Question For A Friend

[NotAnAttorney]

What is the name of your state? Arkansas

A friend asked me to post a question for her, so here it is. (I posted in the wrong section first, but I deleted that one... I think... I hope.... sorry if this is a double post!!!)

Her situation is this... She and her husband lived together in Ohio until September 2005 when she left him and moved to Arkansas with their two kids (ages 10 & 13). They have maintained a positive relationship for the kids and the kids have regular contact with Dad. They are not divorced or even legally separated or anything, they just do not live together anymore. They do not want to be married to each other anymore, but are worried about going through the divorce process because of the custody and child support issues. What they would like to have happen is for them to be able to get divorced, share joint custody, and have no child support orders... just allow them to work it out amongst themselves how to provide for the kids between themselves as they have been doing and they don't want a schedule to tell them when each parent will have time with the kids. They want to be flexible... basically they want to be parents, not enemies.

So... now that you know the basics of the situation, here are the questions...

1) Is it possible for them to get divorced and either have nothing about custody entered, or share joint custody with no child support ordered even though Dad lives in Ohio and Mom lives in Arkansas?

2) If it's not possible for that to happen, what problems could they face by remaining married and just living separate (i.e. tax problems?)

2) If divorce is recommended, do they file in Arkansas or Ohio?

[Shay-Pari'e]

Hire a *Fantacy Island Judge*.

[Ohiogal]

Not very realistic but possible.

Originally Posted by NotAnAttorney

What is the name of your state? Arkansas

A friend asked me to post a question for her, so here it is. (I posted in the wrong section first, but I deleted that one... I think... I hope.... sorry if this is a double post!!!)

Her situation is this... She and her husband lived together in Ohio until September 2005 when she left him and moved to Arkansas with their two kids (ages 10 & 13). They have maintained a positive relationship for the kids and the kids have regular contact with Dad. They are not divorced or even legally separated or anything, they just do not live together anymore. They do not want to be married to each other anymore, but are worried about going through the divorce process because of the custody and child support issues. What they would like to have happen is for them to be able to get divorced, share joint custody, and have no child support orders... just allow them to work it out amongst themselves how to provide for the kids between themselves as they have been doing and they don't want a schedule to tell them when each parent will have time with the kids. They want to be flexible... basically they want to be parents, not enemies.

So... now that you know the basics of the situation, here are the questions...

1) Is it possible for them to get divorced and either have nothing about custody entered, or share joint custody with no child support ordered even though Dad lives in Ohio and Mom lives in Arkansas?
Nope. Something about custody has to be entered but if they can agree on the specific terms then mom and dad can get it written up themselves and not have a judge order it. Child support must be mentioned and reasons given why it is not appropriate in this instance. Also there cannot be a ban on child support but rather no child support for the present time.

2) If it's not possible for that to happen, what problems could they face by remaining married and just living separate (i.e. tax problems?)

Won't answer because the above is possible.

2) If divorce is recommended, do they file in Arkansas or Ohio?

If dad is Ohio he can file in Ohio or mom can file in Arkansas though Ohio may be easier because mom used to live here. Dad, if he has not been in Arkansas, may pose jurisdictional problems by not consenting to jurisdiction and by Arkansas not having personal jurisdiction over Dad.

[NotAnAttorney]

Thank you. So, are we understanding this correctly to mean that Dad should probably file in Ohio. They could agree to everything, including joint custody, with nothing specific regarding visitation, just that they will work things out as to parenting time for each parent, no child support will be ordered at this time. This will leave it open so that if things happen to go sour on either side in the future either one of them can go back to modify the orders later. Should one or both hire an attorney to do this or can/should they do it on their own?

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by NotAnAttorney

Thank you. So, are we understanding this correctly to mean that Dad should probably file in Ohio. They could agree to everything, including joint custody, with nothing specific regarding visitation, just that they will work things out as to parenting time for each parent, no child support will be ordered at this time. This will leave it open so that if things happen to go sour on either side in the future either one of them can go back to modify the orders later. Should one or both hire an attorney to do this or can/should they do it on their own?

It would be easier for dad to file in Ohio on the basis that Ohio had jurisdiction over mom and the children since they lived there. The other state may not have jurisdiction over dad unless dad willingly consents. They should each hire an attorney to determine the specific terms. Specific terms are necessary. they should not consent to "reasonable visitation/companionship" because too often things sour extremely quickly in this instances. Child support and custody are modifiable when there has been a change in circumstances. But they should try to come up with a schedule in writing (be it school year with one and summers with the other) or something that lists time periods and deal with things such as school breaks, holidays, schooling, expenses for the kids, medical care and what not.