She won't leave

[1good guy]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia

My marriage has been shot for years. My wife and I have discussed divorce now that our child is in college. She is neither willing to move out of the house nor take over the house payments. Do I have to allow the house to go into foreclosure and ruin my credit just to divorce? If I move out I cannot afford to make the house payment and rent elsewhere.

Can we legally separate while sharing the same roof?

What are my options?

Thanks in advance.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia

My marriage has been shot for years. My wife and I have discussed divorce now that our child is in college. She is neither willing to move out of the house nor take over the house payments. Do I have to allow the house to go into foreclosure and ruin my credit just to divorce? If I move out I cannot afford to make the house payment and rent elsewhere.

Can we legally separate while sharing the same roof?

What are my options?

Thanks in advance.

What you probably need is to get the house on the market.

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia

My marriage has been shot for years. My wife and I have discussed divorce now that our child is in college. She is neither willing to move out of the house nor take over the house payments. Do I have to allow the house to go into foreclosure and ruin my credit just to divorce? If I move out I cannot afford to make the house payment and rent elsewhere.

Can we legally separate while sharing the same roof?

What are my options?

Thanks in advance.

You have lots of options.

File for divorce (or legal separation if that's what you wish or what is required in your state). You can then petition the court for a temporary resolution - for example, you might ask for temporary possession of the house (with you making the payments) or you might ask the court to have her take over the payments if she keeps the house on a temporary basis (although you should insist on getting copies of the bank statements so you can take action if she doesn't pay).

You could both stay in the house while the divorce is pending. That isn't always a good solution from an emotional perspective, but it is legal. HOWEVER, it might prevent you from using one of the possible grounds for divorce in VA - voluntary separation.

If you choose to use voluntary separation as your grounds, then you need to be apart for 6 months with a valid separation agreement or 1 year with no separation agreement (technically, this only applies when there are no kids, but since your kids are in college, it should be OK).

Do you have other grounds? Virginia Divorce Law. The other grounds may be tough to prove if your wife wants to contest it. You may need to use the voluntary separation grounds and therefore move out of the house.

BTW, there is no legal separation in VA - only a limited divorce which is similar, but not exactly the same.

You should contact a local attorney to discuss your options in more detail.

 

[1good guy]

She won't have sex and is drinking...sometimes abusing meds.

I would rather not go that route because of the child.

So what you are saying is that if we separate and live in the same house that might ruin the voluntary separation grounds for an absolute divorce? Then I would need to try to use other grounds?

She will not voluntarily agree to even separate. So that would take one year of seperation?

If I just leave isn't that desertion?

 

[nextwife]

Don't leave. File for divorce, and that the house be ordered sold. Once sold, you can live apart and start the seperation clock ticking.

You need to be there to make sure that showings are allowed and not confounded. If you leave, selling will be very problematic, as she will likely not cooperate with the selling process.