separation before divorce

[sunshan06]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? AZ

My husband in a last ditch effort to save our marriage has proposed that we seek counseling and that he is willing to move out and have a legal separation.

I know I want a divorce. But I am trying to do this as amicably and as delicate as I can. Since there are children involved, and possibly a property dispute, this would seem like a move more beneficial to me since I would retain custody of the kids and house by his agreeance during the legal separation. Am I right?

Are there any reasons not to do this, other than prolonging the inevitable?

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? AZ

My husband in a last ditch effort to save our marriage has proposed that we seek counseling and that he is willing to move out and have a legal separation.

I know I want a divorce. But I am trying to do this as amicably and as delicate as I can. Since there are children involved, and possibly a property dispute, this would seem like a move more beneficial to me since I would retain custody of the kids and house by his agreeance during the legal separation. Am I right?

Are there any reasons not to do this, other than prolonging the inevitable?

Background:
http://www.hildebrandlaw.com/arizonalegalseparation.html

Yes, if he moves out and you keep the kids, that strengthens your position when the ultimate custody decision is made. The status quo would be the kids staying with you - and judges prefer to leave the status quo in place whenever possible.

Because AZ requires you to settle matters just as if you were getting a divorce, you'll get much of the same result but it is emotionally less traumatic on some people. You might therefore decide that it's worthwhile to give him a chance to get used to the idea - even ignoring the child custody issue. NOTE that this means you'll need to resolve your property dispute in a legal separation just as you would in a divorce.

There are a couple of minor downsides:
1. You can't get on with your life (dating, etc) for a longer time if that's important to you.
2. Simply the feeling of uncertainty.
3. The cost will increase since you'll eventually need a divorce, anyway. However, once you're legally separated, the divorce is a formality, so it won't cost THAT much extra.

The bigger potential downside (one person hiding assets or otherwise manipulating the system) isn't as much of an issue in an AZ legal separation since you do all the property division, child custody, etc at the time of the separation, so you each have access only to your own property.

 

[sunshan06]

Many many thanks.