Question regarding Mediation

[coloradocowgirl]

What is the name of your state? Colorado

My STBX and I have mediation next month - the county requires that we attend mediation before being given the option of going to trial; I have a few questions regarding mediation:

1) Is this going to be like a negotiation session, where I need to go in and ask for as much as I can really ask for, and then be willing to haggle? I have a parenting plan that, from what others have said, is more than fair to all parties involved. Should I just go in with that and hope for the best?

2) I am willing to come to a concensus. I have no idea what my STBX is going to ask for, but I am hopeful that we can come to a resolution without court. HOWEVER, I know my STBX fairly well, and he can be stubborn. If he comes to the mediation completely unwilling to budge on any point, will that get noted and sent to the judge we end up seeing? Will our behaviors during the mediation be noted (if he's really rude, demeaning, etc. will that get put in a report somewhere)?

3) How common is it for mediation to yield a positive result - in our case, a parenting plan we both can live with?

 

[Silverplum]

I'm not going to answer this question for two reasons. Firstly, because it belongs with your first thread.

And secondly, because you did not bother to thank the responders on your first thread.

Manners count.

What is the name of your state? Colorado

My STBX and I have mediation next month - the county requires that we attend mediation before being given the option of going to trial; I have a few questions regarding mediation:

1) Is this going to be like a negotiation session, where I need to go in and ask for as much as I can really ask for, and then be willing to haggle? I have a parenting plan that, from what others have said, is more than fair to all parties involved. Should I just go in with that and hope for the best?

2) I am willing to come to a concensus. I have no idea what my STBX is going to ask for, but I am hopeful that we can come to a resolution without court. HOWEVER, I know my STBX fairly well, and he can be stubborn. If he comes to the mediation completely unwilling to budge on any point, will that get noted and sent to the judge we end up seeing? Will our behaviors during the mediation be noted (if he's really rude, demeaning, etc. will that get put in a report somewhere)?

3) How common is it for mediation to yield a positive result - in our case, a parenting plan we both can live with?

 

[Zephyr]

california aside- mediation is confidential, the judge will not know who did or didn't try, who was or was not nice, the judge only ever knows "the parties did not come to an agreement" or they did and this is what it is

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Colorado

My STBX and I have mediation next month - the county requires that we attend mediation before being given the option of going to trial; I have a few questions regarding mediation:

1) Is this going to be like a negotiation session, where I need to go in and ask for as much as I can really ask for, and then be willing to haggle? I have a parenting plan that, from what others have said, is more than fair to all parties involved. Should I just go in with that and hope for the best?

2) I am willing to come to a concensus. I have no idea what my STBX is going to ask for, but I am hopeful that we can come to a resolution without court. HOWEVER, I know my STBX fairly well, and he can be stubborn. If he comes to the mediation completely unwilling to budge on any point, will that get noted and sent to the judge we end up seeing? Will our behaviors during the mediation be noted (if he's really rude, demeaning, etc. will that get put in a report somewhere)?

3) How common is it for mediation to yield a positive result - in our case, a parenting plan we both can live with?

The purpose of mediation is to allow the parties an attempt to work things out between the two of them.

The mediator is there to facilitate that, and to help each party understand what is or isn't reasonable for them to demand....and to keep things safe. If both parties are reasonable people, they can come to agreements. If one of them is not, then an agreement probably shouldn't happen.

As someone else said, with the exception of CA, what happens in mediation stays there, it is not communicated to the judge.

 

[Bali Hai]

The purpose of mediation is to allow the parties an attempt to work things out between the two of them.

The mediator is there to facilitate that, and to help each party understand what is or isn't reasonable for them to demand....and to keep things safe. If both parties are reasonable people, they can come to agreements. If one of them is not, then an agreement probably shouldn't happen.

As someone else said, with the exception of CA, what happens in mediation stays there, it is not communicated to the judge.

What if one party understands that the bullsh!t laws being shoved down their throat are not reasonable. Will that party be considered unreasonable??

 

[Zephyr]

What if one party understands that the bullsh!t laws being shoved down their throat are not reasonable. Will that party be considered unreasonable??

choosing not to agree with something that goes against ones interest is not being unreasonable, it's one option available in the negotiation process

jeez Bali- have a drink or something

 

[Bali Hai]

choosing not to agree with something that goes against ones interest is not being unreasonable, it's one option available in the negotiation process

jeez Bali- have a drink or something

Maybe...Hiccup...BUUURRRRRPPPPPP!

 

[coloradocowgirl]

I'm not going to answer this question for two reasons. Firstly, because it belongs with your first thread.

And secondly, because you did not bother to thank the responders on your first thread.

Manners count.

I hadn't gone back and read the responses to the first thread yet - hence, no thank you's.