right to ex spouses retirement

I really don't think you can go back and make adjustments to the divorce settlement. I don't think there's a time frame...I believe once a judge signs the decree and finalizes the divorce, that's it. Unless, your ex did not follow what the decree states...and broke a court order...then you can take him to court on contempt. I'm really not sure...I'm only going by what happened to a friend of mine. She wanted to go back and make adjustments to the settlement and the judge told her it's too late??? Why don't you ask a lawyer, I think he/she would be better to answer your question.

I do know when I got divorced, I looked into the future, of where I might be with my kids. Like..."what if" things get tough or "what if" he isn't a good dad...and so on. I Focusing on that, and made sure I put everything I could think of to cover my kids back as well as mine. I am glad I did that because he ended up being a crappy dad. He paid CS and alimony, but sucked as a dad. Like I always tell my friends who contemplate divorce or already going through it with children. Just because a man pays CS and/or alimony...it doesn't make him a good dad. Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy. I'm sorry this is so long...and I wish you luck and happiness.

VeeGee,

Thanks for your response. I agree, the smart thing to do is to take care of all of this when you are going through the divorce. Always assume the worst. I guess that was a mistake on my part. But, a lesson learned is always a good thing.

Yes it is...but if I were you I would ask a lawyer to be sure. Take care and stay well.

KS:I am considering filing for divorce on my 2nd husbby. Hubby #1 shared everything. He was a good man...and I do say WAS.
I left his retirement alone. #2 has hidden thousands of $ in cash from me.(I found it)He has bought things without my 2 cents. & done what he pleases with HIS money. What I make goes to the family. I can support the kids on my own. I didn't marry him for the $. BUT, He does nothing more around this house than 1/2 of rent & utilities.

I have a nice retirement. I have worked for 15 years for it. If I do opt out of this "marriage", or even die...I don't want him getting the $ over my kids. It sucks / the law requires spouses signature to name someone else for the beneficiary.! And even worse...that he'd be "entitled" to 1/2 the $$ in the case of divorce. This is NOT his! He has done nothing to earn it! Does the 10 years apply to Kansas?

There are 2 sides to every story. Maybe I am blind and greedy & immature like whats-his name, but I can't help it.

[stealth2]

There's a huge difference between when you have kids, and when you don't.