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separated but not divorced

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gmalia

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? California
My husband stated about 3 months ago he wanted a divorce. We continued to live in the same house while we are trying to sell it due to financial reasons. He started living his lifew as if he was single and I was a room mate. He is not taking a lot of responsibility or help when it comes to the kids and house. He comes and goes when he pleases and spends time with the kids when it is convienient for him. We have no separation papers filed or anything with the courts. My mom lives in Oregon and has offered for me and the kids to come up there to save up money and help me get back on my feet. I would like to know If I can since their are no papers filed and he won't give me permission to leave even when I offered to have the kids stay 3 months at a time with each parent. We have 2 kids together; 2 & 3. And I have a 12 year old from a previous marriage that he has been with for the last 5 1/2 years and now wants nothing to do with him because he isn't his. Even though my 12 yr. old father is not in the picture and my current husband helped raise him. I need to know can he charge me with anything if i leave for a year and come back and possible file for a divorce in Oregon.
 


BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
You can leave anytime you feel like it. You can even leave with the kids and he can't do a thing legally.

What he CAN do however, is to immediately file for divorce in California and ask the court to force the children back. And then you'd also be going back and forth to defend yourself in the divorce.

File now .
 

gmalia

Junior Member
gaining residency

what if i obtain 6 months of residency in Oregon before he files any legal paperwork. Could he still force me back before I'm ready. He has put me through a lot of mental and emotional abuse. I just need to get away and get myself back together for the sake of myself and my kids. Is this possible, he is very lazy and I doubt he will jump right on filing something in court.

Also, if I file for a divorce now, is there a chance that the judge will let me leave to Oregon with the kids. I really don't want to do it like this. I'm not trying to keep the kids from him but he is not helping me just making my life worse and miserable and I feel I have no other choice.
 
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