scared to file for divorce

[threadbaremom]

What is the name of your state? Utah-however i moved here from Cali after we separated.

i am very scared of getting a divorce. i kicked him out after my then 6 yr old tried to cover my head with her arms/body to protect me. i called 911 so he bailed. fine anyways, on our first trip to court, the mediations investigation showed that social services had substantiated him as having molested 2 of his mom's friends kids, that freaked me out. because this had happened right before we got back together a few yrs prior to us getting married. so i put my daughter in therapy and was told not to ask. well anyways i finally did ask (wht mom wouldnt?) and was told that he has on several occasions touched and even once had her watch pornos. i freaked out obviously and took her straight to the police (big mistake in california). social services then substantiated the accusations (police asked him, then said there wasnt any physical evidence-thnk gd he didnt penetrate her-and refused to press charges against him).....anyways, after a year of constant harassment - even with a protective order/restraining order - i moved to utah to get some peace in our lives. i went to the court clerk and asked wht to do for a divorce and she said that i shouldn't get one without a lawyer because a judge wouldnt care that california wont let him near my kids without court supervision, the judge would only not let him near them if he had been charged. so if i get a div. then i am afraid that he will get to have my children unprotected. i want a divorce very badly but have to protect my children. wht should i do?????????please help me.

 

[stephenk]

"so if i get a div. then i am afraid that he will get to have my children unprotected."

What is that opinion based on? Did your daughter tell the police and CPS that he molested her? did you only call the police that one time? Have you reported other times he has attacked you?

Take all your evidence regarding your hubby, go to a family law attorney and file for divorce and support and termination of his visitation. You know what to do, now go do it!

 

[stephenk]

I just read your other post regarding your eviction and you state that you are already divorced.

So what is it? Are you divorced or not?

 

[threadbaremom]

to the question as to why i say i am divorced already, well uh let's see, would you walk around saying you are separated and then have to go through the sympathies or explanations or just say you are divorced and be done with it?
and i am divorced-in all regards except technically-much easier to deal with all of the deadbeat, abusing, chester (child molester) qualities about him. thank you very much.

and to the first reply, yes she did tell me and was 'acting out' in a fashion that is pretty exclusive to victims of child molestation, and yes that was the first time i called the police on him. didnt even call for the broken ribs, or for the broken jaw. i am still in the process of getting myself to believe i didnt cause it. post traumatic stress disorder or whtever, and low self image, however i am beginning to overcome these things.