Questions on Divorce

[lostinlife]

What is the name of your state? NY state

All assets in H name, together for 10 married for 5

3 lil ones ages~ 6, 4 1/2 & 2 I am the primary at home caregiver for 6 years

12 years diff. in age, I am 33, haven't worked in 6 years

no pre~nup, I have no money at all

all debt in my name

Does it matter if I file first because of debt?

Can I get a guarantee that I will get to live in the home even though it is not mine with the children? even if only until the reach a certain age.

I refuse to get a job being that the salary would get eaten up in childcare expenses, I AM THE PRIMARY CAREGIVER ~ why pay someone else to do what I do for free for 6 years now because H just deceided he just doesnt feel like being married.

I may be naive in staying however, H has not filed. My financial situation currently staying is stable, VS. filing to hear something will be left out to changes my children's living arrangements and take them away from me caring for them throughout the day to have to be with a stranger.

I am strapped and confused.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by lostinlife

What is the name of your state? NY state

All assets in H name, together for 10 married for 5

3 lil ones ages~ 6, 4 1/2 & 2 I am the primary at home caregiver for 6 years

12 years diff. in age, I am 33, haven't worked in 6 years

no pre~nup, I have no money at all

all debt in my name

Does it matter if I file first because of debt?

Can I get a guarantee that I will get to live in the home even though it is not mine with the children? even if only until the reach a certain age.

I refuse to get a job being that the salary would get eaten up in childcare expenses, I AM THE PRIMARY CAREGIVER ~ why pay someone else to do what I do for free for 6 years now because H just deceided he just doesnt feel like being married.

I may be naive in staying however, H has not filed. My financial situation currently staying is stable, VS. filing to hear something will be left out to changes my children's living arrangements and take them away from me caring for them throughout the day to have to be with a stranger.

I am strapped and confused.

Realistically, if you separate you are going to have to get a job. You aren't going to be able to support yourself and the children on what you will recieve in child support. Yes, I realize that daycare expenses will be high for three kids, but your soon to be ex will have to share in those costs as well.

You certainly don't have to move until a judge says that you have to move. However, if you expect to keep the house, you will be responsible for the house payment and all of the bills regarding the house.

You need to get yourself a consult with an attorney. That will give you more realistic expectations of what is or isn't possible.