Refinance / Remove my name?

[gager2002]

I understand that. Its not that I want to take them away more than get them out of a situation. I do believe if I were to gain primary custody, on the weekend she would have arranged, she would most likely back out and change plans so she and the new husband can go do things with out the kids. Its also a little about the $1500 a month I pay for the kids support when I am supporting them for most of the time myself. Please don't put me in a class of dads that complain about what they pay. I have no problem with it. Would have paid more. But they are with me all the time, I pay for every extra activity, I am the only one to show of to watch swim meets, baseball, soccer, and ballet. My oldest tells me when she needs something, her mom says, "ask you dad". I'm talking about needs, not wants, ie socks, under clothes, school stuff, $ for camps. Well, I am never going to let my kids go without needs. Thats me.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by gager2002

I understand that. Its not that I want to take them away more than get them out of a situation. I do believe if I were to gain primary custody, on the weekend she would have arranged, she would most likely back out and change plans so she and the new husband can go do things with out the kids. Its also a little about the $1500 a month I pay for the kids support when I am supporting them for most of the time myself. Please don't put me in a class of dads that complain about what they pay. I have no problem with it. Would have paid more. But they are with me all the time, I pay for every extra activity, I am the only one to show of to watch swim meets, baseball, soccer, and ballet. My oldest tells me when she needs something, her mom says, "ask you dad". I'm talking about needs, not wants, ie socks, under clothes, school stuff, $ for camps. Well, I am never going to let my kids go without needs. Thats me.

Do you have all 4 of those nights a week OFFICIALLY? The reason I ask is that you are paying an unusually high amount of child support considering the fact that you have the kids 4 nights a week. Therefore, if any of that time is unofficial, there is a risk to taking her back to court for custody. She will fight you tooth an nail not to lose that child support (that's a normal human reaction, most people can't handle that big of a change in their monthly budget, easily) and she will likely force everyone to stick strictly to the court ordered schedule pending any decision by the court.

That could make things worse for the kids, for anywhere from six months to a year in a hottly contested custody battle. Definitely get a consult with an attorney and fully disclose everything.

[gager2002]

No, I was only awarded 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekend and Wednesday 6-10pm. I think this is standard. Except the wednesday. I argued that in so I could take the to church and keep somewhat normalcy. The support amount was basic based on my income. To give you an idea this month I have had them for 17 or the 26 days. Ant I pick them up again tonight to start the month of July visit. Instead of waiting until Tuesday July 1st, she asked me to get them because she has things to do...?

Oh, and my sister had them last night and all day today.

[gager2002]

And to be honest, since she will not read this. I would continue to pay her if she would give me the custody, or just let them live with me, until I had sufficient information and then go to court. I would make a way to make it work...

[gager2002]

Thank you everyone for the advice. I really appreciate it.

[mistoffolees]

Originally Posted by gager2002

And to be honest, since she will not read this. I would continue to pay her if she would give me the custody, or just let them live with me, until I had sufficient information and then go to court. I would make a way to make it work...

If you don't mind the payment, then it's important to talk with your attorney about 'status quo'. I don't know how long you'd have to have the kids 4 nights a week for it to be considered status quo, but your attorney would. If you fight custody too early, you are likely to lose. If you wait until the 4 nights a week has become a standard part of their life, then your chances of making it permanent are better. So ask your attorney about timing on filing.