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  #1  
Old 04-30-2009, 07:37 AM
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Received divorce no child now ex is saying there is a child

North Carolina

I was granted my divorce with no response and ex did not show up for court. She signed for the divorce papers via certified mail. The divorce clearly states there were no children. I was with her for 2 months and separated for 6 years and now she is trying to say that I have a child. I have told her to get a paternity test and she keeps making excuses as to why she doesn't want to. Since the divorce is final and she has had ample opportunity to prove this child mine (6 years) is there anything on her part that can be done in regards to support for the child. (I will not neglect my responsibilities if this child is indeed mine) however there was infidelity in the marriage thus the reason it only lasted 2 months.
  #2  
Old 04-30-2009, 07:41 AM
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Quote:
I have told her to get a paternity test and she keeps making excuses as to why she doesn't want to.
If you really want to be a part of your child's life, then you need to talk to a lawyer about establishing paternity. The court can compel her to have the child tested to establish whether the child is yours or not.

Use this opportunity to find out for sure instead of missing out on your child's life and then having mom hide the child from you for years and then file for back child support.
  #3  
Old 04-30-2009, 08:08 AM
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Was the child actually born during the marriage?
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  #4  
Old 04-30-2009, 08:25 AM
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I married her in October 15, 2002. Our last intimate encounter was Halloween, I left December 21, 2002. I have been 4 states away for 6 years and had no contact with her. She now states that she conceived the child in November of 2002 while I was still with her. So technically since we were still married the child was born during the marriage.
  #5  
Old 04-30-2009, 08:30 AM
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Originally Posted by r3divory View Post
I married her in October 15, 2002. Our last intimate encounter was Halloween, I left December 21, 2002. I have been 4 states away for 6 years and had no contact with her. She now states that she conceived the child in November of 2002 while I was still with her. So technically since we were still married the child was born during the marriage.
When was your divorce finalized? THAT is what will determine whether the child was born during marriage.

You'll really need to establish paternity. Talk with an attorney.

If you're not the father, ask her to pay your expenses because she made false allegations.

If you ARE the father, ask for a parenting and visitation plan immediately. Given the child's age, you will probably need to gradually move back into his/her life, but there's no reason you can't have a solid relationship. You should also ask for joint legal custody - since the mother has shown an obvious attempt to keep you out of your child's life. (In theory, you could get sole custody on that basis, but unless she's really a lousy mother and you can prove it, that's not likely. Furthermore, it would likely be very, very bad for the child).
  #6  
Old 04-30-2009, 12:05 PM
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You have to be separated in NC for a minimum of one year and one day for a divorce. As long as no one lied about the separation date of 12.21 then the child was born of the marriage.
  #7  
Old 04-30-2009, 12:08 PM
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If their last encounter was Halloween, and conception was in NOVEMBER, the OP could very well not be the "father."

ASK for a DNA test.
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  #8  
Old 04-30-2009, 12:10 PM
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Originally Posted by TinkerBelleLuvr View Post
If their last encounter was Halloween, and conception was in NOVEMBER, the OP could very well not be the "father."

ASK for a DNA test.
I absolutely agree...force one through the courts.
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  #9  
Old 04-30-2009, 12:15 PM
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Originally Posted by TinkerBelleLuvr View Post
If their last encounter was Halloween, and conception was in NOVEMBER, the OP could very well not be the "father."

ASK for a DNA test.
Of course. That's why everyone says that paternity needs to be established.

HOWEVER, until he gets the DNA test done and the issue resolved, he appears to be the legal father of the child.
  #10  
Old 04-30-2009, 01:52 PM
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Is OP still legally able to dispute paternity after - if the child was born within the marriage - such a long time?

DNA notwithstanding does he even have standing?
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When you can't bear something but it goes on anyway, the person who survives isn't you anymore; you've changed and become someone else, a new person, the one who did bear it after all.
— Austin Grossman

Quote:
Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo
  #11  
Old 04-30-2009, 01:54 PM
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There's the part of not even KNOWING the child existed. The wife LIED to the courts if she signed that there was no child during the marriage.
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  #12  
Old 04-30-2009, 02:07 PM
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Gotcha, right....thanks for clarifying that, Tink
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When you can't bear something but it goes on anyway, the person who survives isn't you anymore; you've changed and become someone else, a new person, the one who did bear it after all.
— Austin Grossman

Quote:
Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo
  #13  
Old 04-30-2009, 02:17 PM
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Can he use HER notarized entry of court documents, in which she, through the filing, swears there were NO children of the marriage, to get her current attempt to claim thrown out?
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Adoptive parents ARE "real" parents. Sharing genes is not what makes you a "parent"!
  #14  
Old 04-30-2009, 02:18 PM
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She has perjured herself one way or the other. She will have to admit to lying.
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  #15  
Old 04-30-2009, 02:29 PM
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It sounds like the OP is the one that filed the papers and had her served. She didn't respond to the papers and only accepted service of them. She didn't go to court. Would perjury apply in this case if she didn't answer the papers? I filed my own divorce and did all my papers for it (same state). My ex was served but unless it's contested the other party didn't need to show.
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