Question about divorcing via proxy?

[Harmonygrl]

What is the name of your state? GA

Hello everyone, I have yet another question on behalf of my divorcing friend. His STBX and her mother have been threatening him for months (in writing) that if he doesn't give in to their demands, that the wife would sign over power of attorney to the mother-in-law and let her handle all further dealings with him in this case. The STBX is claiming physical and emotional problems that are precluding her from handling it herself for months to come.

Is this a usual practice? How do judges look at this, favorably or not? Also, how would discovery and/or depositions be handled once the STBX transfers power of attorney to her mother? I mean really, how could the mother accurately testify about a marriage that was not hers? Also, how could the mother fill out discovery forms and the like?

My friend is concerned that this is a ploy to gain sympathy from the judge. While it is true that the STBX is scheduled for surgery, the surgery date is after the final hearing is scheduled. Furthermore, it is elective surgery -- having been planned before divorce proceedings started.

My friend realizes he cannot prevent this from happening, but are there any considerations he should figure in response to this most unusual situation?

 

[fairisfair]

ain't gonna happen. Not unless mommy dearest is an attorney and is representing her daughter.

 

[Harmonygrl]

ain't gonna happen. Not unless mommy dearest is an attorney and is representing her daughter.

Wow, that was a fast reply! Maybe I've had too many Diet Cokes today, but I don't understand what you mean -- can you please clarify?

 

[Harmonygrl]

Ah, I saw your new reply -- no, the mother is not an attorney but likes to think she "knows the law", sigh.

I would imagine that especially in medical cases, no one can stop someone from signing over POA to another person. However, to what extent does POA affect divorce proceedings? I personally think this is just a pretense to extend the process and elevate the costs to my friend, however, I'm not an attorney either. ;-)

 

[fairisfair]

I thought it was pretty clear.
The mother absolutely cannot represent her daughter's interests in a divorce. Not unless she is an attorney. Or, perhaps in the case where the daughter was mentally incompetent, she might have directorial powers in that case, but you didn't mention any kind of incompetency.

 

[LdiJ]

ain't gonna happen. Not unless mommy dearest is an attorney and is representing her daughter.

I agree...however the surgery could still be an issue. Something could be elective surgery, technically, but still be medically needed. I would certainly be uneasy about finalizing a divorce (therefore requiring employer provided health insurance to be cancelled) when a surgery is imminent.

 

[Harmonygrl]

Thanks, fair. I saw your reply before you added the part about whether the mother was an attorney or not -- I only saw the "ain't gonna happen" phrase, which confused me.

The other side is claiming physical ailments and depression - but a lot of people have health problems and depression and still go on to function, etc. What is the standard by which someone is or isn't capable - she's not in a hospital (yet, because surgery hasn't happened), and it just seems like anyone can say they're "sick" and try to put life on hold, but does it really work that way?

 

[Harmonygrl]

I agree...however the surgery could still be an issue. Something could be elective surgery, technically, but still be medically needed. I would certainly be uneasy about finalizing a divorce (therefore requiring employer provided health insurance to be cancelled) when a surgery is imminent.

These proceedings have been going on for months, and COBRA is also available. When IS a good time for a divorce proceeding, really? According to his STBX, never, I guess!

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks, fair. I saw your reply before you added the part about whether the mother was an attorney or not -- I only saw the "ain't gonna happen" phrase, which confused me.

The other side is claiming physical ailments and depression - but a lot of people have health problems and depression and still go on to function, etc. What is the standard by which someone is or isn't capable - she's not in a hospital (yet, because surgery hasn't happened), and it just seems like anyone can say they're "sick" and try to put life on hold, but does it really work that way?

It CAN work that way...its not unheard of for a judge to grant a continuance so that the party losing medical insurance can finish up treatment for a specific medical issue, or ordering the party carrying the medical insurance to pay for Cobra coverage.

It depends a great deal on the specific medical issue.

I know of one case in my state where a judge gave a 6 months continuance to allow the party losing coverage to complete hip replacement surgery....and another case where the judge granted a continuance because the party losing coverage was undergoing tests to determine whether or not she had cancer (the tests were negative and the divorce proceeded afterwards).

 

[Harmonygrl]

What is your state, please? This case in ongoing in Georgia (GA), so I am especially interested in Georgia law and case outcomes.

It CAN work that way...its not unheard of for a judge to grant a continuance so that the party losing medical insurance can finish up treatment for a specific medical issue, or ordering the party carrying the medical insurance to pay for Cobra coverage.

It depends a great deal on the specific medical issue.

I know of one case in my state where a judge gave a 6 months continuance to allow the party losing coverage to complete hip replacement surgery....and another case where the judge granted a continuance because the party losing coverage was undergoing tests to determine whether or not she had cancer (the tests were negative and the divorce proceeded afterwards).

 

[fairisfair]

What is your state, please? This case in ongoing in Georgia (GA), so I am especially interested in Georgia law and case outcomes.

perhaps knowing the type of surgery might be helpful.

 

[Harmonygrl]

perhaps knowing the type of surgery might be helpful.

Back surgery and a tummy tuck.

 

[fairisfair]

Back surgery and a tummy tuck.

well the back surgery could be an issue. I doubt a judge is going to hold things up for a tummy tuck, not unless there is a medical reason for it.

 

[Harmonygrl]

well the back surgery could be an issue. I doubt a judge is going to hold things up for a tummy tuck, not unless there is a medical reason for it.

To clarify, the final hearing date is scheduled a week before the surgery. Therefore, proceedings would be ostensibly complete before the surgery date, and COBRA is available. They agreed to a final hearing date and then waffled and are asking for a continuance, but my friend is going to contest it.

The purpose of this original post was to find out in this rather strange situation, how someone's mother could stand in and represent their daughter via power of attorney in divorce proceedings. I feel as if maybe the original topic is starting to drift, so I wanted to refocus this thread.

If the continuance is granted, then that's that and at least my friend tried to do what he thinks is right. However, if the continuance is not granted, then what? Can the mother "be" the STBX for legal purposes? What would happen in the case that the continuance is not granted, because the STBX is basically saying she cannot participate in her own case....

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

why would the mother need to be the power of attorney PRIOR to the surgery? someone a little stressed? come on ...