

NC has an absolute divorce (where the marital relationship is, in fact, terminated) (NCGS 50-6 & 50-11), and divorce from bed & board (which is license to evict the other spouse from the marital dwelling.) (NCGS 50-7)

The latter, however, does *not* terminate the marital relationship.

Absolute divorce requires the 1 year separation. Divorce from B&B is only granted on fault grounds.

And in NC, property division (and post-separation support/alimony) are entirely different proceedings.


As far as I've been able to determine via research, the only exception to the 1 year separation requirement in NC is an absolute divorce granted due to insanity. However, to get a divorce granted for insanity, the defendant spouse must be incurably insane (for at least 3 years, certified by two physicians, one of whom must be staff at the treating institution), the insane spouse was confined (to qualify as living "separate and apart"), and the insane spouse was released to the custody of the filing spouse on a trial basis. (The final condition does not terminate the S&A requirement for the divorce.) This means of divorce is rarely used, however. (NCGS 50-5.1)

 

[Ohiogal]

Jinx!

Hey I beat you both to it when I told her to get a job in post #3.

 

[Zephyr]

Hey I beat you both to it when I told her to get a job in post #3.

oh fine- ruin our bonding moment why dont ya!!!

 

[tuffbrk]

Nope.
Actually, let me clarify.

NC has an absolute divorce (where the marital relationship is, in fact, terminated) (NCGS 50-6 & 50-11), and divorce from bed & board (which is license to evict the other spouse from the marital dwelling.) (NCGS 50-7)

The latter, however, does *not* terminate the marital relationship.

Absolute divorce requires the 1 year separation. Divorce from B&B is only granted on fault grounds.

And in NC, property division (and post-separation support/alimony) are entirely different proceedings.

Geez Louise...since it's marital premises, don't they both get to stay there? And if not, how is it determined who stays and who goes? Can she remain where she is, start looking for a FT position, and/or work on skills to ultimately be able to solely support herself prior to the "D"?

 

[Golfball]

Geez Louise...since it's marital premises, don't they both get to stay there?

Not for starting the "separate & apart" time period required for absolute divorce. If they're under the same roof, they're not living separate & apart, as far as NC law is concerned.

If the resident spouse allows it (or is ordered to by a court), the other spouse may still have right of entry. If one spouse voluntarily leaves the marital dwelling w/ intent not to return, the resident spouse may subsequently refuse entry, in absence of court order/agreement to the contrary.

And if not, how is it determined who stays and who goes?

Divorce for B&B can be used to evict one spouse (the spouse who is at fault leaves). Otherwise, it's up to the two spouses, whether one leaves the marital dwelling, or both leave the marital dwelling.

Can she remain where she is, start looking for a FT position, and/or work on skills to ultimately be able to solely support herself prior to the "D"?

Sure, but the "separate & apart" timer required for absolute divorce doesn't start until one spouse leaves the marital dwelling w/ intent not to return.

What the neighbor did (as far as I can tell, from the limited information stated) was not kosher, and the divorce could be found void.