sex, lies and violence. I NEED ADVICE PLEASE

[finallydone]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida
I've been married for 27 yrs; 6 children all grown. For the first 19 yrs I was the majjor breadwinner. We moved to FL in 2003 and together made the decision that I would not work. He's become increasingly cruel and violent over the past couple of yrs and really bad lately so I'm going to file for an injunction at the courthouse tomorrow. I've never filed charges or told anyone before bc I wanted to keep our family together. He is gay but denies it. Everytime I caught him he became violent—first a broken arm, lots of bruises and now I'm afraid of him. He was arrested for soliciting prostitution and exposing his genitals to a policeman in October2007. When I picked him up from jail and asked him how he could do such a thing he punched me in the head with his fist and it hit the car window. This July 4 when he caught me checking his cell phone he put horrible bruises on both arms , shoulder and back. Last Fri I told him I was done and I wanted him to help me find an apt for me and our daughter to live and he got in my face and try to shove me but our daughter grabbed the keys and we left. When we came back, as usual, he acted like nothing happened. He makes 72K. We have nothing bc he spends it on lunches, dinners, cars, and gaybars. I am beaten down so emotionally I don't function as a human being and I am getting out. If I use the 2500 in my bank account to move instead of for the rent, will a judge hold that against me? He has two credit cards, one 300 bal and one 500 bal that he thinks I don't know about; he pays min on those per month. One 362 car payment, one 158 car paym., 381 for car ins per month. Thats it beside rent and utilities. Can I get 2500 per month as spousal supprt until I can get well enough to work again? With promises of a fresh start after our home was foreclosed on, he talked me into signing a lease with him on a 2500 per month house. I want out; he can turn it in to a boarding house for other confused husbands if he wants. DO I have to live in a dump because I want out or can I ask for the support?

 

[JKBee]

I'm sorry I can't help you with much advice. I can't understand why you haven't called the police and had him dragged off to jail about 27 years and 6 kids ago, though. Well, actually I guess I can, but you know you should have done this long ago.

You do need to call the police, have him arrested, and get a restraining order if he ever touches you or your kids again. Then go immediately for a protection order. Go to courthouse or to police and ask for help here. You will be able to get an emergency restraining order within a couple hours or so. This is only during the court hours, though, so don't try to do this at night. Then he will have a chance, when he gets out of jail, to go and tell the judge why you shouldn't have this restraining order against him. Now restraining orders are not always alot of protection. However, if he does come into your presence again while this restraining order is in effect, the police will arrest him again, and he will get a nice trip downtown to visit his favorite cell again. May or may not stay very long, though.

Now as soon as you get the police to clear him out the door, go get the money out of your joint bank account that you will need to retain an attorney for your divorce from him. Wish I could give you some help in how to pick an attorney, but wish you better luck than I've had lately here! If you have any friends who can help you here, ask them for help with this.

Your attorney can file for divorce and give the paperwork to your husband when he appears in court to face the judge regarding the restraining order. Your attorney should get you maintenance and your residence if that is what you want. And as soon as you get the restraining order, you can include your residence as a forbidden zone for him.

But Please, get out, quickly now!

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida
I've been married for 27 yrs; 6 children all grown. For the first 19 yrs I was the majjor breadwinner. We moved to FL in 2003 and together made the decision that I would not work. He's become increasingly cruel and violent over the past couple of yrs and really bad lately so I'm going to file for an injunction at the courthouse tomorrow. I've never filed charges or told anyone before bc I wanted to keep our family together

Unfortunately you're not going to be able to use this against him at the moment.

. He is gay but denies it.

Absolutely irrelevant.

Everytime I caught him he became violent—first a broken arm, lots of bruises and now I'm afraid of him. He was arrested for soliciting prostitution and exposing his genitals to a policeman in October2007. When I picked him up from jail and asked him how he could do such a thing he punched me in the head with his fist and it hit the car window. This July 4 when he caught me checking his cell phone he put horrible bruises on both arms , shoulder and back. Last Fri I told him I was done and I wanted him to help me find an apt for me and our daughter to live and he got in my face and try to shove me but our daughter grabbed the keys and we left. When we came back, as usual, he acted like nothing happened.

Please don't go back again.

He makes 72K. We have nothing bc he spends it on lunches, dinners, cars, and gaybars. I am beaten down so emotionally I don't function as a human being and I am getting out. If I use the 2500 in my bank account to move instead of for the rent, will a judge hold that against me? He has two credit cards, one 300 bal and one 500 bal that he thinks I don't know about; he pays min on those per month. One 362 car payment, one 158 car paym., 381 for car ins per month. Thats it beside rent and utilities. Can I get 2500 per month as spousal supprt until I can get well enough to work again? With promises of a fresh start after our home was foreclosed on, he talked me into signing a lease with him on a 2500 per month house. I want out; he can turn it in to a boarding house for other confused husbands if he wants. DO I have to live in a dump because I want out or can I ask for the support?

You can ask for support, yes. With a long marriage and an obvious disparity in income you will probably be awarded at least temporary rehabilitative alimony.

If you are genuinely in danger you need to get out, and quickly - if that means using the funds in your bank account then do it. And you need to start looking for a job.

Above all though - GET YOURSELF TO SAFETY.