Rights during separation

[MVH2008]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Wisconsin
I have been married for 2.5 yrs to a military man who's been out since Oct. of 07. We were going to get a divorce back in March and filed. During that separation he started fooling around with another woman and alleged that he was legally allowed to because we were separated. I wanted to know what the legal rights consist of and whether that behavior is allowed. I told him that was not legal because marriage is a binding contract and until you are divorced you are still very much married. He says No...

He also stated that I must legally give him back the engagement ring. It isn't an heirloom or anything special but he wants it back so he can sell it and he thinks that is his right. I want to keep it because he doesnt deserve it and if anyones getting any money I think it should be me since he left me high and dry. I have no job yet, I have no money, I moved back into a town with poor job options and he left me hung up when he kept sayin he was gettin things ready so I could move back and we could be together so he kinda postponed my life and admitted that all along he knew we'd get a divorce. So I think a little spousal support isn't asking for much. He says I wont get anything because his infidelities dont mean anything and that I'll never get any support. I've been waiting for papers and he thinks he may seek a lawyer... If so... I can't afford one... What should I do? I'm a Veteran, are there any programs that might assist me with legal advice?

Thank you

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Wisconsin
I have been married for 2.5 yrs to a military man who's been out since Oct. of 07. We were going to get a divorce back in March and filed. During that separation he started fooling around with another woman and alleged that he was legally allowed to because we were separated. I wanted to know what the legal rights consist of and whether that behavior is allowed. I told him that was not legal because marriage is a binding contract and until you are divorced you are still very much married. He says No...

He also stated that I must legally give him back the engagement ring. It isn't an heirloom or anything special but he wants it back so he can sell it and he thinks that is his right. I want to keep it because he doesnt deserve it and if anyones getting any money I think it should be me since he left me high and dry. I have no job yet, I have no money, I moved back into a town with poor job options and he left me hung up when he kept sayin he was gettin things ready so I could move back and we could be together so he kinda postponed my life and admitted that all along he knew we'd get a divorce. So I think a little spousal support isn't asking for much. He says I wont get anything because his infidelities dont mean anything and that I'll never get any support. I've been waiting for papers and he thinks he may seek a lawyer... If so... I can't afford one... What should I do? I'm a Veteran, are there any programs that might assist me with legal advice?

Thank you

There really is no viable chance that you will get any spousal support. You simply haven't been married long enough.

However, the engagement rings is yours. You can tell him to pound sand about that.

 

[mistoffolees]

There really is no viable chance that you will get any spousal support. You simply haven't been married long enough.

However, the engagement rings is yours. You can tell him to pound sand about that.

Depending on the circumstances, she may get TEMPORARY support during the time the divorce is pending. I don't know how likely or how much she'd get, but since she doesn't have a job or any money, he might have to support her for a short time.

You're right about no support past the divorce date, though.

 

[MVH2008]

I'm really only seeking temporary support while we're 'separated'. I expect him to assist in matters until we are officially divorced. He tried to get me to sign a document that basically refused any/all support and of course I refused. My question to you is... How long is temporary support going to last? Just til we're divorced? Can he shut off my auto insurance and health insurance?
I just moved back for the second time and he is trying to cut me off in every way financially and I have no where else to turn to for help, unfortunately. I've applied for jobs and am working diligently to get past this, but without some minimal financial support its going to make my life hell. He wanted this divorce, he also fooled around on me, and then he waited 6 months to tell me he wanted a divorce so he also wasted my time and post poned my life. He hung up on me earlier when I tried to discuss the financial situations. He makes $2,000/month at his job, plus VA compensation, plus Reservist pay and he's moving into a better job in a few weeks makin $17/hr. I have nothing. I lost my job in the divorce the first round. Now we're at round 2 and he doesnt think he owes me a dime for moving expenses or anything. I'm not a money grubbing wench like he swears I am. I cant get a job without insurance on my car to drive to work and I cant get to work without gas and of course you can see where this is going.... I dont know what to do...

 

[mistoffolees]

I'm really only seeking temporary support while we're 'separated'. I expect him to assist in matters until we are officially divorced. He tried to get me to sign a document that basically refused any/all support and of course I refused. My question to you is... How long is temporary support going to last? Just til we're divorced? Can he shut off my auto insurance and health insurance?
I just moved back for the second time and he is trying to cut me off in every way financially and I have no where else to turn to for help, unfortunately. I've applied for jobs and am working diligently to get past this, but without some minimal financial support its going to make my life hell. He wanted this divorce, he also fooled around on me, and then he waited 6 months to tell me he wanted a divorce so he also wasted my time and post poned my life. He hung up on me earlier when I tried to discuss the financial situations. He makes $2,000/month at his job, plus VA compensation, plus Reservist pay and he's moving into a better job in a few weeks makin $17/hr. I have nothing. I lost my job in the divorce the first round. Now we're at round 2 and he doesnt think he owes me a dime for moving expenses or anything. I'm not a money grubbing wench like he swears I am. I cant get a job without insurance on my car to drive to work and I cant get to work without gas and of course you can see where this is going.... I dont know what to do...

He is not going to be able to drop auto or health insurance during the divorce (well, he can, but it's going to cost him in the end). The amount of temporary support will depend on the circumstances. Given that you're able to work and that there are apparently no children and that his salary certainly doesn't put him into the 'wealthy' category, I wouldn't expect it to be much. And certainly nothing past the date of divorce.

You need to focus on getting back to work and stop depending on him. Take the bus to work. Work cleaning houses in your neighborhood so you don't have to drive. Sell stuff on ebay to get your first tank of gas. Borrow from family. Whatever. Lots of people are able to work who don't have much to start with.

 

[KrisC]

I was at a certain point of my life in a similar situation. Don't worry, it's not the end of the world, though it may seem like it, but you're only making things worse for yourself thinking that your right to life and happyness depend on your spouse's financial decisions. I got over the rough financial situation(i'm an alien and got to USA like fallen out of the sky, no money, no family, nothing for a few years) so went and got a job as a live-in babysitter(and there are many out there) which was just the start i needed for later on, when i found a place, went to school, got a new job in a respected company and met some good people who were there for me moraly(that's all that matters, in the end, not how little or how much money you have). You can save quite a lot of money by living where you work, even if that means taking jobs you never thought of doing(housekeeper or babysitter)- it's only temporary, untill you learn how to walk on your own(which is great, by the way).
Please, don't rely on what you'll get from your husband. Let those money be extra, not be the strings you hang on to. Busses and trains are also a way of getting arround. Look at the positive side: at least you don't live in the W side of Chicago, like i used to. Good luck