Separation Agreement Woes

[eamille3]

What is the name of your state? NY
The separation agreement states that a yr after signing the house will be put on the market (I live in the marital residence w/ our 3 young children). Also that any repairs to ready the house for sale will be divided. And that the husband has the right to do the repairs. The yr date is soon and my stbx emailed to say that he has interested buyers & that I had list the house in a few days. None of the repairs have been addressed (some are major) except for a septic issue that I paid for and was never reimbursed 1/2. The house is definately not ready for sale due to these needed repairs. He has a lawyer of course and I don't (I had a court appointed lawyer for family court who told me to let him sue me). Do I have to list it in a few days, considering? Any advice will be appreciated.What is the name of your state?

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by eamille3

What is the name of your state? NY
The separation agreement states that a yr after signing the house will be put on the market (I live in the marital residence w/ our 3 young children). Also that any repairs to ready the house for sale will be divided. And that the husband has the right to do the repairs. The yr date is soon and my stbx emailed to say that he has interested buyers & that I had list the house in a few days. None of the repairs have been addressed (some are major) except for a septic issue that I paid for and was never reimbursed 1/2. The house is definately not ready for sale due to these needed repairs. He has a lawyer of course and I don't (I had a court appointed lawyer for family court who told me to let him sue me). Do I have to list it in a few days, considering? Any advice will be appreciated.What is the name of your state?

No, you don't have to list the house unless both the time is at hand under the divorce decree, AND the needed repairs have been made.

However, its possible that your ex has a buyer who is willing to take the house "as is". If the price being offered is fair in relation to the repairs that need to be made, it might be a good deal. Or, your ex might be trying to pull a fast one.

You really need to communicate with your ex on this issue if at all possible. If not, then it would probably be in your best interest to hire an attorney.

Whatever you do, make sure that his share of the cost of the septic issue gets deducted from his share of the proceeds.

[Ohiogal]

ldij you are incorrect.Without knowing the specific language of the decree you CANNOT state that the repairs must be done. Based on OPs post the cost was to be split but the listing was not conditional on ALL or any of the repairs being made and thus OP must list the house at the time stated in the decree.

As for getting reimbursed for the septic. did she submit the bills to her ex. Did she give her ex the option of fixing it himself?
If so then she can file for contempt depending on how long she has waited for reimbursement and if her ex is willfully not paying.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

ldij you are incorrect.Without knowing the specific language of the decree you CANNOT state that the repairs must be done. Based on OPs post the cost was to be split but the listing was not conditional on ALL or any of the repairs being made and thus OP must list the house at the time stated in the decree.

I agree. Letting a woman decide what repairs must be done before sale would force both of them into bankruptcy.

As for getting reimbursed for the septic. did she submit the bills to her ex. Did she give her ex the option of fixing it himself?
If so then she can file for contempt depending on how long she has waited for reimbursement and if her ex is willfully not paying.

Septic systems usually back up for a reason and it wasn't because the husband was there.

[fairisfair]

Originally Posted by Bali Hai

Septic systems usually back up for a reason and it wasn't because the husband was there.

so we aren't just conniving, we are also incapable of making logical, sound
decisions? Really, Bali, that is quite a generalization.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by fairisfair

so we aren't just conniving, we are also incapable of making logical, sound
decisions? Really, Bali, that is quite a generalization.

I guess you're right.

[eamille3]

Thanks for the feedback. The agreement states that the parties shall equally share the cost of any major repair and any repair necessary for the sale of the house. The husband shall be consulted regarding any repairs and has the first right to complete the work. One yr after the date of this separation agreement the house shall be placed on the market for sale. Either party has the right to purchase the other parties interest for their share of the equity based upon a fair market value.
My ex refuses to communicate with me (it's very frustrating) and ignores all communication from me. He bought our children cell phones and only communicates through them (times of visitation, changes in visitation, etc.). I had to take him to Family court regarding this (it was really stressing out the kids) and the judge was furious about the cell phone situation. The septic exploded 3 days before Xmas and the septic company finally completed the work at 6:30 Xmas eve (what a nightmare). I discovered that our septic system had never been emptied since we built the house in 93.
I will probably list with a broker at a price comparable to what is in my immediate area but not show the house until the repairs are made. Yes, he is trying to pull a fast one. He wants me on the streets and the children to live with him.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by eamille3

Thanks for the feedback. The agreement states that the parties shall equally share the cost of any major repair and any repair necessary for the sale of the house.

Okay so that states any repair NECESSARY for the sale of the house which will be dictated by the purchase agreement signed by a buyer as well as any laws in your area.

The husband shall be consulted regarding any repairs and has the first right to complete the work.

Okay then -- did you consult him regarding the septic tank? Did you give him first right to complete the work?

One yr after the date of this separation agreement the house shall be placed on the market for sale.

Then one year after the date of the agreement the house shall be placed on the market. It does not matter what repairs if any have been made. It is NOT conditional on any repairs being made so it needs put on the market.

Either party has the right to purchase the other parties interest for their share of the equity based upon a fair market value.


So you can purchase his share based on fair market value. Have you made him that offer? If not the house gets listed.


My ex refuses to communicate with me (it's very frustrating) and ignores all communication from me. He bought our children cell phones and only communicates through them (times of visitation, changes in visitation, etc.).


Neither one of you should communicate through the children. That is bad practice. You both should follow the court order for visitation and if there are no specific times for visitation then you should go back to court and get specific times and drop off/pick up points put in if you two cannot communicate like adults.

I had to take him to Family court regarding this (it was really stressing out the kids) and the judge was furious about the cell phone situation.


And what was changed?

The septic exploded 3 days before Xmas and the septic company finally completed the work at 6:30 Xmas eve (what a nightmare). I discovered that our septic system had never been emptied since we built the house in 93.


Did you tell him about this? Did you consult with your ex and give him the first opportunity to do the work or not?


I will probably list with a broker at a price comparable to what is in my immediate area but not show the house until the repairs are made. Yes, he is trying to pull a fast one. He wants me on the streets and the children to live with him.

No he is not. YOU have to put the house on the market. IF YOU DO NOT then you are in violation of the court order. If you act in bad faith -- which not showing the house would be acting in bad faith then you can very easily find YOURSELF in contempt of court and end up with fines, paying his attorney fees and getting a judge ticked at you. You had a year to look for another place to live. You KNEW that this was going to happen. So start looking now and get another place to live if you can't afford to buy out your ex's share of the equity. If you end up on the streets that is your own fault.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by eamille3

Thanks for the feedback. The agreement states that the parties shall equally share the cost of any major repair and any repair necessary for the sale of the house. The husband shall be consulted regarding any repairs and has the first right to complete the work. One yr after the date of this separation agreement the house shall be placed on the market for sale. Either party has the right to purchase the other parties interest for their share of the equity based upon a fair market value.
My ex refuses to communicate with me (it's very frustrating) and ignores all communication from me. He bought our children cell phones and only communicates through them (times of visitation, changes in visitation, etc.). I had to take him to Family court regarding this (it was really stressing out the kids) and the judge was furious about the cell phone situation. The septic exploded 3 days before Xmas and the septic company finally completed the work at 6:30 Xmas eve (what a nightmare). I discovered that our septic system had never been emptied since we built the house in 93.

If your septic exploded you might want to consider changing your diet.

I will probably list with a broker at a price comparable to what is in my immediate area but not show the house until the repairs are made. Yes, he is trying to pull a fast one. He wants me on the streets and the children to live with him.

You are using the so-called "repairs" to extend your stay in the house. YOU don't call the shots when it comes to repairs. You are being recalcitrant.

[fairisfair]

Originally Posted by Bali Hai

You are using the so-called "repairs" to extend your stay in the house. YOU don't call the shots when it comes to repairs. You are being recalcitrant.

OMG, you really are quite funny. Thanks for making me laugh. And you are right, the poster is using the repairs as an excuse to stay in the house. The house should be sold at the agreed time, and I am willing to bet that the court will insure that it is.

Poster,the home repairs would likely get you a better price, but hey, you have had how long to do that???

[eamille3]

Thanks again for the feedback.
I didn't interpret the repairs as "dictated by the buyer". I assumed it meant prior to listing. Yes, he was informed about the septic but refused to communicate. I especially needed information concerning where the tank was, no response, so I had to also pay for them to locate it. No response to any requests. He rec'd a copy of the recpt a week later. And, the septic destroyd my daughter's carpet & pad which had to be replaced and again, no response. I had to have it done (it was 200.00 cheaper than her original carpet). I did all of the removal myself (that was fun).
The judge ordered that he may only contact the children once a day by phone to say goodnight (when they're not with him) and no text messaging.
The diet change?? Don't we all.... The should have been emptied every 3 yrs max with our family size. Now the leech field is failing so I have the DEP coming to inspect it on Monday (yes he was notified).
So, I'll follow the agreement to the letter. Meanwhile, he bought prime property before we were separated (I had no idea) in his mother's name (built a house) and it was transfered a month after the separation in his name (for no $$), & 6 months ago bought another piece of property. I wish that I had the means to investigate hidden assets (but, does it matter). The last yr with him was like living with Jack Nicholson's character in "The Shining". So, I guess, in a sense I'm lucky. Thanks again.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by eamille3

Thanks again for the feedback.
I didn't interpret the repairs as "dictated by the buyer". I assumed it meant prior to listing.

Nope. You do not get to read into it. It says what it says and will be taken as such.


Yes, he was informed about the septic but refused to communicate.

How was he informed?


I especially needed information concerning where the tank was, no response, so I had to also pay for them to locate it. No response to any requests.

How did you send them?

He rec'd a copy of the recpt a week later.

How do you know he received them?


And, the septic destroyd my daughter's carpet & pad which had to be replaced and again, no response. I had to have it done (it was 200.00 cheaper than her original carpet). I did all of the removal myself (that was fun).

Did you let him know about the carpet and pad and give him time to inform you if he would do the work?


The judge ordered that he may only contact the children once a day by phone to say goodnight (when they're not with him) and no text messaging.

Why was this ordered and truthfully what does this have to do with the rest of the post?



The diet change?? Don't we all.... The should have been emptied every 3 yrs max with our family size. Now the leech field is failing so I have the DEP coming to inspect it on Monday (yes he was notified).

Okay well you lived in the house as well so you can't blame him for it not being emptied. YOu are both to blame.


So, I'll follow the agreement to the letter.
[i]
Yep. You will list the house at the one year mark. [i]

Meanwhile, he bought prime property before we were separated (I had no idea) in his mother's name (built a house)

Actually no he did not buy the property. His Mother bought it and unless you have evidence showing otherwise (his money used for a down payment, writings showing that it was his property though in her name, etcetera) you don't have much.


and it was transfered a month after the separation in his name (for no $$),

So mom gifted it to him. That was sweet but there was no guarantee of that happening.


& 6 months ago bought another piece of property.

Which was after your divorce if I am understanding you correctly so you have NO claim on it.


I wish that I had the means to investigate hidden assets (but, does it matter). The last yr with him was like living with Jack Nicholson's character in "The Shining". So, I guess, in a sense I'm lucky. Thanks again.

What hidden assets do you think he has?

[eamille3]

The cell phone court order was in response to Ohiogal's question and it has nothing to do with the house situation. And, we are not divorced yet. Any correspondence in regard to the repairs were done by email, text messaging and finally in writing with proof of mailings, never with any response. I'm wasn't trying to stall the sale of the house, just under the impression that all of the repairs had to be done to make the house ready for sale. I have been actively searching for a house in the crazy market here since the agreement was signed but really don't want to add stress to the kids by moving them out of their house. Some would disagree (they'll adjust) but to me it is a sense of security.
So, if I but him out and wants nothing to do with the repairs, 1/2 of the cost of the repairs will be deducted from the selling price. Correct? Thanks

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by eamille3

The cell phone court order was in response to Ohiogal's question and it has nothing to do with the house situation. And, we are not divorced yet. Any correspondence in regard to the repairs were done by email, text messaging and finally in writing with proof of mailings, never with any response. I'm wasn't trying to stall the sale of the house, just under the impression that all of the repairs had to be done to make the house ready for sale. I have been actively searching for a house in the crazy market here since the agreement was signed but really don't want to add stress to the kids by moving them out of their house. Some would disagree (they'll adjust) but to me it is a sense of security.
So, if I but him out and wants nothing to do with the repairs, 1/2 of the cost of the repairs will be deducted from the selling price. Correct? Thanks

NO. You buy him out as is. Stop playing games.

You can consider yourself lucky because in NYS the time of commencement of the divorce action is the value of the home he SHOULD receive.

You have blown up the septic system three times and who knows what else you have done to de-value the property.

Consider yourself fortunate to have a separation agreement.

You have screwed him enough. Move on to the next victim.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by eamille3

The cell phone court order was in response to Ohiogal's question and it has nothing to do with the house situation. And, we are not divorced yet. Any correspondence in regard to the repairs were done by email, text messaging and finally in writing with proof of mailings, never with any response. I'm wasn't trying to stall the sale of the house, just under the impression that all of the repairs had to be done to make the house ready for sale. I have been actively searching for a house in the crazy market here since the agreement was signed but really don't want to add stress to the kids by moving them out of their house. Some would disagree (they'll adjust) but to me it is a sense of security.
So, if I but him out and wants nothing to do with the repairs, 1/2 of the cost of the repairs will be deducted from the selling price. Correct? Thanks

Well, you can offer to buy him out at a price that takes the repairs into consideration. He may not accept your offer. If he doesn't accept your offer, then you can try taking it to the court and see if the judge will award the house to you (with an equity payout to him) taking the repairs into consideration.

However, before you do that you need to be certain that you will qualify for enough of a mortgage to cover the existing mortgage and pay out his half of the equity, and you have to be certain that you can realistically afford the mortgage. You also need to have an professional appraisal done (again taking the repairs into consideration) to show the judge the real value of the home. The appraisal will have to be done anyway.