Settlement

[mikebox]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VA

My wife an I are going through a divorce, we've been separated for over a year. We have each retained a lawyer to represent us. There have been issues in the past that prevented us from working together on a settlement. Recently my wife an I have agreed to put our differences to the side and work together to reach an agreement for the sake of our future sanity and our child.

My attorney had drafted up an agreement based on the discussions I've had with my wife and sent them to her attorney. So far, we have gone back and made adjustments twice. Now we're at the point where my wife and I both agree with everything in the agreement, but her attorney does not. He wants her to go after me for more money, but she does not wish to. He is now making it very difficult for us to reach an agreement, as he is essentially now always "unavailable" when my wife tries to reach him, a week will go by and he he'll finally arrange for them to talk. He's refusing to allow my wife to sign the agreement and making requests that my wife is not asking for, nor wants. She and I both just want to sign and be done with this mess.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to deal with a lawyer that won't listen? Can we just draft up an agreement on our own and file it with the courts? Do we really need an attorney at this point, giving we each know exactly what we want to agree on, heck, we even have the agreement.

Thank you!

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VA

My wife an I are going through a divorce, we've been separated for over a year. We have each retained a lawyer to represent us. There have been issues in the past that prevented us from working together on a settlement. Recently my wife an I have agreed to put our differences to the side and work together to reach an agreement for the sake of our future sanity and our child.

My attorney had drafted up an agreement based on the discussions I've had with my wife and sent them to her attorney. So far, we have gone back and made adjustments twice. Now we're at the point where my wife and I both agree with everything in the agreement, but her attorney does not. He wants her to go after me for more money, but she does not wish to. He is now making it very difficult for us to reach an agreement, as he is essentially now always "unavailable" when my wife tries to reach him, a week will go by and he he'll finally arrange for them to talk. He's refusing to allow my wife to sign the agreement and making requests that my wife is not asking for, nor wants. She and I both just want to sign and be done with this mess.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to deal with a lawyer that won't listen? Can we just draft up an agreement on our own and file it with the courts? Do we really need an attorney at this point, giving we each know exactly what we want to agree on, heck, we even have the agreement.

Thank you!

What specifically, are her attorney's "sticking points"? You can't get good advice here if we don't know that.

There are some things a judge is unlikely to sign off on, even if you agree.

 

[mikebox]

What specifically, are her attorney's "sticking points"? You can't get good advice here if we don't know that.

There are some things a judge is unlikely to sign off on, even if you agree.

He wants to do a full discovery of all assets, even though neither of us care. We know what we each have and we don't want to spend more time on his "discovery".

 

[mistoffolees]

He wants to do a full discovery of all assets, even though neither of us care. We know what we each have and we don't want to spend more time on his "discovery".

You should be able to waive that, although it might save a lot of trouble in the end if you go ahead with discovery.

Discovery doesn't have to be a big deal - you each list all your assets and certify that the list is complete.

But, in the end, the attorney works for her. If the attorney does not follow her wishes (except where her wishes are illegal), the attorney should do it. She should forcefully tell the attorney "thanks for your advice, I've taken it under consideration and wish to proceed. Please file the appropriate documents". If the attorney refuses, find another attorney or report this one to the State Bar.

 

[Bali Hai]

You should be able to waive that, although it might save a lot of trouble in the end if you go ahead with discovery.

Discovery doesn't have to be a big deal - you each list all your assets and certify that the list is complete.

But, in the end, the attorney works for her. If the attorney does not follow her wishes (except where her wishes are illegal), the attorney should do it. She should forcefully tell the attorney "thanks for your advice, I've taken it under consideration and wish to proceed. Please file the appropriate documents". If the attorney refuses, find another attorney or report this one to the State Bar.

How big a bite can the attorney take without knowing all the assets involved??

 

[creative]

My ex-husband and I had a similar situation. In the end, we decided to fire our attorneys and go at it alone. We finished the agreement, went before a judge (both attorneys were present and tried to tell the judge that they should represent us), and after the judge heard each of us speak, granted the divorce....

Otherwise, we would have spent lots more money on this divorce. It's not worth it. My ex-husband and I still fight like cats and dogs, but at least we're not spending money on attorneys. Even with attorneys, there are still disagreements.

If she's happy and you're happy, then go for it as long as nobody is financially or emotionally hurt, otherwise my advise is to stick with the lawyers.

 

[mikebox]

My ex-husband and I had a similar situation. In the end, we decided to fire our attorneys and go at it alone. We finished the agreement, went before a judge (both attorneys were present and tried to tell the judge that they should represent us), and after the judge heard each of us speak, granted the divorce....

Otherwise, we would have spent lots more money on this divorce. It's not worth it. My ex-husband and I still fight like cats and dogs, but at least we're not spending money on attorneys. Even with attorneys, there are still disagreements.

If she's happy and you're happy, then go for it as long as nobody is financially or emotionally hurt, otherwise my advise is to stick with the lawyers.

Interesting, why were the attorney's present if you had fired them? We're they required to be in court or did they just go on their own accord?

 

[creative]

I suppose they went on their own accord. We had our attorneys sign a substitution of attorneys, but they were adamantly against us representing ourselves because the properties were what they called "substantial" and they were in different states. In addition, my x and I are in a joint venture together in the oil and precious metals...they wanted to protect themselves in case we blame them or something, I suppose....or they simply wanted more money.

I don't really know, but the judge sided with my x and me allowing us to represent ourselves.