Residential requirements for separation if moving back to CA within less than a month

[1forthekids]

California

My wife got me to agree to move to Maine form California where she is from with my two young children. Once there, she kicked me out of her grandmothers house where we were staying with little reason. Since then, she has not answered my calls or texts and I have seen or spoken with my kids in a few days. She took a plane out here two months ago, and I drove her car out with our things three weeks ago, so we have not been here 6 months to satisfy residency. There are other circumstances, but my question is: If I go back to California without the kids, can I file for separation there and force her to move back with the kids so that I can also fight for custody?

 

[Just Blue]

California

My wife got me to agree to move to Maine form California where she is from with my two young children. Once there, she kicked me out of her grandmothers house where we were staying with little reason. Since then, she has not answered my calls or texts and I have seen or spoken with my kids in a few days. She took a plane out here two months ago, and I drove her car out with our things three weeks ago, so we have not been here 6 months to satisfy residency. There are other circumstances, but my question is: If I go back to California without the kids, can I file for separation there and force her to move back with the kids so that I can also fight for custody?

No. You can't force an adult to do a thing. Why on earth would you think you could???????? Consult with an attorney so you know what your options are.

 

[stealth2]

You would need a judge to order the children returned. I would consult w/an attorney.

 

[1forthekids]

This is a law forum, not an ethics forum. I wouldn't be forcing her to move. The law of residency would. We are not legal residents of Maine until after 6 months, so our residency is still in CA where we lived for two and a half years. Maybe I should reword my question, my apology. Can a person who moves to a new state move back and file for separation in the state of residency if residency has not been established in the new state?
The courts will also take into consideration that she is a felon with a class a felony assault on her record against me which she is currently on probation for. I thought moving would give her a chance to get her life together and work on our marriage which I believe in. I see now I was wrong. That is where the question lies. Because I moved to Maine, did I give up the right to file in CA. Please answer from a law standpoint, not an opinion, thank you.

 

[stealth2]

This is a law forum, not an ethics forum. I wouldn't be forcing her to move. The law of residency would. We are not legal residents of Maine until after 6 months, so our residency is still in CA where we lived for two and a half years. Maybe I should reword my question, my apology. Can a person who moves to a new state move back and file for separation in the state of residency if residency has not been established in the new state?
The courts will also take into consideration that she is a felon with a class a felony assault on her record against me which she is currently on probation for. I thought moving would give her a chance to get her life together and work on our marriage which I believe in. I see now I was wrong. That is where the question lies. Because I moved to Maine, did I give up the right to file in CA. Please answer from a law standpoint, not an opinion, thank you.

Nope. There is no way she can be forced to move anywhere. The court *could* tell her that she will relinquish custody of the children to you if she remains in Maine, but they cannot force her to move.

Again - you need to speak with an attorney.

 

[I'mTheFather]

The fact that you moved to Maine with the family may make any requests to return the children to CA moot.

 

[1forthekids]

Nope. There is no way she can be forced to move anywhere. The court *could* tell her that she will relinquish custody of the children to you if she remains in Maine, but they cannot force her to move.

Again - you need to speak with an attorney.

Ok, understood. I know I need to speak with an attorney. As we know, they are humans too, so I am trying to get as much research done on a Sunday as I can before I do so. From what I've read online, there are sites with similar examples, but none of them the same. I have been reading laws on residence and domicile to get some sort of understanding. From what I can gather so far (again without speaking to a lawyer on a Sunday) Your domicile doesn't change until you are in a state for that states certain residency period. In Maine, it is 6 months. So according to those laws, I could possibly move back to CA and file there, which would not "force" her to move, but from what I can gather, she wouldn't be able to get legal representation in Maine because she has also not met the residency requirements of 6 months. I appreciate everyone's input and I understand this is a forum for conversation, not legal advice.

 

[I'mTheFather]

She can get legal representation whenever she wants. Residency doesn't affect that.

And all of the responses contained legal advice.

And... if you file in CA, she can contest the filing since you will not have been a resident for 180 consecutive days.

 

[1forthekids]

She can get legal representation whenever she wants. Residency doesn't affect that.

And all of the responses contained legal advice.

And... if you file in CA, she can contest the filing since you will not have been a resident for 180 consecutive days.

So I should contact a Maine lawyer, not a CA one. The laws of domicile don't keep me a resident of CA legally until I meet residency requirements in another state? I guess the main reasoning for my question is to decide whether I should contact a CA lawyer or a ME lawyer. If I have to fight it here in ME, I will. If my only option because of residency is to go back to CA, I will. I need to file asap regardless, just trying to put the kids in the best position to be in my custody.

 

[I'mTheFather]

So I should contact a Maine lawyer, not a CA one. The laws of domicile don't keep me a resident of CA legally until I meet residency requirements in another state? I guess the main reasoning for my question is to decide whether I should contact a CA lawyer or a ME lawyer. If I have to fight it here in ME, I will. If my only option because of residency is to go back to CA, I will. I need to file asap regardless, just trying to put the kids in the best position to be in my custody.

You may be able to file in CA, but she can contest it. Whether or not she'll be successful is the question. If you can't file in CA for divorce, you can file for a legal separation. The custody part will be a problem.

Do you have a place to stay in Maine?

 

[I'mTheFather]

I would talk to an attorney in Maine before deciding anything about moving back to CA.

Actually, I would try to get a phone consult with an attorney in CA too.

 

[LdiJ]

So I should contact a Maine lawyer, not a CA one. The laws of domicile don't keep me a resident of CA legally until I meet residency requirements in another state? I guess the main reasoning for my question is to decide whether I should contact a CA lawyer or a ME lawyer. If I have to fight it here in ME, I will. If my only option because of residency is to go back to CA, I will. I need to file asap regardless, just trying to put the kids in the best position to be in my custody.

Do you have a job in Maine? One of the things that you need to think of is the best interest of the children. It would be far better for them to have both parents available on a regular basis, rather than one parent being on one coast, and the other parent being on the other. If you are both established in Maine, with jobs or a good prospect for jobs, then maybe it would be better to stay in Maine and fight it out there.

You probably should talk to an attorney in both states, to get a feel for the situation in both states, before you decide what to do. I can tell you that there is no guarantee that you will be able to force the return of the children to CA if you go back there.

 

[1forthekids]

Do you have a job in Maine? One of the things that you need to think of is the best interest of the children. It would be far better for them to have both parents available on a regular basis, rather than one parent being on one coast, and the other parent being on the other. If you are both established in Maine, with jobs or a good prospect for jobs, then maybe it would be better to stay in Maine and fight it out there.

You probably should talk to an attorney in both states, to get a feel for the situation in both states, before you decide what to do. I can tell you that there is no guarantee that you will be able to force the return of the children to CA if you go back there.

Yes, I have a job as an electrician that I just started a week ago. The reason for moving has always been in the best interest of the children. She also has a job here, and with a felony on her record, she won't find one close to what she makes in CA. With the recent occurrences of her kicking me out of her grandmas with no good reason, and her not answering my phone calls to set up times to see the kids, it is obvious to me at this point, she lied about everything and is trying to put me in a hard spot. She has a place to stay here, I'm living in a hotel now. I also sold my truck to get here which was a wash, so I don't have a vehicle or money to buy one. This was all under the promise of her that we would try to work things out and be a family. So I'm basically screwed, but I still have to fight for the most amount of custody I can get of my children. I have a little money saved up, but it's not enough for a car, an apartment lease, and a lawyer. If I move back to CA with my family, I would only need money for a lawyer.

 

[LdiJ]

Yes, I have a job as an electrician that I just started a week ago. The reason for moving has always been in the best interest of the children. She also has a job here, and with a felony on her record, she won't find one close to what she makes in CA. With the recent occurrences of her kicking me out of her grandmas with no good reason, and her not answering my phone calls to set up times to see the kids, it is obvious to me at this point, she lied about everything and is trying to put me in a hard spot. She has a place to stay here, I'm living in a hotel now. I also sold my truck to get here which was a wash, so I don't have a vehicle or money to buy one. This was all under the promise of her that we would try to work things out and be a family. So I'm basically screwed, but I still have to fight for the most amount of custody I can get of my children. I have a little money saved up, but it's not enough for a car, an apartment lease, and a lawyer. If I move back to CA with my family, I would only need money for a lawyer.

Yes, but you would have to get a new job, and your children would be on the opposite coast from you, with no guarantee that they would be returning to CA to live.

You really need to consult with attorneys in both states and make the most informed decision that you can make.

I do not know what decision is right for you. All I know is that if you stay in Maine and fight it out there, that you will end up being part of your children's lives on a regular basis, and if you return to CA, the risk exists that they will remain in Maine.

 

[SESmama]

It might even be that you pay for any transportation for the kids to come see you in CA. It isn't a given but it is a possibility.