School Loans

[wbsticks]

Hi, I'm in Florida,

My wife filed for divorce last August. She told me she is having an affair with a coworker.

We had two separte school loans (with the same company) for the first 10 years of our marriage. The loans were consolodated in both our names about 5 years ago for a total of $25,000.00. She originally owed $23,000.00 on her loan and I only owed $1300.00.

I have agree to pay my original portion ($1300.00) of the loan off. BUT, should I be responsible for paying off her portion of the loan? She has a good job yet we never gained any assets at all during our marriage other then a house which is in the process of being sold. (I have agreed to give 100% of my portion of the equity of the house to my son for his future education) He is 10 years old, we have joint custody but he lives with me and I support him. She pays no child support.

I believe it is NOT fair that I should be held responsible for paying for her education since niether one of us gained any real assets in 17 years of marriage and I or my son will NOT benifit from her education and emplyoment.

Thanks
BillyWhat is the name of your state?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is fair? You both pay 50% of the loan because it is in BOTH of your names and it is marital debt. The two of you decided to consolidate the date. Your son if it is HER son will benefit from mom's education because you should get a child support order requiring mom to financially HER child. NOW if this child is NOT hers but yours from another relationship then why should she support him?

 

[Bali Hai]

What is fair? You both pay 50% of the loan because it is in BOTH of your names and it is marital debt. The two of you decided to consolidate the date. Your son if it is HER son will benefit from mom's education because you should get a child support order requiring mom to financially HER child. NOW if this child is NOT hers but yours from another relationship then why should she support him?

That is legally fair, but in no way truly fair that he pay for half her education because of a technicality.

They've been married for 17 years and the child is 10 years old. Unless my math teacher steered me wrong, I would guess that the child is a product of the marriage.

 

[Bali Hai]

Hi, I'm in Florida,

My wife filed for divorce last August. She told me she is having an affair with a coworker.

We had two separte school loans (with the same company) for the first 10 years of our marriage. The loans were consolodated in both our names about 5 years ago for a total of $25,000.00. She originally owed $23,000.00 on her loan and I only owed $1300.00.

I have agree to pay my original portion ($1300.00) of the loan off. BUT, should I be responsible for paying off her portion of the loan? She has a good job yet we never gained any assets at all during our marriage other then a house which is in the process of being sold. (I have agreed to give 100% of my portion of the equity of the house to my son for his future education) He is 10 years old, we have joint custody but he lives with me and I support him. She pays no child support.

I believe it is NOT fair that I should be held responsible for paying for her education since niether one of us gained any real assets in 17 years of marriage and I or my son will NOT benifit from her education and emplyoment.

Thanks
BillyWhat is the name of your state?

You need to stop making concessions and get a lawyer since you obviously can't look out for yourself in this matter.

Don't forget you are most likely entitled to alimony.

 

[LdiJ]

You need to stop making concessions and get a lawyer since you obviously can't look out for yourself in this matter.

Don't forget you are most likely entitled to alimony.

Since he didn't state how much money either of them make, that is an absurd statement to make.

 

[Bali Hai]

Since he didn't state how much money either of them make, that is an absurd statement to make.

Not absurd if in fact he is awarded alimony.

 

[LdiJ]

Not absurd if in fact he is awarded alimony.

Bali, please stop this. You are not helping posters you are potentially hurting them. Don't advise someone to go for alimony if you have no idea of the scenario or the numbers.

 

[Bali Hai]

Bali, please stop this. You are not helping posters you are potentially hurting them. Don't advise someone to go for alimony if you have no idea of the scenario or the numbers.

Well the child lives with him and is supported primarily by him (10 years old). Courts take this factor into consideration when awarding alimony.

I gleen from OP's post that the cheating wife has a better job than he does. So my comment (NOT ADVICE) about the likelihood of alimony.

The possibility of a man receiving alimony doesn't appear to be on your list of favorites does it?

 

[LdiJ]

Well the child lives with him and is supported primarily by him (10 years old). Courts take this factor into consideration when awarding alimony.

I gleen from OP's post that the cheating wife has a better job than he does. So my comment (NOT ADVICE) about the likelihood of alimony.

The possibility of a man receiving alimony doesn't appear to be on your list of favorites does it?

Oh good lord.....sigh...

There is only a brief reference to a child and no indication of where the child lives. Even if he has primary custody of the child that has nothing to do with alimony, it has only to do with child support.

You gleen "squat".

I don't advise anyone to go after alimony without having a reasonable idea of the respective incomes and other situational factors.

You want to encourage men to be Guinea Pigs for your political agenda, without any regard for what it may do to them financially or legally.

 

[wbsticks]

Thanks everyone for the replies.

I do have a lawyer. The lawyer told me the judge will probably conclude that we both benifited from her education over the course of the marriage (which is partially true) and I will be just as responsible to pay for the loan as she is. BUT... I did help considerably to support her financialy when she was in school. My objection is that my son and I will NOT benifit from her education in the future...

My son is living with me. He initially lived with his mother during the first months of the separation. Then his mother did not want him and he did not want to be with her because he objected to her new boyfriend and lifestyle (She was always staying out late, ignoring him or fighting with him about it) He loves his mother dearly but they just do not get along anymore. He has been with me for about 8 months and thank God, he is much happier and content now considering what he has been through. He and I are closer to each other and God then ever. Maybe that is the blessing in disguise through all this.

I make about $35,000. She makes about $45,000. I told her in the begining of all this that I did not want any child support, alimony or health insurance from her. As far as I'm concerned she owes me nothing but I feel she does owe her son something. So it is only fair that her school loan be her responsibility since she will not responsible for anything else concearning him financialy.

I am supporting myself and my son just fine. I just wanted my son to be happy, loved and secure. As of now, he is both...

Thanks again everybody.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thanks everyone for the replies.

I do have a lawyer. The lawyer told me the judge will probably conclude that we both benifited from her education over the course of the marriage (which is partially true)

No it is not PARTIALLY true. It is fact.

and I will be just as responsible to pay for the loan as she is.

You signed for the loan. It is YOUR loan. You assumed that responsibility when you TWO consolidated your loans together.

BUT... I did help considerably to support her financialy when she was in school.

And she did nothing during marriage? She didn't help out with bills or anything, right?

My objection is that my son and I will NOT benifit from her education in the future...

Tough. Your son WILL benefit from her education. you don't deserve to benefit forever from her life if you are divorcing.

My son is living with me. He initially lived with his mother during the first months of the separation. Then his mother did not want him and he did not want to be with her because he objected to her new boyfriend and lifestyle (She was always staying out late, ignoring him or fighting with him about it) He loves his mother dearly but they just do not get along anymore. He has been with me for about 8 months and thank God, he is much happier and content now considering what he has been through. He and I are closer to each other and God then ever. Maybe that is the blessing in disguise through all this.

How nice.

I make about $35,000. She makes about $45,000.

Your incomes are close.

I told her in the begining of all this that I did not want any child support,

Child support is NOT for you. It is for your son. You are being stupid by not having your son's mother FINANCIALLY support the child. That money is NOT yours. It is the child's.

alimony or

Most likely you would not get alimony because the incomes are close.

health insurance from her.

If she has health insurance she should have your son on it. That benefits the child. You are being short sighted and narrow minded and quite frankly STUPID not to want him insured on his mother's insurance -- even if you have your own.
As for you -- her health insurance would NOT be able to cover you after the divorce.

As far as I'm concerned she owes me nothing but I feel she does owe her son something.

Yet you don't want her to pay child support.

So it is only fair that her school loan be her responsibility since she will not responsible for anything else concearning him financialy.

Again this is YOUR stupidity. It is NO longer HER school loan. IT IS YOUR CONSOLIDATED LOAN TOGETHER. Hence also your responsibility. CHILD SUPPORT is for the child. Not payment of YOUR DEBT!

I am supporting myself and my son just fine. I just wanted my son to be happy, loved and secure. As of now, he is both...

So says you. More likely you are happy because you have your son and you are projecting that. How do you think your son is going to feel a year or two from now because his mom (you seem to convey) abandoned him? Oh yeah. That doesn't matter because YOU are enough of a parent. Again, shortsighted.

Thanks again everybody.

You are welcome but I don't think you are going to listen or care. You want someone to agree with you.

 

[Bali Hai]

No it is not PARTIALLY true. It is fact.



You signed for the loan. It is YOUR loan. You assumed that responsibility when you TWO consolidated your loans together.



And she did nothing during marriage? She didn't help out with bills or anything, right?



Tough. Your son WILL benefit from her education. you don't deserve to benefit forever from her life if you are divorcing.

I agree and hope that you would make the same comment to some of these other posters who think otherwise.

How nice.




Your incomes are close.

The court will decide whether the incomes are close or have significant disparity considering all other relevant factors that the court deems just and proper.

Child support is NOT for you. It is for your son. You are being stupid by not having your son's mother FINANCIALLY support the child. That money is NOT yours. It is the child's.


Most likely you would not get alimony because the incomes are close.

See above.

If she has health insurance she should have your son on it. That benefits the child. You are being short sighted and narrow minded and quite frankly STUPID not to want him insured on his mother's insurance -- even if you have your own.
As for you -- her health insurance would NOT be able to cover you after the divorce.



Yet you don't want her to pay child support.




Again this is YOUR stupidity. It is NO longer HER school loan. IT IS YOUR CONSOLIDATED LOAN TOGETHER. Hence also your responsibility. CHILD SUPPORT is for the child. Not payment of YOUR DEBT!



So says you. More likely you are happy because you have your son and you are projecting that. How do you think your son is going to feel a year or two from now because his mom (you seem to convey) abandoned him? Oh yeah. That doesn't matter because YOU are enough of a parent. Again, shortsighted.



You are welcome but I don't think you are going to listen or care. You want someone to agree with you.

I agree, he is going at this all wrong.

 

[Bali Hai]

Oh good lord.....sigh...

There is only a brief reference to a child and no indication of where the child lives. Even if he has primary custody of the child that has nothing to do with alimony, it has only to do with child support.

You gleen "squat".

I don't advise anyone to go after alimony without having a reasonable idea of the respective incomes and other situational factors.

You apparently overlooked that this is a long term (17 year) marriage. Or does this just cout if you are the wife "going" for alimony?

You want to encourage men to be Guinea Pigs for your political agenda, without any regard for what it may do to them financially or legally.

I really don't know how asking for alimony could harm someone financially or legally. Care to explain that?

 

[wbsticks]

Hi again everybody,

1. My wife is divorcing. She filed for divorce, I did NOT...

2. My son wanted to come live with me. He requested it. I never pushed him either way. It was HIS CHOICE to come to me and she was more then happy to let him go. She did not resist in any fashion. Now she only calls him briefly once a week and has only seen him 4-5 times in 8 months. So the truth is I have to be enough of a parent because the other parent is not doing their part.

3. Yes, I am responsible because I signed the consolodation loan, but of course that was under the assumption that we would be married, sharing and loving each other and our child for our lifetimes. So legally I am responsible and I will pay if I have to but morally I should only owe the 1300.00 which was MY initial loan amount. As I said, we both benifited from her education in certain ways but she would have had a much tougher time getting through school without my financial and emotional support.

4. I have asked her (begged her) numerous times this past year to go to counseling and pastoral meetings with my son and me, she has refused which is ironic because she is a psychology major. Never the less, my son and I go each week without her. We talk about all these issues including how he will feel about his mom and me in the future.

5. I am not STUPID, of course child support is not for me. It's okay because I will not call you an azz for your rude comments. Again I DO NOT want child support or alimony because I can support us. I am however considering having her pay for his health insurance (which seems redundant if I have to pay for her school loan)

If I wanted everyone to agree then I would not have posted here for advise or be willing to consider change but I am willing to change.

Thanks again everyone

 

[Bali Hai]

Hi again everybody,

1. My wife is divorcing. She filed for divorce, I did NOT...

Irrelevant.

2. My son wanted to come live with me. He requested it. I never pushed him either way. It was HIS CHOICE to come to me and she was more then happy to let him go. She did not resist in any fashion. Now she only calls him briefly once a week and has only seen him 4-5 times in 8 months. So the truth is I have to be enough of a parent because the other parent is not doing their part.

Irrelevant, but if you don't get off your @ss and document all these things, she just may end up with you paying her child support.

3. Yes, I am responsible because I signed the consolodation loan, but of course that was under the assumption that we would be married, sharing and loving each other and our child for our lifetimes. So legally I am responsible and I will pay if I have to but morally I should only owe the 1300.00 which was MY initial loan amount. As I said, we both benifited from her education in certain ways but she would have had a much tougher time getting through school without my financial and emotional support.

Document WHY, i.e. you stayed at home with the child while she attended school, did housework and took care of the home and hearth.

4. I have asked her (begged her) numerous times this past year to go to counseling and pastoral meetings with my son and me, she has refused which is ironic because she is a psychology major. Never the less, my son and I go each week without her. We talk about all these issues including how he will feel about his mom and me in the future.

Irrelevant.

5. I am not STUPID, of course child support is not for me. It's okay because I will not call you an azz for your rude comments. Again I DO NOT want child support or alimony because I can support us. I am however considering having her pay for his health insurance (which seems redundant if I have to pay for her school loan)

You don't know what your situation will be in the future. You could be paying HER child support. As for alimony, let the judge decide if you are entitled to receive it. She would do exactly what I'm suggesting if the roles were reversed, trust me.

If I wanted everyone to agree then I would not have posted here for advise or be willing to consider change but I am willing to change.

Thanks again everyone

You are welcome and good luck.